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vigorli2006-11-18 12:11 pm
belle-lestrange.livejournal.com) wrote in vigorli2006-11-18 12:11 pm
Waking Nightmare Chaper Seven
Title: Waking Nightmare
Author: Greenleaf
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: OB/VM
Summary: Strange things are happening to Orlando. At first he thinks it is just a joke of his friends, but things start to get even scarier with time and he painfully experiences, that this weren't jokes.......
Will Viggo be able to help him after his waking nightmare?
*Warnings* Angst, Violence, Rape
Feedback: Yes pleaaaaaaaaaaaase *holds up starving author sign* I live for it
Disclaimer: None of them belongs to me (sadly), nothing of this did really happen
Beta: The wonderful and awesome![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
slashfairy. Thank you *huggles
“Sir! Sir! We found him!“
Viggo felt as if something had hit him straight in the guts. They had found him…”They’ve found Orlando!” Thoughts were spinning through his mind but he could not sort out a single one. There were too many and the only important thing repeatedly hammering in his ears ‘They found him’. But the relief washing over him was short. They’d found him, yes but was he alright? Without further hesitation Viggo ran to the house. When he stood in the hallway he realized that he had no clue where Orlando was. After looking around he just stopped one of the policemen who tried to pass by.
“Where is he?”
“Upstairs sir but I really don’t think that you should-“
Viggo didn’t listen to him. It didn’t matter. He wanted to be with Orlando, he wanted to make sure that the young man was okay. He had longed for him a long time and since Orlando had gone missing the need to gather him in his arms had become overwhelming. Viggo sprinted up the stairs, taking two at one time. It was not really hard to make out where Orlando most likely was. There was only one door open and the Dane entered the room, ignored the policeman in there.
“Orland-“ The name died on his lips before he was fully spoken. Viggo stood frozen in the middle of the room, stared at the bed for some seconds. It was as if suddenly his mind had gone blank. There was not a single thought left, the only thing present the picture before his eyes. It was indeed Orlando lying there in the bed but it was not the Orlando he knew. He seemed so broken, and hid under the blanket like a child. Viggo’s heart ached when he saw tears streaming over the handsome face of the young man. It took some time for him to realize the blood on the other face and the blanket. It made his stomach turn and twist in a painful way.
“Orlando?” he finally managed to say, his voice unsteady. Viggo carefully stepped closer, not sure how to behave. This was nothing he would’ve expected in his worst nightmare. Orlando seemed so afraid and broken. Anger welled up within the Dane, filled him with the wish to kill whoever did this to his Orlando. The urge to pull the young man close and ease him, expel the demons which made him suffer took a strong hold of Viggo like a fist clenching around his chest. He finally kneeled beside the bed, slowly stretched out his right hand and lightly touched Orlando’s cheek. Only seconds later his fingertips were touching nothing but air. Orlando had jerked away immediately, his face hidden in the pillow. The shivers shaking his thin frame were evidence to the tears the brunette shed. Despair rolled over Viggo and brought hot tears to his eyes. He wanted nothing more than to pull Orlando in his arms and protect him but the young man seemed to be afraid of him.
“Orlando…Orli, it’s just me…you don’t have to be afraid…I want to help you…Orli please.”
The torture of waiting was nothing against the torture he experienced now. The ache in his heart, the sting in his eyes, the feeling of pure helplessness drove him crazy. Seeing the one person he loved dearly surrounded by darkness, despair, and fear was something he could deal with somehow but Orlando being afraid of him hurt more than anything else in the world.
“Sir?” One of the policemen took Viggo’s arm and dragged him into a standing position, pushed him away from the bed.
“I know that you are worried but you must let us do our work here.”
Viggo opened his mouth but no sound came out of his lips, blue eyes still fixed on the person in the bed. Another policeman and the chief had entered, shortly followed by Peter who looked at the scenario in horror but made his way over to Viggo. Sometimes not only the victims were the ones that needed help. However the actor did not react, standing still. One of the policemen had a blanket which he laid over Orlando after he had removed the dirty one. The short view Viggo caught of the abused body finally let the tears stream from his eyes. How could somebody do violence to a wonderful person like Orlando??
He watched numbly as the chief tried to talk to Orlando. The young man did not respond, just drew the blanket tighter around his body. After a while the chief gave up the talking and instead helped the man to stand up. The thin frame under the quilt was still shaking and now his face was not hidden in the pillow anymore and Viggo was able to see the tears, the blood, and the weary brown eyes which had lost their glow. Impulsively he stretched out his hand when Orlando staggered, not able to stand on his own. A second policeman was at his side immediately to support him and together they led the young man out of the room. It was obvious that the brunette felt uncomfortable and didn’t want to be touched, nor led anywhere. He clutched the quilt tight, eyes fixed on the floor. Viggo stared after him, suddenly waked from his unpleasant thoughts when Peter softly squeezed his shoulder.
“Viggo…come on, they are driving him to the hospital and want that we should come there too. He’ll need someone to takes care of him afterwards.” It was unmistakable that Peter had to fight hard to keep his control. This situation was very hard for him too but he could not break down. Someone had to keep things up.
Viggo nodded slowly, pure helplessness shone in his eyes. He couldn’t put into words what he felt at that very moment. A whirlwind of emotions raced through his body. He felt despair, anger, disappointment, overwhelming love, and sadness. It was too much to sort out so he just let PJ lead him out and to his car. He would’ve preferred to be with Orlando, to comfort him, give him back safety but that didn’t seem possible. Viggo didn’t even know if the brunette wanted him around. The way he had jerked away and the broken look in the once soulful depths of brown hunted him as if the image had burned itself into his cornea. It hurt.
