Waking Nightmare Chapter Ten -Stay
Dec. 10th, 2006 06:07 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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vigorliTitle: Waking Nightmare
Author: Greenleaf
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: OB/VM
Summary: Strange things are happening to Orlando. At first he thinks it is just a joke of his friends, but things start to get even scarier with time and he painfully experiences, that this weren't jokes.......
Will Viggo be able to help him after his waking nightmare?
*Warnings* Angst, Violence, Rape
Feedback: Yes pleaaaaaaaaaaaase *holds up starving author sign* I love feedback even more than getting presents
Disclaimer: None of them belongs to me (sadly), nothing of this did really happen
Beta: The wonderful and awesome![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
slashfairy. Thank you *hug*
Beta-Therapist:raptureinbloom thanks *hug*
I want to take his eyes out
Just for looking at you
Yes I do
I want to take his hands off
Just for touching you
Yes I do
And I want to rip his heart out
Just for hurting you
And I want to break his mind down
Yes I do
And I want to make him
Regret life since the day he met you
Yes I do
And I want to make him
Take back all that he took from you
Yes I do
Chapter Ten
Viggo stared at the closed door for some seconds before he turned around and took a seat in the nearby waiting room. But he couldn’t sit still for long and started to walk around. He felt uncomfortable; guilt lay heavy upon his shoulders. He couldn’t offer much to Orlando except being there for him, caring for him but it didn’t seem enough. He wanted to help but didn’t know how. There were so many thoughts trapped in his mind, too many emotions fighting within his body and pressing down on him. He couldn’t find relief or peace.
Only a few metres away Orlando took a seat on the examination table again, nervously picking at the hem of the pullover. It was one of Viggo’s and too big for the Brit but he didn’t care. Although Peter had brought over Orlando’s stuff he had put on this pullover because it gave him a slight feeling of warmth and held Viggo’s unique scent. Through all the confusion, pain, and angst he still knew deep within that he felt safe around Viggo even though he feared the older man considered him weak and unlovable.
“Do you want some coffee or tea Orlando?” Lenoir asked after taking a sip of his own mug of coffee.
Orlando looked up as if startled that the man had spoken to him before he shook his head no.
“Alright, excuse me but I really do need some since I had the night shift.” The doctor smiled before taking another sip. He was relieved; his decision to send Orlando home with Viggo seemed to have been right. Of course the young man was far from being okay but he was not apathetic and that was important. It was very hard to bring someone back if he had already sunk into depression and refused to leave the safe imaginary world he had built for himself.
“How are the injuries doing? Did you apply the ointment?”
This time Orlando nodded but didn’t take his eyes of the floor or stopped playing with the hem of the pullover.
“They are okay I guess.” He answered quietly. In fact he was still very sore, each cut twitching and burning when he made a wrong move or lay down but the pain was a bit of relief for his inner hurt.
“That’s good; I’ll just have a quick look over them. Are the pain killers I gave you strong enough?”
Orlando nodded although he had only taken one of the painkillers after they came home from the hospital. He was already so numb he didn’t want to lose any more feeling.
Lenoir nodded again and put the mug of coffee back on his table.
“Would you please take off the pullover?”
Orlando tensed more although he had known that this would come. He took the jumper off slowly but still held it in his hands as if clinging to the last bit of safety he had here. Lenoir let him and carefully took the bandages off to check the wounds.
“You and Viggo are getting along?”
“Mhm…” Orlando nodded absent-mindedly. The hands upon his skin were unpleasant.
“Seems that everything is healing pretty well. Do the wounds still hurt much?”
Lenoir wanted to keep Orlando occupied.
“No, it’s okay.”
In truth Orlando simply didn’t pay attention if his wounds ached or not. Lenoir knew that Orlando wasn’t telling the truth but he let the young man be. As long as he was talking it was good.
“Fine. You can put the pullover back on but take your trousers off in turn please.”
