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vigorliI am posting this again because a friend asked me so nicely...
TITLE: Shattering
AUTHOR: obvmluver
PAIRING: Viggo/Orlando
RATING: G - PG13 (I think)
WARNINGS: Doesn't have any really
SUMMARY: Viggo and Orlando find something terrible out. Will they be able to make it through?
DISCLAIMER: This is based on a real life experience...
BETA: The one and only... The Wonderful willys_digs
A/N: This banner was made by a dear friend of mine.
PART 1: SHATTERING (Orlando’s POV)
One rainy Friday evening.
The call I had been afraid of came at 8:27 PM. Before I get into detail about that call I better tell you where this all started.
For years Viggo had suffered from unexplainable loss of balance from time to time. It wasn’t something we thought would be severe. He had a low blood pressure and we always thought those two had to be related. Until he started losing the feeling of his left leg. First it all pointed to a nerve being in pressure. With good meds for neuralgia the inevitable pain stayed away and the numbness lessened. We already thought that was it, that we had managed to win that crippling pain and loud cursing it would bring with it. My God we were wrong.
The numbness started to rise slowly edging towards his left armpit. My concerns woke immediately. Something had to be terribly wrong with him. We contacted Viggo’s doctor who then contacted the state’s best neurologist. All symptoms pointed to Viggo having something wrong in his neural system up in bulbus area. At that time I didn’t know what it meant.
This neurologist said there needed to be taken an MRI scan as soon as possible. At that point I was scared shitless. The speed Viggo was taken in for the scan and all made me constantly feel sick. Now, I felt like I was losing my mind. I wasn’t prepared to go through anything like this when we both discovered we wanted to be more than friends.
The results of the scan came quickly and we got the light analysis no long afterwards. In Viggo’s spinal cord slightly to the left, right under the bulbus, was a pea-sized tumor pressuring the important nerves of his whole left side. The reason for his weird symptoms had been found.
The next step we had to take was to talk it through. First we called to our closest friends and then to Christine and Henry to let them know what had happened and how we were going to proceed from now on. And then we had to talk, just the two of us.
We went outside into the rain. I searched for his hand and soon he gripped it turning to me and admitted he was scared. Right then I knew I had to be the strong part of the two. It was an overwhelming feeling since Viggo had always been supporting me in everything. All I could do was nod and say it was only human to be scared and that we were going to pull it through no matter how impossible it seemed.
There were many possibilities what might happen. Viggo might pull through the surgery with flying colours the tumor being benign. Or he could pull through the surgery well but the tumor could be malignant and he’d need chemotherapy and cytostatics. Or then he could be paralysed forever or he could die. No one could tell what the chances were to survive as the winner. Silently we had to prepare for the worst no matter how much we needed to keep the champion atmosphere on.
We both grew silent then and it didn’t take long for the hiccupping sobs starting to fall from his lips. I enveloped him into my arms and kept whispering soothing words to his ears. It was the first time I had seen a grown man break down into an uncontrollable cry. Of course we both knew the tumor was not Viggo’s fault in any way and that he could do nothing to make it go away. But still, a pea-sized little thing was able to stop the world turning.
To go through everything was both physically and emotionally draining. It sucked most of the energy out of Viggo. Slowly the pouring rain started to feel cold as it reached our skin through our clothes. Viggo being exhausted started shivering so I took him back in to rid him of the soaked clothes, dry him up and change him into a fresh pair of boxers. I knew he could have done all that himself but on my insistence he let me do the work.
I did much the same to myself after I had gotten Viggo under the covers. Then I took my place beside him on the bed and pushed myself up on my side. I ran my fingertips along his temple and hair looking deep in his eyes. He had stopped crying but fear was evident in his blue eyes. He then took my hand in his gently and kissed my knuckles. I offered him a weak smile and encouraged him to close his eyes and get some sleep.
I watched him fall asleep, the wrinkles and lines on his face soften, before I got up and slowly walked out of the bedroom. I carefully closed the door and leaned against it. That’s when I fell to my knees and let myself shatter into million little pieces.
XXXXXXXXXX
SHATTERING PART 2: AN ATTEMPT TO COPE (Orlando’s POV)
”Orli… Wake up sweetie.”
“Huh…What?”
“What are you doing here sleeping on the floor?”
“What time is it?”
“A little past seven.”