Orlando looked out of the window, not realizing anything of the countryside passing by. It was as if a movie took place before his eyes but he didn’t watch. He had tried to make himself as small as possible, the blanket tightly pulled around him. His body hurt so much, he barely was able to sit but at the moment it didn’t matter. His body just felt numb and he felt ashamed. Ashamed of himself; shamed that Viggo had seen him like that. Afraid of what would await him now. His waking nightmare hadn’t ended, it continued for all of this was humiliating just like the way Jeff had threatened him. He hadn’t jerked away from Viggo’s touch because he was afraid of the touch itself but because he was afraid of Viggo despising him. He was terrified at the thought that the older actor would find out everything that everyone would find out. He longed for a gentle touch, he had imagined Viggo comforting him when he lay awake in the darkness and at the same time he was not sure if he would be able to let anyone touch him again ever. Silent tears constantly dampened his cheeks, blurred his vision. His body reacted automatically while Orlando himself did not even realize what happened around him as if his soul was protected from the world by an invisible barrier. He did not hear the words the people around him spoke. He was embarrassed that they saw him like that, yes, but he did not really realize what they talked or did. He had subsided into his own world where he was alone with his thoughts. The brunette did not realize that they had brought him to a hospital and that he was now sitting in one of the treatment rooms. He clutched the blanket tightly like a drowning man would clasp a straw. He finally was aware of his surroundings again when a doctor stood in front of him all of a sudden and squeezed his shoulder. Orlando looked up startled, his eyes wide in fear. The older man before him smiled warmly.
“You don’t need to be afraid. I am Doctor Lenoir and I’ll make sure everything is okay with you.” His posture held nothing but concern and still Orlando was terrified. He didn’t want someone to look at him or to question him!
“I….I’m fine.” He chocked out, voice raspy.
“Sure you are but still it would be better if I take a look. Promise it won’t take long.” Phil Lenoir already knew this kind of patient. Denial was always the first stage.
“I know that this is hard for you Orlando, but you have to see that it is necessary. There is nothing you have to be ashamed of because none of this was your doing nor did you have any influence. Also I know that you feel uncomfortable but it is only you and I in here and I will tell no one. When I have finished the examination I’ll get you some clothes alright?” He spoke slowly and reassuring like a father might have done to his son to get him to do something he didn’t want to. Orlando stared at the floor, his body shaking again. He felt as helpless as he had with Jeff. He had no change to defend himself, he had to stay here and let the examination wash over him, doing what others wanted him to do. He was vulnerable.
The doctor took a seat next to the treatment table Orlando sat on.
“Okay, I’ll examine you but you have to put down the blanket for that and lie down. Is that alright for you?” He asked carefully. At least the young man had spoken, if only to tell him he was fine. It was a beginning. It was important that people like him spoke after their traumatic experiences and did not succumb into their own world, gave in to fear and despair.
Orlando sat motionless for a few seconds before he nodded. There was not much of a choice anyway. But he didn’t move and still clasped the blanket. Doctor Lenoir moved a bit closer and cautiously loosened Orlando’s tight grip on the quilt, took the piece of fabric from the young man who shivered. He put it aside, not showing what he thought when he saw the abused body.
“Lie down Orlando.” He asked softly, lightly pushing against the shoulder of the man who slowly did as he was told. Orlando had his eyes squeezed shut tightly, tried hard not to let his tears flow again. Hadn’t it been enough? Had he not endured enough humiliation? The doctor was friendly but it didn’t make him feel less vulnerable.
“Thanks that’s good. I’ll cleanse these cuts and disinfect them at first, alright? Don’t be startled.” Phil explained before he did so. Orlando’s hands clasped the edges of the table while his tension seemed to grow without bounds. Hands on his skin. Before his inner eye he could see Jeff again, touching him, claiming what was not his. He gasped, his eyes snapped open.
Phil did not stop but smiled at Orlando.
“It’s alright Orlando. I promise that I won’t hurt you and I’ll try to be quick so this is over soon. But you understand that I have to do that, right? You might be seriously injured or need treatment. I’ll also give you something that will help with the pain later so you can sleep properly tonight.” He spoke carefully like you would with a little child, explained all of his actions. The last thing he wanted to do was to frighten the young man even more, but if he wanted to help the examination was necessary.
Orlando nodded again but his gaze wandered through the room. There was no window and he felt at least a bit relieved. Jeff could take no pictures. But Jeff was still out there. Now his hurried departure made sense. He had seen the police cars. The Brit swallowed hard. It took much effort to speak.
“Did they get him?” It was only a whisper but Phil heard it, raised one eyebrow.
“Who?”
“Jeff.”
“Is Jeff the one who did this to you?” Doctor Lenoir kept his voice casual but even the slightest information was important. He was not only doctor but also psychiatrist and dealt mostly with cases like Orlando’s.
Another small nod.
“No, so far they didn’t get him and might need a few more details from you to catch him.”
Orlando seemed even more ill at ease when he heard that. So Jeff was out there.
“He’ll come for me. He said he’ll come again.” The whisper was barely understandable but the despair and fear radiated from the low voice.
“But he won’t get you Orlando, I promise. You’ll be safe from now on and the police will search for him. Can you tell me how he looked?” He kept the conversation informal as if they were just doing some small talk.
The brunette relaxed a bit again, the talking distracted him from the examination. He hadn’t even realized that Phil had already cleansed the wounds and was inspecting them more accuratly now. Orlando didn’t know why but he kept answering the questions.
“He looks quite normal. You know one of these persons you never expect to be…..” he stopped and didn’t end the sentence.
“He has short brown hair and…I guess blue eyes. I am not really sure though I never really…looked him into the eyes.” He swallowed hard again.
“He’s a little smaller than I am….”
Phil nodded, mentally jotted everything Orlando just said.
“That’s alright.” He assured. “Could you roll onto your stomach now please? I’ll examine your backside and bandage some of the wounds when I’ve done that. I just need to take a blood sample to test you for any diseases and after that you are done with that stuff here.”
Orlando’s strain seemed to grow again. The doctor would know exactly what happened when he saw his backside. Shame washed over the actor again but he did like Lenoir asked, winced slightly. His body hurt but when he finally had rolled onto his stomach he could at least hide his face.
Phil Lenoir was not surprised by what he saw and still his stomach contracted. He begun the same procedure like before, cleansed the wounds. When he came to the abused entrance of the young mans body where dried blood mixed with fresh Orlando jerked away. Phil stopped.