This was going to be the most uncomfortable part for Orlando but Lenoir thought that it might help a bit if the man was at least wearing something, in this case the pullover, and was not completely exposed.
Orlando swallowed hard. He had hoped that they’d skip this part although he knew that this hope wouldn’t come true. He pulled the pullover on again quickly as if hiding in the fabric while the jeans came off very slowly.
“Lie on your stomach please.”
Orlando did as the doctor asked but closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against his forearm. His fingers were fiddling with the hem of the jumper again. He could already feel tears welling up in his eyes. The humiliation didn’t seem to end.
“Do you already know where you will spend Christmas?”
Lenoir’s question startled the young man and he turned his head a bit sideways, eyebrows raised.
“What?” Christmas was five months away.
Lenoir just smiled because he had attained exactly what he wanted; the random question distracted Orlando from the examination.
“Yeah I mean you can never think of Christmas early enough. Will you stay here or celebrate with your family?”
“I…I don’t know yet.” Orlando was still startled.
“Oh you should think about it you know? I already have bought a Christmas present for my daughter.”
Orlando didn’t know where he wanted to spend Christmas; it was so far away and unimportant like ever other thing. His family wouldn’t want him back and he didn’t want to bother his friends because they surely wouldn’t want him either. And he did already bother Viggo too much so he hadn’t really an option. Christmas was really so far away and everything it brought with it scared Orlando. Presents, parties, all these things he had once loved and was now not sure of being able to do anymore. He didn’t want to think about it.
“How old is your daughter?” Orlando asked voice muffled because his face was still half hidden in the sleeve of the pullover.
“Angelina is ten. She loves ‘The Hobbit’ you know? My brother bought her the book last year because she likes to read and now that she heard that ‘The Lord of the Rings’ is filming here she is all crazy about it. Though I think the movie is a bit too brutal for her. You know the hobbit is a nice children’s book and the Lord of the Rings doesn’t seem that child friendly I guess.”
Orlando nodded slightly, without knowing it he let himself be distracted by the conversation.
“By the time the movies come out she’ll be some years older though.”
“Yes but you know how children are. She is torturing me all the time now to tell her when that movie will be finally out and everything.”
Despite his current condition Orlando had to smile slightly.
“Why don’t you visit the set with her if she’s so curious about all that?” Orlando asked shyly. He had not thought about working again and stubbornly kept that thought from his mind.
“Would that be possible?” Lenoir asked interested.
“I guess so, as long as you don’t show up with a whole kindergarten.” Orlando caught himself really thinking about that possibility.
“Well that might be nice, I’ll come back to that offer but for now you are released from that my babbling. We are done, you can dress yourself again.”
For the second time within minutes Orlando was startled. He had barely realized that the doctor had examined him. So after all it hadn’t been that bad. Nonetheless he put his trousers on in haste while Lenoir scribbled down some notes. Unsure of what to do Orlando hugged himself and stared at the floor.
“So we are done here but I want you and Viggo to see a good friend of mine who works here. He’s a very nice guy and I think you should talk to him. Nothing big today, just a bit of talking so you get to know him and see if you are comfortable with him. If that’s the case you might make a real appointment with him.”
Orlando swallowed hard. So they were actually sending him to a therapist.
“I’m not crazy you know?” He murmured, barely auditable.
“I know that you are not Orlando and no one is saying that. It’s just…you know sometimes it helps to talk. No one will force you I just would be glad if you’d consider this option and see how it is. You can always say no afterwards.”
It wouldn’t be good if Orlando actually said no but Lenoir knew that forcing a patient and telling him that he must see a therapist was the worst thing to do.
Orlando nodded slightly. Well, he would go there and get it over but he was sure that he wouldn’t make another appointment. He was not crazy and no one could understand how he felt anyways so why should he visit a therapist?
“Fine. Come on I’ll show you and Viggo the way.”
Lenoir opened the door and waited for Orlando to leave the room before he closed it behind them. It wasn’t difficult to find Viggo. In fact as soon as the door had opened he was back at Orlando’s side in an instant.