“Oh...” I stood up shakily and looked at Viggo. “I, uh... I... “ Silence fell between us but a flood of words from me ended that. “I’m scared, Vig. My mind was like a hurricane last night. It still is. Little things from here and there, reminders of you, happy times, are all a mess I can’t figure out. So... I... guess I broke down and cried myself to sleep.” I shrugged then. “I never knew I’d have to go through something like this. I know you didn’t either. It’s just... This is breaking me, Vig. I feel like I’m not strong enough to keep the spirits up, support you, support myself, and yet I have to prepare for the worst. I feel like I’m losing it. One minute I’m happy, laughing and smiling, the next I’m in tears. I only have to look at your peaceful face and I break down. And I can’t seem to stop. Last night I felt like I was keeping the walls up alone. I just... I’m not ready to lose you. I’m not. I’m not. I’m not.”
Another small silence fell upon us.
“Oh dear God...” I said my voice cracking. I squeezed my eyes shut and covered my mouth with my hand. Dropping my head,my shoulders started shaking and I leaned against the wall for support. “I’m sorry...” I said with a husky voice. “I shouldn’t be doing this. Not in front of you...” Clearing my throat a few times and wiping my watery eyes I looked up into Viggo’s eyes again. They had tears in them too, caught in the lashes. They shimmered in the faint morning light like pearls.
The pain inside me was evident. Viggo, being a perceptive person, saw that through my eyes. Sometimes it was a bad thing that he was able to read me like an open book. His jaw was trembling and he closed his eyes only to gently pull me in his arms and nuzzle my neck. I had always found a great amount of support doing that so I did the same thing.
Slowly I searched for his arms that he kept loosely in his pockets and I guided them around my waist. He grabbed the hem of my shirt in a fierce grasp letting out a sad and small moaning sound. I tried to wind my own arms around him as protectively as I could, as I knew how, and stayed there, my nose buried in his hair, his nose buried in mine.
We stayed there for what seemed like an eternity. I pulled back a little, sniffling. “Okay. I think it’s time for breakfast. British bacon and eggs as usual?”
Viggo then looked at me and all he could do was pull me in and give me a warm kiss. I probably hit too close to home by knowing exactly how he preferred his breakfast. Normally we never paid much attention to things like this but now, knowing the circumstances, everything was different. I cradled his face with my hands looking deeply in his eyes. “Bacon and eggs it is.”
We slowly made our way to the kitchen as we didn’t want to break the close connection we had. Viggo kept stealing little kisses from me, as if to memorise every detail in me once again, all the way through.
I pulled a chair for Viggo to sit on and then reluctantly letting go of him. It was a weird feeling I had when I realized Viggo wasn’t willing to break it. With his toes attached to my Achilles’ heel he sat there and waited. It was important to both of us.
I set the table in front of him; made the Brazilian maté he loved and prepared the eggs and bacon. Giving him a fork I sat down next to him and lowered my head on his shoulder. His hand found my long curls and he massaged my scalp. “Have I ever told you how much you mean to me?” Viggo asked out of the blue lifting my head.
“Yeah, you have. But there’s no shame repeating it.”
Normally in a situation like that he would have voiced it out but now he showed me his true feelings with his eyes and expressions. I knew them by heart of course, but somehow they felt new, like I hadn’t ever heard him say he loved me before in my life.
“I love you, Vig.”
I pressed my forehead against his and blindly sought out his fork. Not finding it I took a slice of bacon from the plate and brought it to his lips. The expression in his eyes when he closed his lips around my fingers was of gratitude that I was fighting hard for him, no matter my fragile state, and that he knows we will go through with this together.
XXXXXXXXXX
SHATTERING PART 3: HOPE IS KINDLED (Orlando’s POV)
Friday evening, 8:27 PM
Now back to the phone call I mentioned earlier.
We both were watching TV when our phone rang. “I’ll take it!” I said and went to answer the phone. All color must have drained out of my face when the person on the other end introduced himself. It was Viggo’s doctor. “Vig! It’s your doctor!” I said a little louder covering the phone with my hand.
We both stood side by side in the hallway listening to what the doctor had to say. My hands were shaking by the time we heard the verdict.
“We’ve made a thorough analysis now, with the best neurologists I could find and... We’ve put your case in class 1...”
“Wh...What does it mean...class 1?” I asked my voice husky.