“I know this is unpleasant for you Orlando but I need to do it. I promise that I’ll be quick okay?”
A soft sob escaped the chapped lips but the Brit did not jerk away again although he started to tremble. Phil was as careful as he could, cleansed the blood away. He would need to see if there were any internal wounds and know exactly how horrible that would be for the young man. He felt sympathy but knew that he had to do it.
“This may be a bit troublesome Orlando but maybe you manage to relax a bit so it will be easier for you and for me.” He put on one of the gloves and coated the index finger with Vaseline. He placed the free hand on Orlando’s waist before he carefully slid his index finger into the abused body. A moan escaped the young man who tensed immediately. His body was shaking even worse now but Phil did not take time to comfort him. It was better to get this over as swiftly as possible. He felt around with his finger. There were some internal wounds.
“We are almost done.” He withdrew his finger again, took off the glove.
“There are some small internal wounds which are still bleeding but that’s no big deal. I’ll insert a small bandage covered with ointment. That sounds scary now I know but you won’t feel it and it will help with the bleeding. You can take it out tomorrow morning. Try to relax once more.” Phil rummaged through the drawer until he found what he needed and removed the packaging from the bandage. He also didn’t have to ask if the man who had abused Orlando used a condom. The semen which had been mixed with the blood was enough evidence.
“This won’t hurt so don’t be afraid.” He reassured Orlando once more before he spread his tights a bit more and carefully inserted the bandage.
Orlando sobbed again, his fingernails dug into the material of the extermination table. It was not because of the pain – he had become used to pain in the last days – but because he was embarrassed. He had never thought that he would be threatened like that one day and it made him sad. The bandage felt uncomfortable and added pressure which vanished as soon as the ointment started to work.
“See, everything’s over now. I’ll just bandage some of the deeper cuts and then you can dress yourself. I’ll take a blood sample, give you ointment for the wounds and scratches and some painkillers and then we are done.”
The young man did not respond to his words, just flinched now and then when Phil bandaged the deep wounds from the whipping after he’d put some ointment on them.
“So, we are done Orlando. You can sit up again I’ll just leave for a few seconds to get your clothes.” Phil smiled lightly at the shaken young man. He knew just how uncomfortable he must feel but it was important to get the examination over and after that to give the victim some time before even considering a therapy or any further actions. Besides he was not in position to ordain all that anyways. His job was to be careful with his patients and to do everything he could for them. When he left the room he was not surprised to find a bunch of waiting people in the floor. First he told the chief what Orlando had told him about Jeff. The policeman took notes before he and the other two men who had accompanied him left. The only persons left were Peter and Viggo. The last one was restlessly walking around while Peter sat in one of the chairs. They both looked up when the doctor approached.
“Mr. Jackson and Mr. Mortensen I assume?” Synchronized nods were the answer. Both men looked worried which didn’t surprise Phil either.
“I am Doctor Lenoir. I just examined Orlando. He needs someone who will take care of him now. Obviously he can’t return to his house and he shouldn’t be alone in his mental state anyways. Many people would suggest to leave him here in professional care but to be honest I don’t think very highly of that. He needs someone he knows and trusts around.” His gaze lingered on the two men. Viggo swallowed hard.
“I’ll…take care of him.”
“Alright. I guess the two of you are close then. But you have to know some things before.” This was always one of the worst parts.
“Orlando has been violated and raped.”
Viggo closed his eyes, clenched his fists. He had feared something like that from the moment he saw Orlando but hearing it now hit him again hard. Peter was shocked too, gulped hard.
“Of course he is distraught now.” The doctor continued. “He is afraid to be touched and you have to handle him carefully. The guy who did this to him is still out there so it is even more important to give him the feeling of safety. Don’t overcharge him or pressure him. He will talk about what happened when he is ready. You have to make sure that he doesn’t succumb to despair and pain. Talk with him about the weather or the television program, it doesn’t matter just talk. Don’t hesitate because he might react in a scared. He needs to learn to trust again after what happened to him. He is very ashamed at the moment. Ashamed of himself and of what happened. I tell you that because I want you to understand so you can deal better with the situation. First of all he needs rest now. I took care of the wounds and will give him some ointment. Make sure he applies it once a day, if they don’t heal properly twice a day. I’ll also give him some painkillers with a mild sedative so he can sleep. You can call me at any time if you have some questions. After he has recovered physical we can think of a therapy or other further steps.”
Viggo had listened carefully, nodded now and then. His heart ached. The bastard who had done this to his Orlando was still free and Orlando himself seemed…broken.
“Okay.” He mumbled.
“I’ll help you and do everything for Orlando I can.” Peter assured.
“That’s good. I’ll get Orlando some clothes for the drive home and take a blood sample because we have to test him for diseases.”
“We’ll wait here.” Viggo answered before Phil could say anything more. The doctor nodded and gave the two men an understanding look before he walked over to a room a little further down the hallway.
When he returned to the examination room again he found Orlando curled up into a ball, his legs pulled up to his chest.
“Hey there. I have some clothes for you. Not the most fashionable stuff but they’ll do for the drive home.”
Orlando raised his head a little, eyes red and cheeks damp with tears.
“Home?” he cracked. He had no home. The house he had lived in was nothing of a home anymore. It carried the memories he wanted to banish from his mind forever.
“Yes Mr. Mortensen is taking you to his house. He will look after you. Is that alright for you or would you rather have someone else?” Phil asked friendly and handed Orlando the clothes.
The young man took them warily, held them for some seconds before he shook his head. He didn’t want Viggo to see him like this but it had always been the older actor he had imagined when he longed for comfort.
“No…no I’ll go with Viggo.” He put on the pullover and the pants shakily while doctor Lenoir made the medication ready. When Orlando was finished he pulled out a tiny needle and took the blood sample.
“We’ll have your results here in one week and call you. Anything else you want to ask or are concerned about Orlando?” Phil asked, squeezed the Brit’s shoulder lightly. Orlando suppressed the urge to jerk away. Phil had done nothing to him, everything was okay. He just tried to calm himself and his breathing.