“Everything alright?”
Orlando looked at Viggo for a few seconds before he gazed at the floor again, nodding.
“Oh yes. The injuries are healing pretty well. I’ll just take the two of you to Harry, a friend of mine.”
Viggo nodded absent-mindedly, looking at Orlando as if to check for himself that nothing has happened to the younger one.
Lenoir led them to another department of the hospital and finally stopped in front of a door reading the name “Harry Remker”.
“So here we are. Just a second, I’ll tell him that you are here.” Lenoir smiled at the two men before he knocked on the door and entered.
They stood there in silence for some seconds.
“Vig?”
“Yes?” Viggo looked at Orlando but the younger one still gazed at the floor.
“I…don’t…leave me alone in there. Please?”
Viggo smiled gently although the fear in Orlando’s voice hurt.
“I will never leave you, I already told you that angel. I promise you, I won’t leave you. One day you’ll be sick of having me at your side.” He added; smile a bit brighter when he saw that a tiny smile also crept onto Orlando’s face.
“No…I will never be sick of you but...” Orlando didn’t finish his sentence because it hurt. Viggo’s words were lies. He would leave because he would be the one getting sick of Orlando. The thought saddened Orlando even more but when the door opened his train of thought was interrupted.
“Orlando, Viggo you can go in now.” Lenoir smiled reassuringly at both men.
“I’ll see you around.”
Orlando swallowed hard when he looked at the opened door. When Viggo saw that he took one deep breath before he gently and carefully took Orlando’s hand reassuringly.
“I won’t leave.” The Dane murmured once more before he pulled Orlando with him into the room.
The room was painted in pastel colours and to Viggo’s surprise it seemed very friendly. The furniture was mostly in dark red and paintings on the walls gave it a good atmosphere. In the corner stood a sofa, a chair, and a small desk with a vase of roses on it. On the other side of the room was a writing cabinet.
“Hey. You must be Orlando and Viggo right?” A small man with black hair and glasses welcomed them, gesturing towards the sofa.
“Take a seat, take a seat.”
Viggo could sense how uncomfortable Orlando still felt and nearly had to drag him over to the sofa. As soon as they were sitting Orlando was in his “usual” position: knees pulled up and arms around them, making himself as small as possible.
Harry sat down on the chair, gazing at the pair.
“I know this must be uncomfortable for the both of you but there is no need to be nervous or anything. All we will do here is talking and that in private and we won’t talk about things you are not ready for yet or don’t want to talk about yet. If you are okay with that I’d like to have you over here twice a week for one hour.”
Viggo nodded slowly before he looked sideways to Orlando. The Brit hadn’t changed his position and wasn’t looking at them.
“Orlando?” Harry asked this time more specific.
“Are you okay with that?”
There was silence for some seconds.
“I…I guess.” Orlando finally murmured.
Harry nodded, his eyes still fixed on the young man.
“Do you want to have Viggo with you or talk with me alone?”
At this words Orlando finally looked up, fear visible in the brown eyes. He didn’t want to be alone; he didn’t want to talk with this man. His gaze wandered to Viggo, silently pleading and terrified all the same. Viggo had promised to stay; promised not to leave and still Orlando feared rejection and abandonment.
Viggo’s eyes locked with the brown ones for seconds before he looked at Harry again.
“I guess it’ll be better if I am with him.”
Orlando’s shoulders sank in relief although he had never realized that he had tensed. Harry didn’t complain. He had thought that it might be better to have Viggo here too. They could always change after some appointments so that he could talk with them separately.
“Alright. So today is Wednesday.” Harry grabbed a scheduler from the table and looked over some pages.
“How about making the first appointment for Friday around 3 pm?” He questioned.
“That’s fine I think.” Viggo answered. It wasn’t as if they had something planned for the near future.
“Great. You guys prefer coffee or tea?” Harry asked while scribbling something in his scheduler.