“It means that Viggo’s case is important, that...in about a week a request to arrive in here will arrive. This is urgent. We still don’t know what it actually is. We’ve put it in the category of malignant tumors, the need for immediate care but that’s the normal procedure.”
By the time the doctor had finished I was leaning against the wall feeling the nausea taking my body over. Viggo wasn't reacting at all.
The doctor kept soothing us both and with a smile in his voice he ended the call. I held the phone in my hand for God knows how long staring at Viggo, frozen in place.
Viggo was the only one able to sleep that night.
XXXXX
It took nearly two weeks when Viggo’s surgery was scheduled. His doctor apologised profusely for promising something he couldn’t keep and explained there were an exceptionally large number of acute cases they had to take care of. Viggo’s health wouldn’t change if he had to wait a little longer.
The day when Viggo was admitted in was Wednesday. There needed a blood test to be taken and another quick MRI scan before he could go to the ward at noon. I had a photo call at 10:30 and I was determined to go to the hospital with him.
There we were, in a private room with two beds, talking and having as good a time as we could. No matter how hard we tried the situation found its way into either mine or Viggo’s thoughts.
“We will be fine, trust me!” I said. He looked at me with his puppy dog eyes and the look in them was one of disbelief. “I will not lose this fight. You are my king, Viggo. I will do anything and everything to see that the good will win.”
He was still looking at me with that same look in his eyes. It was breaking my heart to see him so down, so broken.
What tore me apart were the next quiet but hoarse words falling from his lips. “Hold me?”
I held him, until he fell asleep. I took a chair for myself, placed it beside his bed and sat there through the night, holding his hand.
The next morning I offered a weak smile to the nurses coming into wake us up, give Viggo some meds and take him to the theater. Now it was time.
I followed close by and reluctantly sat down outside the operating room. It was 9:34 AM on Thursday morning. I should have known I can’t do that. It didn’t take long for me to start pacing the hallway biting my nails.
I had really lost the track of time when the pendulum doors leading to the theater opened and the neurosurgeon walked out. “Mr. Bloom, I assume.”
“Yes...” I answered standing up and grabbing the offered hand.
“I am Dr. Davis, the one doing the surgery. I sent a biopsy to the pathologist and the result has come back.”
“Yes?” I asked, afraid that the worst has happened.
“What we found turned out to be a hemangioblastoma, a benign tumor composed of hemangioblasts, a type of stem cells that normally give rise to blood vessels or blood cells. I was able to get it out completely. My team is closing the wound now. This just is a habit of mine to personally tell the news to the closest relative myself,” the doctor smiled.
“Thank you, Mr. Davis. Thank you so much,” I said, tears spilling out of my eyes.
“I was only doing my job, Mr. Bloom. Have a pleasant day.” The doctor excused himself and all I could do was nod.
I dug my phone out of my pocket in a daze and called Viggo’s parents, Henry and Christine, our friends. By the time I had made the last call I was exhausted and wanted nothing more than sleep a little.
XXXXX
For twenty hours Viggo had been unconscious, first in Intensive Care Unit, then in a closely monitored room and lastly in the recovery room. There he finally woke up at about 5:30 AM on a Friday morning. He was feeling odd and kept drowsing for a few hours.
The next time he woke up and was able to keep his eyes open for more than a minute he was met by a pair of familiar brown eyes. My eyes. “I know your face...,” he croaked.
Even that small sentence brought a smile on my face. “Hey there, stranger. Welcome back.”
“What’s the...?” Viggo’s mouth was closed by my gentle finger pressed on his lips.
“Everything went fine. Dr. Davis was able to get it out completely. It was benign. You will make a full recovery,” I told him.
A smile spread on his face just seconds before he fell asleep.
XXXXXXXXXX
SHATTERING PART 4: THIS IS HOW IT ENDS (Viggo’s POV) FINAL PART!!!
Viggo’s POV
A soft knock on the door woke both of us up. Dr. Davis peeked in with a smile on his face. “How are you feeling today?” he asked.
I quickly glanced at Orlando rubbing his eyes before meeting Dr. Davis’ eyes. “Head hurts.” I told him squeezing my eyes shut as I tried to push myself into a better position. That hurt too.
“That’s to be expected, Mr. Mortensen. Now, about why I came in. I’m here to tell you about the events that took place from the moment you were anesthetized on to where you are now.”
I listened to him telling me everything and strong relief was flooding inside me. I would get back the ability to feel. All the unexplainable falls had an explanation. And on top of everything, Dr. Davis advised me to start walking as soon as possible.