“No. I just…want to go home.” It felt so strange to say that.
“That’s alright, just phone me when you have a question.” Phil guided Orlando out of the room where Viggo and Peter were waiting.
“Take care Orlando, I’ll see you in some days to check on you again.” With a last reassuring smile Phil left the three men alone.
Orlando clutched the packet with the medications tighter, stared at the floor. He didn’t know what to say and he couldn’t bring himself to look up.
“So…I think we should go home then.” Peter finally broke the silence. A small nod came from Orlando but he didn’t look up. He wrapped his arms protectively around his chest and followed Peter down the hallway. Viggo came after them slowly, lost in his thoughts. Orlando looked so helpless; he had been standing before them like a little child. The urge to gather him into his arms and kiss the tears from the beautiful face became so overwhelming again. But he couldn’t. The doctor had told it to him and he himself knew it too. Orlando was insecure and terrified and forced intimacy and closeness would be the most wrong thing to do. He studied the actor before him closely. He seemed to tense more when they left the building and started to tremble. His eyes darted around nervously. Maybe he feared that the guy who had done this to him was still around. Viggo closed the distance between them, guardedly laid a hand on Orlando’s spine.
“It’s okay, I am here and nothing will happen to you, I promise.” He murmured his voice low enough so that only Orlando could hear it. The young man tensed at first but forced himself to relax at least a little. He longed for a gentle and comforting touch, so why was he so afraid and uncomfortable? He didn’t answer Viggo but dared to glance up shortly and give the other man a tiny smile, barely noticeable. The Dane returned the smile and helped Orlando into the car. They sat on the back seat while Peter had taken the drivers seat.. All three men were silent the whole car ride long. When the car parked Peter turned around, forced himself to smile a little.
“Call me if you need anything okay? I’ll reschedule everything so you won’t be needed on set for at least two weeks.” This wouldn’t be easy but Orlando was not in anywhere near a state where he could work and he needed someone with him and that someone was Viggo.
“Alright. Thanks Pete.” Viggo smiled wearily at him before he opened the door and helped Orlando out of the car, took the package with medication as well. He guided Orlando to the house and after rummaging through his pocket he finally found the key and opened the door.
Once inside he turned on the lights while Orlando stood in the hallway, arms wrapped around him and staring at the floor just like he had done in the hospital.
“Do you want something to eat or drink?” the older man asked carefully. Orlando just shook his head. Viggo tried hard not to sigh.
“Okay, if you want anything just tell me yeah? So the best thing is to get you into bed now I think, surely you are tired? Do you want to sleep in the guest bedroom you had the last time you were here or my bedroom?”
Orlando looked unsure, nervously played with the sleeve of his pullover.
“I…I don’t know.” He finally managed to say.
Viggo considered both options before he decided that his bedroom would be better because there was a comfortable chair in which he could spend the night so Orlando would not be alone. He directed Orlando upstairs and to a door at the left. The brown eyes inspected the room insecurely. Some days ago when he had been in the guest bedroom he had imagined this room but now that he was here he didn’t even care. So many things had lost their meaning in the last 48 hours.
“You want some other clothes? I guess I’ll go over to your house tomorrow to get some of your stuff. If you want to I mean.” He hastily added. Without a doubt Viggo was nervous. He didn’t know how to handle the young man, how he should act. He himself had so many things in mind, was so confused, angry, and desperate all the same.
Orlando stood near one of the walls, his arms still tightly wrapped around him, uncomfortably glancing at the window.
“I-I’d like something…something else.” He finally stammered. The clothes he was currently wearing smelt of hospital. Viggo nodded and rummaged through his closet, trying to find something that would fit. Orlando was nearly as tall as he but he was much thinner. Finally he found a T-Shirt and sweatpants that he handed to the other one.
“Thanks.” Orlando murmured, looked at the floor. “C-can we close the curtains please?” He asked shyly.
“Of course.” Viggo wondered about that request but did like he had been asked. He would do anything just to make Orlando comfortable again. While Viggo closed the curtains Orlando hastily changed his clothes, uncertainly took some steps in the direction of the bed. When the older man recognized the hesitation he smiled lightly.
“Just lay down, I know that you must be tired. Do you want to take one of the painkillers?”
A small nod.
“I’ll get you a glass of water.” When he left the room to get the water he had finally some minutes for himself. He wanted to help Orlando and he would help Orlando but handling this whole situation, dealing with his feelings was hard. He wanted to kill the bastard and at the same time it was so hard to realize that all this had really happened to his Orlando. To the cheerful young man he had fallen in love with.
When Viggo returned he found Orlando curled up under the blanket, his position still speaking of the tension within him. His eyes were darting around the room and he seemed startled when Viggo entered again, looked at him with wide, fearful eyes. When realization hit him he gazed at the quilt, nervously playing with the edge of it. Viggo sat on the bed and handed Orlando the glass and one of the pills. The young man shifted, uncomfortable, brought as much space between himself and Viggo. He didn’t know why he did it.
Orlando swallowed the pill and took a few sips of the water before he returned the glass. He had been even more afraid as soon as he had been alone in the room. The Brit had feared that Jeff would be standing in the room again all of a sudden. When the door opened he had been paralyzed and saw Jeff standing there for some brief moments. When he realized that it was just Viggo he relaxed a bit, his fingers let go the blanket. He sank a bit deeper into the pillows. He wondered how he could even think of sleep after all that happened but he felt nothing but tiredness right now. When he would sleep he could not remember and the memories would vanish for some time.
Viggo pulled the blanket up a bit higher when he saw how sleep slowly washed over Orlando.
“Do you need anything else?” his voice was low, he didn’t want to wake Orlando from his doziness. There was no response for some seconds.
“Will you stay?” It was barely above a whisper.
“Surely, if you want me too.”
“Yes.” Otherwise he feared to wake up and find Jeff next to him again. His feelings were so mixed at the moment that he hardly knew exactly what he felt anymore. Orlando curled up under the cover and was asleep some minutes later.
