vigorli

Title: I hate spiders
Author:

Pairing: V/O
Rating: PG for sexual references and slight language.
Disclaimer: Don't know 'em. Wish I did though.... I'd suggest they get together and soon. :)
Summary: Okay, so I wrote this a long, long time ago and thought I'd re-post it just to see if anyone enjoyed it.

     Viggo was sitting in the living room reading a newspaper when "it" happened. He heard the clang and clatter of the computer keyboard banging against the desk and then heard Orlando's high pitched cry. He launched to his feet and ran to the little office they had created for their computer usage. Upon entering the room, he saw the keyboard lying helplessly half on and half off the desk. He looked around the room and saw Orlando perched on a chair opposite the computer.

      " What the hell, Orli?" Viggo arched an eyebrow.

     " I was reading... slash, you know," Orlando bowed his head slightly. " And I was just sitting there... like I always do... and wham!"

     " I heard the wham," Viggo chuckled. " What was it?"

     " There's a spider in the keyboard," Orlando frowned, pointing to the offending object.

     " You're kidding, right?" Viggo laughed loudly.

     " No, I'm not," Orlando shook his head. " Kill it!"

     " You said it's in the keybaord?" Viggo asked, walking over to the desk.

     Orlando nodded.

     Viggo picked up the offending object and shook it. Nothing came out. " Maybe he crawled out, Orli. I think you're safe..."

     " NO!" Orlando shouted. " You can't make me use it after there's been a spider in there! What if it laid eggs or something?"

     Viggo burst out laughing. " Orlando, I highly doubt that the spider laid eggs in the keyboard. It probably crawled out and wandered off."

     " Oh, that makes me feel sooooo much better, Viggo," Orlando glared at his lover. " The spider that was in my keyboard is now wandering around on my desk. Thank you soooo much! No sex for you tonight."

     Viggo's eyes widened. " Orlando..."

     " What?" Orlando crossed his arms. " You mock me... no sex for you."

     Viggo sighed heavily, not wanting to be on Orlando's bad side. He was really looking forward to trying position #32 out of their new book. " Okay babe... I'm sorry. What would you like me to do?"

     " Check the room for spiders!" Orlando said. " Shake the keyboard more... maybe it's still in there! Laying eggs! OH God!"

     " Orlando, calm down," Viggo soothed. " I'm sure it's not laying eggs."

     " Well...then what is it doing?" Orlando asked.

     " I... I don't know," Viggo sighed. " But I'll find it, okay?"

     " How?"

     Viggo set the keyboard back down and picked up his phone. He dialed a number and waited. " Hi... customer service please..."

     He waited only a few more minutes before someone picked up on the other line. " Hi... um, there's a spider in my keyboard and I'm wondering what would be the best solution to get rid of it... no, I've tried shaking it... it hasn't come out. No, I think it's still in there... Hmmm, okay... yeah, I'll try that."

     As Viggo hung up the phone, Orlando peered over carefully. " Viggo? What'd he say?"

     Viggo walked over to the other side of the room and opened a table drawer. He pulled out a metal rod and walked back over to the keyboard. Very carefully, he used the rod to hit all the keys to attempt to startle the spider out of hiding.

     When he hit the enter button, he suddenly saw movement. Picking up the keyboard, he shook it rapidly and the offending black creature fell to the floor. Viggo quickly stomped on it, squashing the foul beast.

     Orlando heard the squishing of the spider and lept to his feet. He launched himself at Viggo. " OH! MY HERO!"

     " Ooof," Viggo grunted as Orlando slammed into him. " Baby..."

     " Oh *kiss* you *kiss* wonderful *kiss* man!" Orlando gathered Viggo close to him, thanking him completely. " I love you so much..."

     " Cause I killed a spider?" Viggo asked softly.

     " Cause you risked your life to do it!" Orlando said seriously. " I mean, that thing could have killed you!"

     Viggo chuckled. " That I highly doubt, baby... but it's dead now, okay? Now... how about some more kisses? Or do you need to get back to your daily amount of slash?"

     Orlando twined himself around Viggo. " Mmm, I think I can give you more kisses... afterall... you are such a manly man..."

     " Oh yes," Viggo nodded, leaning down to capture Orlando's lips. " Killing spiders for my lover..."

     " Evil, deadly spiders," Orlando shuddered. " Scary evil beasts from hell... eight-legged freaks...sent to haunt us..."

     " Orli?" Viggo licked along Orlando's neck.

     " Yes, Viggo?" Orlando panted slightly.

     " Shut up about the damn spiders," Viggo squeezed Orlando's ass. " And concentrate on position #32..."

The End

Heehee... yeah, that's it. A repost from my LJ... just thought I'd share. :)