I patiently waited for him to leave before I let out the breath I was holding. It came out shuddering even though I wished I could have been more composed. Tears were burning in my eyes but I refused to let them roll down. Or I tried, anyway.
I lay here watching Orlando who had leant against the windowsill and was looking at the parking lot outside. He looked so beautiful, his gorgeous face lit by the sunlight, hair tousled from sleeping.
XXXXX
I am so glad I am alive to see this. Orlando turns to look at me and his trademark megawatt smile spreads on his face. He holds out his hand and asks if I’m ready.
Instead of answering I push the cover aside and hop down. With a small push I’m standing on my own two feet again. The experience is both exhilarating and confusing because after everything, I am standing on my own, without the fear of being paralyzed, and yet I can’t really feel my legs.
I take the first step and I don’t know why but soon I find myself in Orlando’s strong arms. He tells me I stepped on my own foot and lost my balance. I let out a chuckle and hug him.
How I love this feeling of being right where I am.
XXXXX
A week later at home
I slip outside while Orlando is showering. What I’m about to do tonight is something I’ve been planning on for days now. Some may call this a spur of the moment kind of thing but for me this is important.
The time I spent in the hospital and the days before the operation was an eye-opener for me. I had believed my life was complete, that we were safe as long as we loved each other, but once again I was reminded of how easily a human life can be swept away. I have built a life with Orlando and I intend to keep it.
I light the candles on the lawn before walking back inside. Orlando must not know about my quick visit outside. I then set the table. “Supper’s ready!” I call and instead of receiving a verbal answer I get a hot body wrapped around me and a pair of lips on the skin on my neck.
“I could smell all this to the bathroom. What’s the special occasion since you are spoiling me rotten?”
“Patience, Orli. I’ll get to that eventually. First we sit down and have this supper. Then you can ask me about this again.”
I have to admit I can’t keep my eyes off of him. The long wet hair hanging loose framing his face. He just smiles at me and says how tasty the supper is. Right now I wish I could reach over the table and kiss him to keep those compliments at bay. But I can’t.
We finish our meal in companionable silence staring at each other smiles on our faces. I know by the look in his eyes he wants to ask me why I had put such an effort to a simple supper.
I down the remainders of my ice tea and just when I manage to put the glass back down he asks the question. “Now we are finished so... Please tell me what this was for.” His voice is soft and calm but the exuberant young man I met years ago is evidently bubbling inside.
“Well, there really is a reason for all of this. You see, I’ve done a lot of thinking lately...” I started standing up and walking to him. I extended my hand to him before I continued. “We’ve been together for years, we are out and everybody knows we love each other.” I pull Orlando in my arms and slightly away from the dining table. “It’s not a secret, never really has been. I’ve seen, recently, how strong you are, how much you are willing to sacrifice for me. I am so grateful to everything you’ve done. Despite the weak moments you rose back to your feet gritting your teeth and kept repeating we’d pull through everything. At times I couldn’t really see that happening but you kept keeping me up with what little strength you had left. I admire that in you. Your unfailing persistence, your belief in me.” I continue my monolog and he listens to me intently. We dance towards the stairs, keep on dancing to the tune in my head until we’ve reached the balcony. “I really can’t express my feelings to you the way I mean them. That’s why I wish you’d peek over the railing.”
My poor heart was thumping like mad in my chest as Orlando looked at me questioningly before obeying. A loud gasp filled the air. He was staring at my latest creation, eyes shining from unshed tears. “Oh, Vig...” he murmurs brokenly unable to do anything else but stare.
I wrap myself around him and gently press my chin on his shoulder. There it is, probably the greatest piece of art I’ve ever done, laid out on the yard. Dozens of lit candles form a small question.
Orlando sniffles and leans more against me. He turns around in my arms and looks at me with teary eyes. We do the trademark head butt, press our foreheads together and look at each other.
He tilts his head and grabs my collar pulling me into a fiery kiss. I can feel my knees weakening by the force of it.
Then he pulls free. ‘Yes’ he whispers the words ghosting over my lips before I am plundered into another just as passionate kiss. I guess all the secretly bottled up emotions finally break the barriers and we both start crying.
But the tears are definitely of happiness.
The End.
TITLE: Shattering
AUTHOR: obvmluver
PAIRING: Viggo/Orlando
RATING: G - PG13 (I think)
WARNINGS: Doesn't have any really
SUMMARY: Viggo and Orlando find something terrible out. Will they be able to make it through?
