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[britbrat84.livejournal.com]

Title: Leaving is Hard on the Knees
Author: Brittany britbrat84
Pairing: VM/OB
Rating: PG
Summary: Viggo is leaving and Orlando is confused.
Disclaimer: This is not true. Never was and never will be.
Feedback: very much appreciated
Author's Note: This is based off a Japanese ko-uta poem called "I'm Leaving". It's kinda angsty and is done in Orlando's POV. This is my very first rps ever and the first fic I've written in a few years, so be kind if I'm a bit rusty. Also, I didn't have a beta, so forgive my bad grammar should there be any. I'm not sure if it's going to be a one-parter or not, we'll just have to wait and see I suppose...x-posted at more_than_mates, orlandoslash, and vigorleancult



I roll over and feel the cold sheets beneath my fingers and I quickly come to consciousness. My eyes focus in the darkness and I see you sitting in a chair at the foot of the bed with your elbows on your knees and your chin resting on your clasped hands. All of a sudden, I begin to worry as a sad, contemplative look crosses your face. You seem so tired in this moment, as if the weight of the world rests on your shoulders. I sit up slowly, the chill air raising goosebumps on my naked skin. You notice my movement, but you don't move to warm me when I lightly rub my arms against the cold. After a moment, I finally get the courage to ask, "What's wrong?"

Two simple words float softly from your lips, "I'm leaving."

My heart stops for a split second in that moment and I hope it stops forever, but like the loyal organ it is, it continues to beat. Traitor.

"Why?" I'm a bit confused. My voice sounds desperate, pleading for an answer. I suppose I am. Why would you want to leave after last night? You seemed so happy. What changed in the few hours I had been asleep?

"You wouldn't understand."

Is that all you can say? Is there no explanation other that that? Frustration begins to creep into my mind. I don't want to be angry at you, but I can't help it. "What wouldn't I understand?"

"It's complicated."

I breathe out and rake a hand through my hair. I try to keep the frustration out of my voice, but I don't entirely succeed. "What's complicated? Why're you leaving? What is going on?!" I shout and I see you flinch. You have rarely heard me raise my voice in anger before and you can sense I am almost at my breaking point. "Tell me! What are you doing?"

You let out an anguished sigh and stand up. You suddenly look panicked, as if the room were closing in on you. You look at me sadly and I hold my breath, wide-eyed in anticipation, waiting to hear what you will say next. "I told you, I'm leaving," you say quietly. And just like that, you walk toward the door.

"Wait, Viggo, please," I say as I leave the bed and come toward you. You pause with your hand on the door, but you don't turn around. What's going on in your mind, I wonder? What is it that led up to this moment and how did I not see the signs?

I place my hand on your arm in a feeble attempt to keep you here.

"Orlando don't."

The phrase comes as a warning to my ears, but I don't heed it. "Why won't you talk to me?" I move around to face you and I notice you noticing my lack of clothing. "I thought we could tell each other anything." You look into my eyes then and I see sadness and torment churning in yours. What's caused this change in you? "Please," I say. I don't know what I'm pleading, but it seems to get through to you.

You lift your hand to my face and gently caress my cheek. Love shines in your eyes in that moment. My eyes water and you erase the tear that begins to roll down my cheek. You lean in then and gently touch my mouth with yours. It is a very chaste kiss compared to others we've shared. My mind seems to go blank as you deepen the kiss and run your hand through my hair. Then the kiss changes and somehow I get the feeling it's goodbye.

We break apart and I see the sad look return to your face. I'm certain my eyes reveal the hurt and confusion I'm feeling right now. Once again you touch my face and I shut my eyes relishing the feeling.

I open my eyes again and watch as you steel yourself for what comes next. "I'm sorry," you tell me as you turn away. Sorry? Why are you sorry? Why are you doing this? But before I get to vocalize these questions, you leave the room and me. For a second I stand there not processing what just happened, until faintly I hear the click of the apartment door and I know you've left for good. I yearn to go after you; to call you back; to beg if need be, but my legs don't move. I just stand there a minute in stunned silence until, finally, the weight of what happened sinks in and I fall on my knees to the floor.

Comments

[heather88.livejournal.com]

Ouch. But I loved it. So sad and painful and yet, beautiful.

[galor5.livejournal.com]

oh that was really sad :(

I want to know why Viggo left.

*hugs Orlando*

[britbrat84.livejournal.com]

Glad you liked it. And yeah, I was in an angsty frame of mind when my muse blind-sided me with this plot bunny. :P

[tati.livejournal.com]

:( it's so sad... i too want to know why he left

[britbrat84.livejournal.com]

So do you think I should continue it?

[tati.livejournal.com]

definitely. and preferably get them back together :D *bats eyelashes*

[chocmarsh.livejournal.com]

Wow. This was the pain and confusion Orlando goes through is beautifully shown. I like that it's a snippet from their life. We don't know what happened before hand and are left hanging with their future. We just know Orlando hurts and that he can tell Viggo does as well.

[britbrat84.livejournal.com]

Exactly. :D