“Tea.” Viggo answered for them both. Orlando was quite a coffee addict when it came to long days of shooting but he knew that the brunette preferred tea otherwise.
“Okay. I’ll give you my calling card. If you need anything beforehand just call.” Harry leaned forward and gave Viggo a small card. The actor nodded.
“Thanks…anything else?” He wanted to get this over as soon as possible. Orlando seemed spent already.
“No, that’s it for now. You both seem a bit tired anyways.” Harry smiled and said goodbye to them both.
The drive home was spent in silence again but Viggo noticed with relief that Orlando seemed less tense.
“How about getting some pizza?” Viggo asked, looking over at Orlando. He had barely eaten something so far.
Orlando looked up a bit startled.
“Urm…alright.” He wasn’t really hungry but didn’t want to disappoint Viggo either.
So when they parked before Viggo’s house half an hour later they had a vegetarian pizza and a pizza Hawaii with them.
One hour later Orlando had at least eaten two small pieces of his pizza. It was far less than he normally ate but Viggo was glad that he had at least eaten something. Now the Brit played around with a pack of cigarettes restlessly. He hadn’t thought about having a cigarette earlier. He wasn’t a big smoker but when he was nervous cigarettes seemed to calm him in some way or at least gave him something to do. So Orlando took the small pack and went to the door leading to the deck. Viggo watched him with raised eyebrows.
“Where are you going?”
“Just having a smoke.” Orlando answered, his voice low, before he opened the door and stepped outside, drawing a breath of fresh air. He didn’t feel comfortable when he was alone but didn’t want to ask Viggo to accompany him. So he just took one step outside. The doors to the deck were made out of glass so he could still see Viggo and Viggo could see him. This eased Orlando’s tension a bit and he fumbled one of the cigarettes and the lighter out of the pack.
Moments later the cigarette glimmered red in the dim light of the afternoon. Orlando exhaled the smoke with a relieved sigh. His fingers played restlessly with the cigarette while he watched the sun go down on the horizon. Everything around him was quiet and still Orlando couldn’t calm down. He was afraid no matter what and only remained on the deck because he didn’t want to appear weak again, running back into the house because he was paranoid. Viggo was there, Viggo could see him, nothing would happen. Orlando repeated this mantra over and over again, nervously dragged on the cigarette. No he wouldn’t be so childish; he could be on his own at least for a few minutes. He could do this; where was the problem anyways? He had been on his own many times before so why was it so difficult now? Orlando shook his head. This was stupid, really. He couldn’t have Viggo around all the time; the Dane would grow sick of him sooner or later anyways and Orlando didn’t want to provoke it being sooner. So he remained standing there, smoking, and gazing at the horizon. He still doubted that everything would be okay or that he would be able to lead a normal life ever again.
Lost in those thoughts Orlando wasn’t aware of the person slowly approaching behind him.
TBC
Some secrets need to be kept,
Some stories should never be told,
Some reasons shouldn’t be understood
Welcome to the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Atti placed a light kiss on Orlando’s forehead. At the mention of food Orlando realized how hungry he was. It had been over a day since he had had something to eat. With a sigh the young man tried to banish the hunger and cold, and closed his eyes to dream of a better life. A life where he didn’t have to steal and sell himself in order to survive.
But he also knew that Orlando needed so many other things he just couldn’t give him. Everything Atti could do was to be there for Orlando and comfort him whenever he needed it. He couldn’t help Orlando because they were both already lost and falling freely.
What happens when two worlds collide?
Viggo looked up alarmed only to meet coffee brown eyes.
“Oh…I’m sorry.”
When you find out, can you bear the truth?
Viggo gazed at the corner of the street when the traffic light turned red. It took him some seconds before realization hit him.
Somehow Viggo was glad that he didn’t have to witness what was about to happen. What he had seen was disturbing enough.
There is much more hidden in the shadows. Do you dare to find out?