DISCLAIMER: This is based on a real life experience...
BETA: The one and only... The Wonderful willys_digs
A/N: This banner was made by a dear friend of mine.
PART 1: SHATTERING (Orlando’s POV)
One rainy Friday evening.
The call I had been afraid of came at 8:27 PM. Before I get into detail about that call I better tell you where this all started.
For years Viggo had suffered from unexplainable loss of balance from time to time. It wasn’t something we thought would be severe. He had a low blood pressure and we always thought those two had to be related. Until he started losing the feeling of his left leg. First it all pointed to a nerve being in pressure. With good meds for neuralgia the inevitable pain stayed away and the numbness lessened. We already thought that was it, that we had managed to win that crippling pain and loud cursing it would bring with it. My God we were wrong.
The numbness started to rise slowly edging towards his left armpit. My concerns woke immediately. Something had to be terribly wrong with him. We contacted Viggo’s doctor who then contacted the state’s best neurologist. All symptoms pointed to Viggo having something wrong in his neural system up in bulbus area. At that time I didn’t know what it meant.
This neurologist said there needed to be taken an MRI scan as soon as possible. At that point I was scared shitless. The speed Viggo was taken in for the scan and all made me constantly feel sick. Now, I felt like I was losing my mind. I wasn’t prepared to go through anything like this when we both discovered we wanted to be more than friends.
The results of the scan came quickly and we got the light analysis no long afterwards. In Viggo’s spinal cord slightly to the left, right under the bulbus, was a pea-sized tumor pressuring the important nerves of his whole left side. The reason for his weird symptoms had been found.
The next step we had to take was to talk it through. First we called to our closest friends and then to Christine and Henry to let them know what had happened and how we were going to proceed from now on. And then we had to talk, just the two of us.
We went outside into the rain. I searched for his hand and soon he gripped it turning to me and admitted he was scared. Right then I knew I had to be the strong part of the two. It was an overwhelming feeling since Viggo had always been supporting me in everything. All I could do was nod and say it was only human to be scared and that we were going to pull it through no matter how impossible it seemed.
There were many possibilities what might happen. Viggo might pull through the surgery with flying colours the tumor being benign. Or he could pull through the surgery well but the tumor could be malignant and he’d need chemotherapy and cytostatics. Or then he could be paralysed forever or he could die. No one could tell what the chances were to survive as the winner. Silently we had to prepare for the worst no matter how much we needed to keep the champion atmosphere on.
We both grew silent then and it didn’t take long for the hiccupping sobs starting to fall from his lips. I enveloped him into my arms and kept whispering soothing words to his ears. It was the first time I had seen a grown man break down into an uncontrollable cry. Of course we both knew the tumor was not Viggo’s fault in any way and that he could do nothing to make it go away. But still, a pea-sized little thing was able to stop the world turning.
To go through everything was both physically and emotionally draining. It sucked most of the energy out of Viggo. Slowly the pouring rain started to feel cold as it reached our skin through our clothes. Viggo being exhausted started shivering so I took him back in to rid him of the soaked clothes, dry him up and change him into a fresh pair of boxers. I knew he could have done all that himself but on my insistence he let me do the work.
I did much the same to myself after I had gotten Viggo under the covers. Then I took my place beside him on the bed and pushed myself up on my side. I ran my fingertips along his temple and hair looking deep in his eyes. He had stopped crying but fear was evident in his blue eyes. He then took my hand in his gently and kissed my knuckles. I offered him a weak smile and encouraged him to close his eyes and get some sleep.
I watched him fall asleep, the wrinkles and lines on his face soften, before I got up and slowly walked out of the bedroom. I carefully closed the door and leaned against it. That’s when I fell to my knees and let myself shatter into million little pieces.
XXXXXXXXXX
SHATTERING PART 2: AN ATTEMPT TO COPE (Orlando’s POV)
”Orli… Wake up sweetie.”
“Huh…What?”
“What are you doing here sleeping on the floor?”
“What time is it?”
“A little past seven.”