TBC
Author: Greenleaf
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: OB/VM
Summary: Strange things are happening to Orlando. At first he thinks it is just a joke of his friends, but things start to get even scarier with time and he painfully experiences, that this weren't jokes.......
Will Viggo be able to help him after his waking nightmare?
*Warnings* Angst, Violence, Rape
Feedback: Yes pleaaaaaaaaaaaase *holds up starving author sign* I live for it
Disclaimer: None of them belongs to me (sadly), nothing of this did really happen
Beta: The wonderful and awesome
slashfairy. Thank you *huggles“Sir! Sir! We found him!“
Viggo felt as if something had hit him straight in the guts. They had found him…”They’ve found Orlando!” Thoughts were spinning through his mind but he could not sort out a single one. There were too many and the only important thing repeatedly hammering in his ears ‘They found him’. But the relief washing over him was short. They’d found him, yes but was he alright? Without further hesitation Viggo ran to the house. When he stood in the hallway he realized that he had no clue where Orlando was. After looking around he just stopped one of the policemen who tried to pass by.
“Where is he?”
“Upstairs sir but I really don’t think that you should-“
Viggo didn’t listen to him. It didn’t matter. He wanted to be with Orlando, he wanted to make sure that the young man was okay. He had longed for him a long time and since Orlando had gone missing the need to gather him in his arms had become overwhelming. Viggo sprinted up the stairs, taking two at one time. It was not really hard to make out where Orlando most likely was. There was only one door open and the Dane entered the room, ignored the policeman in there.
“Orland-“ The name died on his lips before he was fully spoken. Viggo stood frozen in the middle of the room, stared at the bed for some seconds. It was as if suddenly his mind had gone blank. There was not a single thought left, the only thing present the picture before his eyes. It was indeed Orlando lying there in the bed but it was not the Orlando he knew. He seemed so broken, and hid under the blanket like a child. Viggo’s heart ached when he saw tears streaming over the handsome face of the young man. It took some time for him to realize the blood on the other face and the blanket. It made his stomach turn and twist in a painful way.
“Orlando?” he finally managed to say, his voice unsteady. Viggo carefully stepped closer, not sure how to behave. This was nothing he would’ve expected in his worst nightmare. Orlando seemed so afraid and broken. Anger welled up within the Dane, filled him with the wish to kill whoever did this to his Orlando. The urge to pull the young man close and ease him, expel the demons which made him suffer took a strong hold of Viggo like a fist clenching around his chest. He finally kneeled beside the bed, slowly stretched out his right hand and lightly touched Orlando’s cheek. Only seconds later his fingertips were touching nothing but air. Orlando had jerked away immediately, his face hidden in the pillow. The shivers shaking his thin frame were evidence to the tears the brunette shed. Despair rolled over Viggo and brought hot tears to his eyes. He wanted nothing more than to pull Orlando in his arms and protect him but the young man seemed to be afraid of him.
“Orlando…Orli, it’s just me…you don’t have to be afraid…I want to help you…Orli please.”
The torture of waiting was nothing against the torture he experienced now. The ache in his heart, the sting in his eyes, the feeling of pure helplessness drove him crazy. Seeing the one person he loved dearly surrounded by darkness, despair, and fear was something he could deal with somehow but Orlando being afraid of him hurt more than anything else in the world.
“Sir?” One of the policemen took Viggo’s arm and dragged him into a standing position, pushed him away from the bed.
“I know that you are worried but you must let us do our work here.”
Viggo opened his mouth but no sound came out of his lips, blue eyes still fixed on the person in the bed. Another policeman and the chief had entered, shortly followed by Peter who looked at the scenario in horror but made his way over to Viggo. Sometimes not only the victims were the ones that needed help. However the actor did not react, standing still. One of the policemen had a blanket which he laid over Orlando after he had removed the dirty one. The short view Viggo caught of the abused body finally let the tears stream from his eyes. How could somebody do violence to a wonderful person like Orlando??
He watched numbly as the chief tried to talk to Orlando. The young man did not respond, just drew the blanket tighter around his body. After a while the chief gave up the talking and instead helped the man to stand up. The thin frame under the quilt was still shaking and now his face was not hidden in the pillow anymore and Viggo was able to see the tears, the blood, and the weary brown eyes which had lost their glow. Impulsively he stretched out his hand when Orlando staggered, not able to stand on his own. A second policeman was at his side immediately to support him and together they led the young man out of the room. It was obvious that the brunette felt uncomfortable and didn’t want to be touched, nor led anywhere. He clutched the quilt tight, eyes fixed on the floor. Viggo stared after him, suddenly waked from his unpleasant thoughts when Peter softly squeezed his shoulder.
“Viggo…come on, they are driving him to the hospital and want that we should come there too. He’ll need someone to takes care of him afterwards.” It was unmistakable that Peter had to fight hard to keep his control. This situation was very hard for him too but he could not break down. Someone had to keep things up.
Viggo nodded slowly, pure helplessness shone in his eyes. He couldn’t put into words what he felt at that very moment. A whirlwind of emotions raced through his body. He felt despair, anger, disappointment, overwhelming love, and sadness. It was too much to sort out so he just let PJ lead him out and to his car. He would’ve preferred to be with Orlando, to comfort him, give him back safety but that didn’t seem possible. Viggo didn’t even know if the brunette wanted him around. The way he had jerked away and the broken look in the once soulful depths of brown hunted him as if the image had burned itself into his cornea. It hurt.