Come Undone.
Spring 2007
Author: Greenleaf
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: OB/VM
Summary: Strange things are happening to Orlando. At first he thinks it is just a joke of his friends, but things start to get even scarier with time and he painfully experiences, that this weren't jokes.......
Will Viggo be able to help him after his waking nightmare?
*Warnings* Angst, Violence, Rape
Feedback: Yes pleaaaaaaaaaaaase *holds up starving author sign* I love feedback even more than getting presents
Disclaimer: None of them belongs to me (sadly), nothing of this did really happen
Beta: The wonderful and awesome
slashfairy. Thank you *hug*Beta-Therapist:
raptureinbloom thanks *hug*I want to take his eyes out
Just for looking at you
Yes I do
I want to take his hands off
Just for touching you
Yes I do
And I want to rip his heart out
Just for hurting you
And I want to break his mind down
Yes I do
And I want to make him
Regret life since the day he met you
Yes I do
And I want to make him
Take back all that he took from you
Yes I do
Chapter Ten
Viggo stared at the closed door for some seconds before he turned around and took a seat in the nearby waiting room. But he couldn’t sit still for long and started to walk around. He felt uncomfortable; guilt lay heavy upon his shoulders. He couldn’t offer much to Orlando except being there for him, caring for him but it didn’t seem enough. He wanted to help but didn’t know how. There were so many thoughts trapped in his mind, too many emotions fighting within his body and pressing down on him. He couldn’t find relief or peace.
Only a few metres away Orlando took a seat on the examination table again, nervously picking at the hem of the pullover. It was one of Viggo’s and too big for the Brit but he didn’t care. Although Peter had brought over Orlando’s stuff he had put on this pullover because it gave him a slight feeling of warmth and held Viggo’s unique scent. Through all the confusion, pain, and angst he still knew deep within that he felt safe around Viggo even though he feared the older man considered him weak and unlovable.
“Do you want some coffee or tea Orlando?” Lenoir asked after taking a sip of his own mug of coffee.
Orlando looked up as if startled that the man had spoken to him before he shook his head no.
“Alright, excuse me but I really do need some since I had the night shift.” The doctor smiled before taking another sip. He was relieved; his decision to send Orlando home with Viggo seemed to have been right. Of course the young man was far from being okay but he was not apathetic and that was important. It was very hard to bring someone back if he had already sunk into depression and refused to leave the safe imaginary world he had built for himself.
“How are the injuries doing? Did you apply the ointment?”
This time Orlando nodded but didn’t take his eyes of the floor or stopped playing with the hem of the pullover.
“They are okay I guess.” He answered quietly. In fact he was still very sore, each cut twitching and burning when he made a wrong move or lay down but the pain was a bit of relief for his inner hurt.
“That’s good; I’ll just have a quick look over them. Are the pain killers I gave you strong enough?”
Orlando nodded although he had only taken one of the painkillers after they came home from the hospital. He was already so numb he didn’t want to lose any more feeling.
Lenoir nodded again and put the mug of coffee back on his table.
“Would you please take off the pullover?”
Orlando tensed more although he had known that this would come. He took the jumper off slowly but still held it in his hands as if clinging to the last bit of safety he had here. Lenoir let him and carefully took the bandages off to check the wounds.
“You and Viggo are getting along?”
“Mhm…” Orlando nodded absent-mindedly. The hands upon his skin were unpleasant.
“Seems that everything is healing pretty well. Do the wounds still hurt much?”
Lenoir wanted to keep Orlando occupied.
“No, it’s okay.”
In truth Orlando simply didn’t pay attention if his wounds ached or not. Lenoir knew that Orlando wasn’t telling the truth but he let the young man be. As long as he was talking it was good.
“Fine. You can put the pullover back on but take your trousers off in turn please.”
This was going to be the most uncomfortable part for Orlando but Lenoir thought that it might help a bit if the man was at least wearing something, in this case the pullover, and was not completely exposed.