“Oh...” I stood up shakily and looked at Viggo. “I, uh... I... “ Silence fell between us but a flood of words from me ended that. “I’m scared, Vig. My mind was like a hurricane last night. It still is. Little things from here and there, reminders of you, happy times, are all a mess I can’t figure out. So... I... guess I broke down and cried myself to sleep.” I shrugged then. “I never knew I’d have to go through something like this. I know you didn’t either. It’s just... This is breaking me, Vig. I feel like I’m not strong enough to keep the spirits up, support you, support myself, and yet I have to prepare for the worst. I feel like I’m losing it. One minute I’m happy, laughing and smiling, the next I’m in tears. I only have to look at your peaceful face and I break down. And I can’t seem to stop. Last night I felt like I was keeping the walls up alone. I just... I’m not ready to lose you. I’m not. I’m not. I’m not.”
Another small silence fell upon us.
“Oh dear God...” I said my voice cracking. I squeezed my eyes shut and covered my mouth with my hand. Dropping my head,my shoulders started shaking and I leaned against the wall for support. “I’m sorry...” I said with a husky voice. “I shouldn’t be doing this. Not in front of you...” Clearing my throat a few times and wiping my watery eyes I looked up into Viggo’s eyes again. They had tears in them too, caught in the lashes. They shimmered in the faint morning light like pearls.
The pain inside me was evident. Viggo, being a perceptive person, saw that through my eyes. Sometimes it was a bad thing that he was able to read me like an open book. His jaw was trembling and he closed his eyes only to gently pull me in his arms and nuzzle my neck. I had always found a great amount of support doing that so I did the same thing.
Slowly I searched for his arms that he kept loosely in his pockets and I guided them around my waist. He grabbed the hem of my shirt in a fierce grasp letting out a sad and small moaning sound. I tried to wind my own arms around him as protectively as I could, as I knew how, and stayed there, my nose buried in his hair, his nose buried in mine.
We stayed there for what seemed like an eternity. I pulled back a little, sniffling. “Okay. I think it’s time for breakfast. British bacon and eggs as usual?”
Viggo then looked at me and all he could do was pull me in and give me a warm kiss. I probably hit too close to home by knowing exactly how he preferred his breakfast. Normally we never paid much attention to things like this but now, knowing the circumstances, everything was different. I cradled his face with my hands looking deeply in his eyes. “Bacon and eggs it is.”
We slowly made our way to the kitchen as we didn’t want to break the close connection we had. Viggo kept stealing little kisses from me, as if to memorise every detail in me once again, all the way through.
I pulled a chair for Viggo to sit on and then reluctantly letting go of him. It was a weird feeling I had when I realized Viggo wasn’t willing to break it. With his toes attached to my Achilles’ heel he sat there and waited. It was important to both of us.
I set the table in front of him; made the Brazilian maté he loved and prepared the eggs and bacon. Giving him a fork I sat down next to him and lowered my head on his shoulder. His hand found my long curls and he massaged my scalp. “Have I ever told you how much you mean to me?” Viggo asked out of the blue lifting my head.
“Yeah, you have. But there’s no shame repeating it.”
Normally in a situation like that he would have voiced it out but now he showed me his true feelings with his eyes and expressions. I knew them by heart of course, but somehow they felt new, like I hadn’t ever heard him say he loved me before in my life.
“I love you, Vig.”
I pressed my forehead against his and blindly sought out his fork. Not finding it I took a slice of bacon from the plate and brought it to his lips. The expression in his eyes when he closed his lips around my fingers was of gratitude that I was fighting hard for him, no matter my fragile state, and that he knows we will go through with this together.
XXXXXXXXXX
SHATTERING PART 3: HOPE IS KINDLED (Orlando’s POV)
Friday evening, 8:27 PM
Now back to the phone call I mentioned earlier.
We both were watching TV when our phone rang. “I’ll take it!” I said and went to answer the phone. All color must have drained out of my face when the person on the other end introduced himself. It was Viggo’s doctor. “Vig! It’s your doctor!” I said a little louder covering the phone with my hand.
We both stood side by side in the hallway listening to what the doctor had to say. My hands were shaking by the time we heard the verdict.
“We’ve made a thorough analysis now, with the best neurologists I could find and... We’ve put your case in class 1...”
“Wh...What does it mean...class 1?” I asked my voice husky.
“It means that Viggo’s case is important, that...in about a week a request to arrive in here will arrive. This is urgent. We still don’t know what it actually is. We’ve put it in the category of malignant tumors, the need for immediate care but that’s the normal procedure.”
By the time the doctor had finished I was leaning against the wall feeling the nausea taking my body over. Viggo wasn't reacting at all.