Orlando looked out of the window, not realizing anything of the countryside passing by. It was as if a movie took place before his eyes but he didn’t watch. He had tried to make himself as small as possible, the blanket tightly pulled around him. His body hurt so much, he barely was able to sit but at the moment it didn’t matter. His body just felt numb and he felt ashamed. Ashamed of himself; shamed that Viggo had seen him like that. Afraid of what would await him now. His waking nightmare hadn’t ended, it continued for all of this was humiliating just like the way Jeff had threatened him. He hadn’t jerked away from Viggo’s touch because he was afraid of the touch itself but because he was afraid of Viggo despising him. He was terrified at the thought that the older actor would find out everything that everyone would find out. He longed for a gentle touch, he had imagined Viggo comforting him when he lay awake in the darkness and at the same time he was not sure if he would be able to let anyone touch him again ever. Silent tears constantly dampened his cheeks, blurred his vision. His body reacted automatically while Orlando himself did not even realize what happened around him as if his soul was protected from the world by an invisible barrier. He did not hear the words the people around him spoke. He was embarrassed that they saw him like that, yes, but he did not really realize what they talked or did. He had subsided into his own world where he was alone with his thoughts. The brunette did not realize that they had brought him to a hospital and that he was now sitting in one of the treatment rooms. He clutched the blanket tightly like a drowning man would clasp a straw. He finally was aware of his surroundings again when a doctor stood in front of him all of a sudden and squeezed his shoulder. Orlando looked up startled, his eyes wide in fear. The older man before him smiled warmly.
“You don’t need to be afraid. I am Doctor Lenoir and I’ll make sure everything is okay with you.” His posture held nothing but concern and still Orlando was terrified. He didn’t want someone to look at him or to question him!
“I….I’m fine.” He chocked out, voice raspy.
“Sure you are but still it would be better if I take a look. Promise it won’t take long.” Phil Lenoir already knew this kind of patient. Denial was always the first stage.
“I know that this is hard for you Orlando, but you have to see that it is necessary. There is nothing you have to be ashamed of because none of this was your doing nor did you have any influence. Also I know that you feel uncomfortable but it is only you and I in here and I will tell no one. When I have finished the examination I’ll get you some clothes alright?” He spoke slowly and reassuring like a father might have done to his son to get him to do something he didn’t want to. Orlando stared at the floor, his body shaking again. He felt as helpless as he had with Jeff. He had no change to defend himself, he had to stay here and let the examination wash over him, doing what others wanted him to do. He was vulnerable.
The doctor took a seat next to the treatment table Orlando sat on.
“Okay, I’ll examine you but you have to put down the blanket for that and lie down. Is that alright for you?” He asked carefully. At least the young man had spoken, if only to tell him he was fine. It was a beginning. It was important that people like him spoke after their traumatic experiences and did not succumb into their own world, gave in to fear and despair.
Orlando sat motionless for a few seconds before he nodded. There was not much of a choice anyway. But he didn’t move and still clasped the blanket. Doctor Lenoir moved a bit closer and cautiously loosened Orlando’s tight grip on the quilt, took the piece of fabric from the young man who shivered. He put it aside, not showing what he thought when he saw the abused body.
“Lie down Orlando.” He asked softly, lightly pushing against the shoulder of the man who slowly did as he was told. Orlando had his eyes squeezed shut tightly, tried hard not to let his tears flow again. Hadn’t it been enough? Had he not endured enough humiliation? The doctor was friendly but it didn’t make him feel less vulnerable.
“Thanks that’s good. I’ll cleanse these cuts and disinfect them at first, alright? Don’t be startled.” Phil explained before he did so. Orlando’s hands clasped the edges of the table while his tension seemed to grow without bounds. Hands on his skin. Before his inner eye he could see Jeff again, touching him, claiming what was not his. He gasped, his eyes snapped open.
Phil did not stop but smiled at Orlando.
“It’s alright Orlando. I promise that I won’t hurt you and I’ll try to be quick so this is over soon. But you understand that I have to do that, right? You might be seriously injured or need treatment. I’ll also give you something that will help with the pain later so you can sleep properly tonight.” He spoke carefully like you would with a little child, explained all of his actions. The last thing he wanted to do was to frighten the young man even more, but if he wanted to help the examination was necessary.
Orlando nodded again but his gaze wandered through the room. There was no window and he felt at least a bit relieved. Jeff could take no pictures. But Jeff was still out there. Now his hurried departure made sense. He had seen the police cars. The Brit swallowed hard. It took much effort to speak.
“Did they get him?” It was only a whisper but Phil heard it, raised one eyebrow.
“Who?”
“Jeff.”
“Is Jeff the one who did this to you?” Doctor Lenoir kept his voice casual but even the slightest information was important. He was not only doctor but also psychiatrist and dealt mostly with cases like Orlando’s.
Another small nod.
“No, so far they didn’t get him and might need a few more details from you to catch him.”
Orlando seemed even more ill at ease when he heard that. So Jeff was out there.
“He’ll come for me. He said he’ll come again.” The whisper was barely understandable but the despair and fear radiated from the low voice.
“But he won’t get you Orlando, I promise. You’ll be safe from now on and the police will search for him. Can you tell me how he looked?” He kept the conversation informal as if they were just doing some small talk.
The brunette relaxed a bit again, the talking distracted him from the examination. He hadn’t even realized that Phil had already cleansed the wounds and was inspecting them more accuratly now. Orlando didn’t know why but he kept answering the questions.
“He looks quite normal. You know one of these persons you never expect to be…..” he stopped and didn’t end the sentence.
“He has short brown hair and…I guess blue eyes. I am not really sure though I never really…looked him into the eyes.” He swallowed hard again.
“He’s a little smaller than I am….”
Phil nodded, mentally jotted everything Orlando just said.
“That’s alright.” He assured. “Could you roll onto your stomach now please? I’ll examine your backside and bandage some of the wounds when I’ve done that. I just need to take a blood sample to test you for any diseases and after that you are done with that stuff here.”
Orlando’s strain seemed to grow again. The doctor would know exactly what happened when he saw his backside. Shame washed over the actor again but he did like Lenoir asked, winced slightly. His body hurt but when he finally had rolled onto his stomach he could at least hide his face.
Phil Lenoir was not surprised by what he saw and still his stomach contracted. He begun the same procedure like before, cleansed the wounds. When he came to the abused entrance of the young mans body where dried blood mixed with fresh Orlando jerked away. Phil stopped.