Orlando swallowed hard. He had hoped that they’d skip this part although he knew that this hope wouldn’t come true. He pulled the pullover on again quickly as if hiding in the fabric while the jeans came off very slowly.
“Lie on your stomach please.”
Orlando did as the doctor asked but closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against his forearm. His fingers were fiddling with the hem of the jumper again. He could already feel tears welling up in his eyes. The humiliation didn’t seem to end.
“Do you already know where you will spend Christmas?”
Lenoir’s question startled the young man and he turned his head a bit sideways, eyebrows raised.
“What?” Christmas was five months away.
Lenoir just smiled because he had attained exactly what he wanted; the random question distracted Orlando from the examination.
“Yeah I mean you can never think of Christmas early enough. Will you stay here or celebrate with your family?”
“I…I don’t know yet.” Orlando was still startled.
“Oh you should think about it you know? I already have bought a Christmas present for my daughter.”
Orlando didn’t know where he wanted to spend Christmas; it was so far away and unimportant like ever other thing. His family wouldn’t want him back and he didn’t want to bother his friends because they surely wouldn’t want him either. And he did already bother Viggo too much so he hadn’t really an option. Christmas was really so far away and everything it brought with it scared Orlando. Presents, parties, all these things he had once loved and was now not sure of being able to do anymore. He didn’t want to think about it.
“How old is your daughter?” Orlando asked voice muffled because his face was still half hidden in the sleeve of the pullover.
“Angelina is ten. She loves ‘The Hobbit’ you know? My brother bought her the book last year because she likes to read and now that she heard that ‘The Lord of the Rings’ is filming here she is all crazy about it. Though I think the movie is a bit too brutal for her. You know the hobbit is a nice children’s book and the Lord of the Rings doesn’t seem that child friendly I guess.”
Orlando nodded slightly, without knowing it he let himself be distracted by the conversation.
“By the time the movies come out she’ll be some years older though.”
“Yes but you know how children are. She is torturing me all the time now to tell her when that movie will be finally out and everything.”
Despite his current condition Orlando had to smile slightly.
“Why don’t you visit the set with her if she’s so curious about all that?” Orlando asked shyly. He had not thought about working again and stubbornly kept that thought from his mind.
“Would that be possible?” Lenoir asked interested.
“I guess so, as long as you don’t show up with a whole kindergarten.” Orlando caught himself really thinking about that possibility.
“Well that might be nice, I’ll come back to that offer but for now you are released from that my babbling. We are done, you can dress yourself again.”
For the second time within minutes Orlando was startled. He had barely realized that the doctor had examined him. So after all it hadn’t been that bad. Nonetheless he put his trousers on in haste while Lenoir scribbled down some notes. Unsure of what to do Orlando hugged himself and stared at the floor.
“So we are done here but I want you and Viggo to see a good friend of mine who works here. He’s a very nice guy and I think you should talk to him. Nothing big today, just a bit of talking so you get to know him and see if you are comfortable with him. If that’s the case you might make a real appointment with him.”
Orlando swallowed hard. So they were actually sending him to a therapist.
“I’m not crazy you know?” He murmured, barely auditable.
“I know that you are not Orlando and no one is saying that. It’s just…you know sometimes it helps to talk. No one will force you I just would be glad if you’d consider this option and see how it is. You can always say no afterwards.”
It wouldn’t be good if Orlando actually said no but Lenoir knew that forcing a patient and telling him that he must see a therapist was the worst thing to do.
Orlando nodded slightly. Well, he would go there and get it over but he was sure that he wouldn’t make another appointment. He was not crazy and no one could understand how he felt anyways so why should he visit a therapist?
“Fine. Come on I’ll show you and Viggo the way.”
Lenoir opened the door and waited for Orlando to leave the room before he closed it behind them. It wasn’t difficult to find Viggo. In fact as soon as the door had opened he was back at Orlando’s side in an instant.
“Everything alright?”