The doctor kept soothing us both and with a smile in his voice he ended the call. I held the phone in my hand for God knows how long staring at Viggo, frozen in place.
Viggo was the only one able to sleep that night.
XXXXX
It took nearly two weeks when Viggo’s surgery was scheduled. His doctor apologised profusely for promising something he couldn’t keep and explained there were an exceptionally large number of acute cases they had to take care of. Viggo’s health wouldn’t change if he had to wait a little longer.
The day when Viggo was admitted in was Wednesday. There needed a blood test to be taken and another quick MRI scan before he could go to the ward at noon. I had a photo call at 10:30 and I was determined to go to the hospital with him.
There we were, in a private room with two beds, talking and having as good a time as we could. No matter how hard we tried the situation found its way into either mine or Viggo’s thoughts.
“We will be fine, trust me!” I said. He looked at me with his puppy dog eyes and the look in them was one of disbelief. “I will not lose this fight. You are my king, Viggo. I will do anything and everything to see that the good will win.”
He was still looking at me with that same look in his eyes. It was breaking my heart to see him so down, so broken.
What tore me apart were the next quiet but hoarse words falling from his lips. “Hold me?”
I held him, until he fell asleep. I took a chair for myself, placed it beside his bed and sat there through the night, holding his hand.
The next morning I offered a weak smile to the nurses coming into wake us up, give Viggo some meds and take him to the theater. Now it was time.
I followed close by and reluctantly sat down outside the operating room. It was 9:34 AM on Thursday morning. I should have known I can’t do that. It didn’t take long for me to start pacing the hallway biting my nails.
I had really lost the track of time when the pendulum doors leading to the theater opened and the neurosurgeon walked out. “Mr. Bloom, I assume.”
“Yes...” I answered standing up and grabbing the offered hand.
“I am Dr. Davis, the one doing the surgery. I sent a biopsy to the pathologist and the result has come back.”
“Yes?” I asked, afraid that the worst has happened.
“What we found turned out to be a hemangioblastoma, a benign tumor composed of hemangioblasts, a type of stem cells that normally give rise to blood vessels or blood cells. I was able to get it out completely. My team is closing the wound now. This just is a habit of mine to personally tell the news to the closest relative myself,” the doctor smiled.
“Thank you, Mr. Davis. Thank you so much,” I said, tears spilling out of my eyes.
“I was only doing my job, Mr. Bloom. Have a pleasant day.” The doctor excused himself and all I could do was nod.
I dug my phone out of my pocket in a daze and called Viggo’s parents, Henry and Christine, our friends. By the time I had made the last call I was exhausted and wanted nothing more than sleep a little.
XXXXX
For twenty hours Viggo had been unconscious, first in Intensive Care Unit, then in a closely monitored room and lastly in the recovery room. There he finally woke up at about 5:30 AM on a Friday morning. He was feeling odd and kept drowsing for a few hours.
The next time he woke up and was able to keep his eyes open for more than a minute he was met by a pair of familiar brown eyes. My eyes. “I know your face...,” he croaked.
Even that small sentence brought a smile on my face. “Hey there, stranger. Welcome back.”
“What’s the...?” Viggo’s mouth was closed by my gentle finger pressed on his lips.
“Everything went fine. Dr. Davis was able to get it out completely. It was benign. You will make a full recovery,” I told him.
A smile spread on his face just seconds before he fell asleep.
XXXXXXXXXX
SHATTERING PART 4: THIS IS HOW IT ENDS (Viggo’s POV) FINAL PART!!!
Viggo’s POV
A soft knock on the door woke both of us up. Dr. Davis peeked in with a smile on his face. “How are you feeling today?” he asked.
I quickly glanced at Orlando rubbing his eyes before meeting Dr. Davis’ eyes. “Head hurts.” I told him squeezing my eyes shut as I tried to push myself into a better position. That hurt too.
“That’s to be expected, Mr. Mortensen. Now, about why I came in. I’m here to tell you about the events that took place from the moment you were anesthetized on to where you are now.”
I listened to him telling me everything and strong relief was flooding inside me. I would get back the ability to feel. All the unexplainable falls had an explanation. And on top of everything, Dr. Davis advised me to start walking as soon as possible.
I patiently waited for him to leave before I let out the breath I was holding. It came out shuddering even though I wished I could have been more composed. Tears were burning in my eyes but I refused to let them roll down. Or I tried, anyway.