“I know this is unpleasant for you Orlando but I need to do it. I promise that I’ll be quick okay?”
A soft sob escaped the chapped lips but the Brit did not jerk away again although he started to tremble. Phil was as careful as he could, cleansed the blood away. He would need to see if there were any internal wounds and know exactly how horrible that would be for the young man. He felt sympathy but knew that he had to do it.
“This may be a bit troublesome Orlando but maybe you manage to relax a bit so it will be easier for you and for me.” He put on one of the gloves and coated the index finger with Vaseline. He placed the free hand on Orlando’s waist before he carefully slid his index finger into the abused body. A moan escaped the young man who tensed immediately. His body was shaking even worse now but Phil did not take time to comfort him. It was better to get this over as swiftly as possible. He felt around with his finger. There were some internal wounds.
“We are almost done.” He withdrew his finger again, took off the glove.
“There are some small internal wounds which are still bleeding but that’s no big deal. I’ll insert a small bandage covered with ointment. That sounds scary now I know but you won’t feel it and it will help with the bleeding. You can take it out tomorrow morning. Try to relax once more.” Phil rummaged through the drawer until he found what he needed and removed the packaging from the bandage. He also didn’t have to ask if the man who had abused Orlando used a condom. The semen which had been mixed with the blood was enough evidence.
“This won’t hurt so don’t be afraid.” He reassured Orlando once more before he spread his tights a bit more and carefully inserted the bandage.
Orlando sobbed again, his fingernails dug into the material of the extermination table. It was not because of the pain – he had become used to pain in the last days – but because he was embarrassed. He had never thought that he would be threatened like that one day and it made him sad. The bandage felt uncomfortable and added pressure which vanished as soon as the ointment started to work.
“See, everything’s over now. I’ll just bandage some of the deeper cuts and then you can dress yourself. I’ll take a blood sample, give you ointment for the wounds and scratches and some painkillers and then we are done.”
The young man did not respond to his words, just flinched now and then when Phil bandaged the deep wounds from the whipping after he’d put some ointment on them.
“So, we are done Orlando. You can sit up again I’ll just leave for a few seconds to get your clothes.” Phil smiled lightly at the shaken young man. He knew just how uncomfortable he must feel but it was important to get the examination over and after that to give the victim some time before even considering a therapy or any further actions. Besides he was not in position to ordain all that anyways. His job was to be careful with his patients and to do everything he could for them. When he left the room he was not surprised to find a bunch of waiting people in the floor. First he told the chief what Orlando had told him about Jeff. The policeman took notes before he and the other two men who had accompanied him left. The only persons left were Peter and Viggo. The last one was restlessly walking around while Peter sat in one of the chairs. They both looked up when the doctor approached.
“Mr. Jackson and Mr. Mortensen I assume?” Synchronized nods were the answer. Both men looked worried which didn’t surprise Phil either.
“I am Doctor Lenoir. I just examined Orlando. He needs someone who will take care of him now. Obviously he can’t return to his house and he shouldn’t be alone in his mental state anyways. Many people would suggest to leave him here in professional care but to be honest I don’t think very highly of that. He needs someone he knows and trusts around.” His gaze lingered on the two men. Viggo swallowed hard.
“I’ll…take care of him.”
“Alright. I guess the two of you are close then. But you have to know some things before.” This was always one of the worst parts.
“Orlando has been violated and raped.”
Viggo closed his eyes, clenched his fists. He had feared something like that from the moment he saw Orlando but hearing it now hit him again hard. Peter was shocked too, gulped hard.
“Of course he is distraught now.” The doctor continued. “He is afraid to be touched and you have to handle him carefully. The guy who did this to him is still out there so it is even more important to give him the feeling of safety. Don’t overcharge him or pressure him. He will talk about what happened when he is ready. You have to make sure that he doesn’t succumb to despair and pain. Talk with him about the weather or the television program, it doesn’t matter just talk. Don’t hesitate because he might react in a scared. He needs to learn to trust again after what happened to him. He is very ashamed at the moment. Ashamed of himself and of what happened. I tell you that because I want you to understand so you can deal better with the situation. First of all he needs rest now. I took care of the wounds and will give him some ointment. Make sure he applies it once a day, if they don’t heal properly twice a day. I’ll also give him some painkillers with a mild sedative so he can sleep. You can call me at any time if you have some questions. After he has recovered physical we can think of a therapy or other further steps.”
Viggo had listened carefully, nodded now and then. His heart ached. The bastard who had done this to his Orlando was still free and Orlando himself seemed…broken.
“Okay.” He mumbled.
“I’ll help you and do everything for Orlando I can.” Peter assured.
“That’s good. I’ll get Orlando some clothes for the drive home and take a blood sample because we have to test him for diseases.”
“We’ll wait here.” Viggo answered before Phil could say anything more. The doctor nodded and gave the two men an understanding look before he walked over to a room a little further down the hallway.
When he returned to the examination room again he found Orlando curled up into a ball, his legs pulled up to his chest.
“Hey there. I have some clothes for you. Not the most fashionable stuff but they’ll do for the drive home.”
Orlando raised his head a little, eyes red and cheeks damp with tears.
“Home?” he cracked. He had no home. The house he had lived in was nothing of a home anymore. It carried the memories he wanted to banish from his mind forever.
“Yes Mr. Mortensen is taking you to his house. He will look after you. Is that alright for you or would you rather have someone else?” Phil asked friendly and handed Orlando the clothes.
The young man took them warily, held them for some seconds before he shook his head. He didn’t want Viggo to see him like this but it had always been the older actor he had imagined when he longed for comfort.
“No…no I’ll go with Viggo.” He put on the pullover and the pants shakily while doctor Lenoir made the medication ready. When Orlando was finished he pulled out a tiny needle and took the blood sample.
“We’ll have your results here in one week and call you. Anything else you want to ask or are concerned about Orlando?” Phil asked, squeezed the Brit’s shoulder lightly. Orlando suppressed the urge to jerk away. Phil had done nothing to him, everything was okay. He just tried to calm himself and his breathing.