Orlando looked at Viggo for a few seconds before he gazed at the floor again, nodding.
“Oh yes. The injuries are healing pretty well. I’ll just take the two of you to Harry, a friend of mine.”
Viggo nodded absent-mindedly, looking at Orlando as if to check for himself that nothing has happened to the younger one.
Lenoir led them to another department of the hospital and finally stopped in front of a door reading the name “Harry Remker”.
“So here we are. Just a second, I’ll tell him that you are here.” Lenoir smiled at the two men before he knocked on the door and entered.
They stood there in silence for some seconds.
“Vig?”
“Yes?” Viggo looked at Orlando but the younger one still gazed at the floor.
“I…don’t…leave me alone in there. Please?”
Viggo smiled gently although the fear in Orlando’s voice hurt.
“I will never leave you, I already told you that angel. I promise you, I won’t leave you. One day you’ll be sick of having me at your side.” He added; smile a bit brighter when he saw that a tiny smile also crept onto Orlando’s face.
“No…I will never be sick of you but...” Orlando didn’t finish his sentence because it hurt. Viggo’s words were lies. He would leave because he would be the one getting sick of Orlando. The thought saddened Orlando even more but when the door opened his train of thought was interrupted.
“Orlando, Viggo you can go in now.” Lenoir smiled reassuringly at both men.
“I’ll see you around.”
Orlando swallowed hard when he looked at the opened door. When Viggo saw that he took one deep breath before he gently and carefully took Orlando’s hand reassuringly.
“I won’t leave.” The Dane murmured once more before he pulled Orlando with him into the room.
The room was painted in pastel colours and to Viggo’s surprise it seemed very friendly. The furniture was mostly in dark red and paintings on the walls gave it a good atmosphere. In the corner stood a sofa, a chair, and a small desk with a vase of roses on it. On the other side of the room was a writing cabinet.
“Hey. You must be Orlando and Viggo right?” A small man with black hair and glasses welcomed them, gesturing towards the sofa.
“Take a seat, take a seat.”
Viggo could sense how uncomfortable Orlando still felt and nearly had to drag him over to the sofa. As soon as they were sitting Orlando was in his “usual” position: knees pulled up and arms around them, making himself as small as possible.
Harry sat down on the chair, gazing at the pair.
“I know this must be uncomfortable for the both of you but there is no need to be nervous or anything. All we will do here is talking and that in private and we won’t talk about things you are not ready for yet or don’t want to talk about yet. If you are okay with that I’d like to have you over here twice a week for one hour.”
Viggo nodded slowly before he looked sideways to Orlando. The Brit hadn’t changed his position and wasn’t looking at them.
“Orlando?” Harry asked this time more specific.
“Are you okay with that?”
There was silence for some seconds.
“I…I guess.” Orlando finally murmured.
Harry nodded, his eyes still fixed on the young man.
“Do you want to have Viggo with you or talk with me alone?”
At this words Orlando finally looked up, fear visible in the brown eyes. He didn’t want to be alone; he didn’t want to talk with this man. His gaze wandered to Viggo, silently pleading and terrified all the same. Viggo had promised to stay; promised not to leave and still Orlando feared rejection and abandonment.
Viggo’s eyes locked with the brown ones for seconds before he looked at Harry again.
“I guess it’ll be better if I am with him.”
Orlando’s shoulders sank in relief although he had never realized that he had tensed. Harry didn’t complain. He had thought that it might be better to have Viggo here too. They could always change after some appointments so that he could talk with them separately.
“Alright. So today is Wednesday.” Harry grabbed a scheduler from the table and looked over some pages.
“How about making the first appointment for Friday around 3 pm?” He questioned.
“That’s fine I think.” Viggo answered. It wasn’t as if they had something planned for the near future.
“Great. You guys prefer coffee or tea?” Harry asked while scribbling something in his scheduler.
“Tea.” Viggo answered for them both. Orlando was quite a coffee addict when it came to long days of shooting but he knew that the brunette preferred tea otherwise.