I lay here watching Orlando who had leant against the windowsill and was looking at the parking lot outside. He looked so beautiful, his gorgeous face lit by the sunlight, hair tousled from sleeping.
XXXXX
I am so glad I am alive to see this. Orlando turns to look at me and his trademark megawatt smile spreads on his face. He holds out his hand and asks if I’m ready.
Instead of answering I push the cover aside and hop down. With a small push I’m standing on my own two feet again. The experience is both exhilarating and confusing because after everything, I am standing on my own, without the fear of being paralyzed, and yet I can’t really feel my legs.
I take the first step and I don’t know why but soon I find myself in Orlando’s strong arms. He tells me I stepped on my own foot and lost my balance. I let out a chuckle and hug him.
How I love this feeling of being right where I am.
XXXXX
A week later at home
I slip outside while Orlando is showering. What I’m about to do tonight is something I’ve been planning on for days now. Some may call this a spur of the moment kind of thing but for me this is important.
The time I spent in the hospital and the days before the operation was an eye-opener for me. I had believed my life was complete, that we were safe as long as we loved each other, but once again I was reminded of how easily a human life can be swept away. I have built a life with Orlando and I intend to keep it.
I light the candles on the lawn before walking back inside. Orlando must not know about my quick visit outside. I then set the table. “Supper’s ready!” I call and instead of receiving a verbal answer I get a hot body wrapped around me and a pair of lips on the skin on my neck.
“I could smell all this to the bathroom. What’s the special occasion since you are spoiling me rotten?”
“Patience, Orli. I’ll get to that eventually. First we sit down and have this supper. Then you can ask me about this again.”
I have to admit I can’t keep my eyes off of him. The long wet hair hanging loose framing his face. He just smiles at me and says how tasty the supper is. Right now I wish I could reach over the table and kiss him to keep those compliments at bay. But I can’t.
We finish our meal in companionable silence staring at each other smiles on our faces. I know by the look in his eyes he wants to ask me why I had put such an effort to a simple supper.
I down the remainders of my ice tea and just when I manage to put the glass back down he asks the question. “Now we are finished so... Please tell me what this was for.” His voice is soft and calm but the exuberant young man I met years ago is evidently bubbling inside.
“Well, there really is a reason for all of this. You see, I’ve done a lot of thinking lately...” I started standing up and walking to him. I extended my hand to him before I continued. “We’ve been together for years, we are out and everybody knows we love each other.” I pull Orlando in my arms and slightly away from the dining table. “It’s not a secret, never really has been. I’ve seen, recently, how strong you are, how much you are willing to sacrifice for me. I am so grateful to everything you’ve done. Despite the weak moments you rose back to your feet gritting your teeth and kept repeating we’d pull through everything. At times I couldn’t really see that happening but you kept keeping me up with what little strength you had left. I admire that in you. Your unfailing persistence, your belief in me.” I continue my monolog and he listens to me intently. We dance towards the stairs, keep on dancing to the tune in my head until we’ve reached the balcony. “I really can’t express my feelings to you the way I mean them. That’s why I wish you’d peek over the railing.”
My poor heart was thumping like mad in my chest as Orlando looked at me questioningly before obeying. A loud gasp filled the air. He was staring at my latest creation, eyes shining from unshed tears. “Oh, Vig...” he murmurs brokenly unable to do anything else but stare.
I wrap myself around him and gently press my chin on his shoulder. There it is, probably the greatest piece of art I’ve ever done, laid out on the yard. Dozens of lit candles form a small question.
Orlando sniffles and leans more against me. He turns around in my arms and looks at me with teary eyes. We do the trademark head butt, press our foreheads together and look at each other.
He tilts his head and grabs my collar pulling me into a fiery kiss. I can feel my knees weakening by the force of it.
Then he pulls free. ‘Yes’ he whispers the words ghosting over my lips before I am plundered into another just as passionate kiss. I guess all the secretly bottled up emotions finally break the barriers and we both start crying.
But the tears are definitely of happiness.
The End.
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Date: 2007-07-26 11:35 am (UTC)Shattering is what happens when you go through something like this. With every decision, every doctor's appointment and with every discovery within yourself. good or bad.......but there's also picking up, finding strength you didn't know you had......and going on and dealing.....beautifull! Very well done!!!
Thank you so much for sharing, hugs and kisses!!