“No. I just…want to go home.” It felt so strange to say that.
“That’s alright, just phone me when you have a question.” Phil guided Orlando out of the room where Viggo and Peter were waiting.
“Take care Orlando, I’ll see you in some days to check on you again.” With a last reassuring smile Phil left the three men alone.
Orlando clutched the packet with the medications tighter, stared at the floor. He didn’t know what to say and he couldn’t bring himself to look up.
“So…I think we should go home then.” Peter finally broke the silence. A small nod came from Orlando but he didn’t look up. He wrapped his arms protectively around his chest and followed Peter down the hallway. Viggo came after them slowly, lost in his thoughts. Orlando looked so helpless; he had been standing before them like a little child. The urge to gather him into his arms and kiss the tears from the beautiful face became so overwhelming again. But he couldn’t. The doctor had told it to him and he himself knew it too. Orlando was insecure and terrified and forced intimacy and closeness would be the most wrong thing to do. He studied the actor before him closely. He seemed to tense more when they left the building and started to tremble. His eyes darted around nervously. Maybe he feared that the guy who had done this to him was still around. Viggo closed the distance between them, guardedly laid a hand on Orlando’s spine.
“It’s okay, I am here and nothing will happen to you, I promise.” He murmured his voice low enough so that only Orlando could hear it. The young man tensed at first but forced himself to relax at least a little. He longed for a gentle and comforting touch, so why was he so afraid and uncomfortable? He didn’t answer Viggo but dared to glance up shortly and give the other man a tiny smile, barely noticeable. The Dane returned the smile and helped Orlando into the car. They sat on the back seat while Peter had taken the drivers seat.. All three men were silent the whole car ride long. When the car parked Peter turned around, forced himself to smile a little.
“Call me if you need anything okay? I’ll reschedule everything so you won’t be needed on set for at least two weeks.” This wouldn’t be easy but Orlando was not in anywhere near a state where he could work and he needed someone with him and that someone was Viggo.
“Alright. Thanks Pete.” Viggo smiled wearily at him before he opened the door and helped Orlando out of the car, took the package with medication as well. He guided Orlando to the house and after rummaging through his pocket he finally found the key and opened the door.
Once inside he turned on the lights while Orlando stood in the hallway, arms wrapped around him and staring at the floor just like he had done in the hospital.
“Do you want something to eat or drink?” the older man asked carefully. Orlando just shook his head. Viggo tried hard not to sigh.
“Okay, if you want anything just tell me yeah? So the best thing is to get you into bed now I think, surely you are tired? Do you want to sleep in the guest bedroom you had the last time you were here or my bedroom?”
Orlando looked unsure, nervously played with the sleeve of his pullover.
“I…I don’t know.” He finally managed to say.
Viggo considered both options before he decided that his bedroom would be better because there was a comfortable chair in which he could spend the night so Orlando would not be alone. He directed Orlando upstairs and to a door at the left. The brown eyes inspected the room insecurely. Some days ago when he had been in the guest bedroom he had imagined this room but now that he was here he didn’t even care. So many things had lost their meaning in the last 48 hours.
“You want some other clothes? I guess I’ll go over to your house tomorrow to get some of your stuff. If you want to I mean.” He hastily added. Without a doubt Viggo was nervous. He didn’t know how to handle the young man, how he should act. He himself had so many things in mind, was so confused, angry, and desperate all the same.
Orlando stood near one of the walls, his arms still tightly wrapped around him, uncomfortably glancing at the window.
“I-I’d like something…something else.” He finally stammered. The clothes he was currently wearing smelt of hospital. Viggo nodded and rummaged through his closet, trying to find something that would fit. Orlando was nearly as tall as he but he was much thinner. Finally he found a T-Shirt and sweatpants that he handed to the other one.
“Thanks.” Orlando murmured, looked at the floor. “C-can we close the curtains please?” He asked shyly.
“Of course.” Viggo wondered about that request but did like he had been asked. He would do anything just to make Orlando comfortable again. While Viggo closed the curtains Orlando hastily changed his clothes, uncertainly took some steps in the direction of the bed. When the older man recognized the hesitation he smiled lightly.
“Just lay down, I know that you must be tired. Do you want to take one of the painkillers?”
A small nod.
“I’ll get you a glass of water.” When he left the room to get the water he had finally some minutes for himself. He wanted to help Orlando and he would help Orlando but handling this whole situation, dealing with his feelings was hard. He wanted to kill the bastard and at the same time it was so hard to realize that all this had really happened to his Orlando. To the cheerful young man he had fallen in love with.
When Viggo returned he found Orlando curled up under the blanket, his position still speaking of the tension within him. His eyes were darting around the room and he seemed startled when Viggo entered again, looked at him with wide, fearful eyes. When realization hit him he gazed at the quilt, nervously playing with the edge of it. Viggo sat on the bed and handed Orlando the glass and one of the pills. The young man shifted, uncomfortable, brought as much space between himself and Viggo. He didn’t know why he did it.
Orlando swallowed the pill and took a few sips of the water before he returned the glass. He had been even more afraid as soon as he had been alone in the room. The Brit had feared that Jeff would be standing in the room again all of a sudden. When the door opened he had been paralyzed and saw Jeff standing there for some brief moments. When he realized that it was just Viggo he relaxed a bit, his fingers let go the blanket. He sank a bit deeper into the pillows. He wondered how he could even think of sleep after all that happened but he felt nothing but tiredness right now. When he would sleep he could not remember and the memories would vanish for some time.
Viggo pulled the blanket up a bit higher when he saw how sleep slowly washed over Orlando.
“Do you need anything else?” his voice was low, he didn’t want to wake Orlando from his doziness. There was no response for some seconds.
“Will you stay?” It was barely above a whisper.
“Surely, if you want me too.”
“Yes.” Otherwise he feared to wake up and find Jeff next to him again. His feelings were so mixed at the moment that he hardly knew exactly what he felt anymore. Orlando curled up under the cover and was asleep some minutes later.
TBC
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