“Okay. I’ll give you my calling card. If you need anything beforehand just call.” Harry leaned forward and gave Viggo a small card. The actor nodded.
“Thanks…anything else?” He wanted to get this over as soon as possible. Orlando seemed spent already.
“No, that’s it for now. You both seem a bit tired anyways.” Harry smiled and said goodbye to them both.
The drive home was spent in silence again but Viggo noticed with relief that Orlando seemed less tense.
“How about getting some pizza?” Viggo asked, looking over at Orlando. He had barely eaten something so far.
Orlando looked up a bit startled.
“Urm…alright.” He wasn’t really hungry but didn’t want to disappoint Viggo either.
So when they parked before Viggo’s house half an hour later they had a vegetarian pizza and a pizza Hawaii with them.
One hour later Orlando had at least eaten two small pieces of his pizza. It was far less than he normally ate but Viggo was glad that he had at least eaten something. Now the Brit played around with a pack of cigarettes restlessly. He hadn’t thought about having a cigarette earlier. He wasn’t a big smoker but when he was nervous cigarettes seemed to calm him in some way or at least gave him something to do. So Orlando took the small pack and went to the door leading to the deck. Viggo watched him with raised eyebrows.
“Where are you going?”
“Just having a smoke.” Orlando answered, his voice low, before he opened the door and stepped outside, drawing a breath of fresh air. He didn’t feel comfortable when he was alone but didn’t want to ask Viggo to accompany him. So he just took one step outside. The doors to the deck were made out of glass so he could still see Viggo and Viggo could see him. This eased Orlando’s tension a bit and he fumbled one of the cigarettes and the lighter out of the pack.
Moments later the cigarette glimmered red in the dim light of the afternoon. Orlando exhaled the smoke with a relieved sigh. His fingers played restlessly with the cigarette while he watched the sun go down on the horizon. Everything around him was quiet and still Orlando couldn’t calm down. He was afraid no matter what and only remained on the deck because he didn’t want to appear weak again, running back into the house because he was paranoid. Viggo was there, Viggo could see him, nothing would happen. Orlando repeated this mantra over and over again, nervously dragged on the cigarette. No he wouldn’t be so childish; he could be on his own at least for a few minutes. He could do this; where was the problem anyways? He had been on his own many times before so why was it so difficult now? Orlando shook his head. This was stupid, really. He couldn’t have Viggo around all the time; the Dane would grow sick of him sooner or later anyways and Orlando didn’t want to provoke it being sooner. So he remained standing there, smoking, and gazing at the horizon. He still doubted that everything would be okay or that he would be able to lead a normal life ever again.
Lost in those thoughts Orlando wasn’t aware of the person slowly approaching behind him.
TBC
Some secrets need to be kept,
Some stories should never be told,
Some reasons shouldn’t be understood
Welcome to the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Atti placed a light kiss on Orlando’s forehead. At the mention of food Orlando realized how hungry he was. It had been over a day since he had had something to eat. With a sigh the young man tried to banish the hunger and cold, and closed his eyes to dream of a better life. A life where he didn’t have to steal and sell himself in order to survive.
But he also knew that Orlando needed so many other things he just couldn’t give him. Everything Atti could do was to be there for Orlando and comfort him whenever he needed it. He couldn’t help Orlando because they were both already lost and falling freely.
What happens when two worlds collide?
Viggo looked up alarmed only to meet coffee brown eyes.
“Oh…I’m sorry.”
When you find out, can you bear the truth?
Viggo gazed at the corner of the street when the traffic light turned red. It took him some seconds before realization hit him.
Somehow Viggo was glad that he didn’t have to witness what was about to happen. What he had seen was disturbing enough.
There is much more hidden in the shadows. Do you dare to find out?
Come Undone.
Spring 2007
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Date: 2006-12-12 04:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-12-12 05:14 pm (UTC)xx