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vigorliA Life Known
Chapter 21
Title: A Broken Heart
Beta: No Sorry
Rating: R WARNING!!!!! Much Angst!
Disclaimer: See previous
A/N: Finally the chapter you have been waiting for. Dedicated to rifleman_s for your faithful reviews! Thanks!
Chapter 21
Viggo set the table slowly; trying to make sure everything was set just right. He was careful to place the forks and spoons and napkins precisely were they should be. The wine glasses he aligned with the plates and utensils. He lit the center candle and realized that it looked quite romantic and wondered if Orlando would take things wrong and be worried or pressured? He wanted things to be nice though. He wanted the evening to be relaxing for the younger man.
Viggo had showered much earlier, and had taken the extra time to groom himself to his satisfaction and selected his best clothes. He had even combed his hair, but even now the locks were starting to fall into his eyes.
He glanced nervously at the clock 15 more minutes until Orlando was due to arrive, if he arrived at all that is. He had wondered throughout the day if he would be getting a phone call from him to cancel tonight’s dinner. But so far so good, he thought. He surely wouldn’t cancel this late in the day.
He went and sat on the couch and looked the room over, it looked good. He had cleaned it that morning and hadn’t realized how unkept it had become, he wasn’t known for his tidiness, but he wasn’t a complete slob either. He looked at the clock again and glanced towards the door and listened carefully to see if he heard the sound of Orlando’s car approaching.
The phone rang suddenly and he startled at the shrill ringing. God no, he’s canceling, he thought as he sat there and stared at the phone. The high pitch of the ring was starting to wear on his nerves until he finally got up and answered it.
“Hello?’ he said cautiously as he held the phone to his ear.
“About fucking time you picked up the damn phone mate,” he heard an angry Sean on the other end.
Viggo let out a sigh of relief, and laughed; It wasn’t Orlando, he wasn’t canceling.
“Vig? You there?” he heard the questioning voice on the other end.
“Oh yeah, yeah, I’m sorry Sean I thought….” He trailed off.
“You thought I was Orlando canceling eh?” he asked.
Viggo snorted with laughter, “Yeah Sean I did. I was afraid to answer it, I didn’t want him to cancel.”
“I know Vig, I just called to let you know he’s on his way there.”
“He is? Did you talk to him?”
“Yes and no. I talked to him earlier but Elijah just called and said he had just left. So being the good friend that I am…I thought I would call and let you know.”
Viggo smiled, “Thanks Sean, he should be here any minute then.”
“I know, I just wanted to tell you that to keep an open mind and to listen to what he has to say, okay?”
“I will Sean, I usually don’t have a problem with having an open mind, in fact its very annoying to people at times.”
“That’s good, well I’m going to let you go then and let you prepare for your evening just called for a last minute of advice.”
“Thanks Sean, really…wait, I hear him now, I better go.” He hung the phone up quickly.
Sean pulled the phone away from his ear and just stared at it. “Well…that was rude!” he laughed and laid it down and hoped that things worked out for the two of them.
Orlando pulled up into the drive slowly. He parked the car and sat a few minutes and stared at the house. Deep breaths he told himself. In…out.. in….out. He swallowed and checked to make sure the letter was still in his pants pocket. He opened the door and walked slowly up the walkway until he stood in front of the door. He bit his lip as he struggled to bring his hand up to knock on the door. ”Knock on it,” he hissed quietly. But the door suddenly opened and there stood Viggo with a slight smile on his face.
“You gonna stand there all day?” he asked.
“No, I…I was just getting ready to…um.. knock.” he stuttered.
“Come on in Orli.” He said holding the door open as the young man walked trough.
Orlando looked around the room as he went in, he felt nervous, he felt like a trapped animal that had come into the lion’s den.
“Have a seat Orlando,” he heard from behind him. He tried to hide that the voice hadn’t startled him.
He sat on the edge of the couch and shifted nervously. Viggo had sat down at the other end and noticed how tense and on edge he was. “Orli, I’m not going to bite,” he said trying to lighten the mood.
Orlando looked over at him and saw the smile and gave a little smile back. “I know…I’m just…I’m nervous.”
“I noticed,” Viggo said sadly. “You don’t need to be. You have nothing to fear from me.”
“I know I don’t Viggo. “I just…it’s just…’ he looked down at his hands and looked at the chewed off nails and wondered about chewing some more to help calm him down.
Viggo watched him for a second and decided maybe some wine would calm him. “Would you like some wine Orlando? It might calm you a bit.”
“Yeah…yeah that would be awesome.” He said looking back up. He rubbed his sweaty hands on his pant legs. “Calm down,” he said quietly to himself as he watched Viggo leave the room to get some wine. “Just calm down. Get a grip on things.” he reminded himself.
Viggo returned a moment later with two glasses and a bottle of white wine.” Here,” he said as he poured the wine into the slender glass and handed it to Orlando.
Orlando held out a shaky hand as he took it, trying very hard to calm his hand, and not to let Viggo see how this was affecting him.
Viggo poured his own and sat down on the couch and took a sip. He licked his lips after tasting the wine. “Good?” he asked as he watched Orlando take a gulp.
“Yeah, it’s great,” he said softly as he tried to steady the glass. He looked up at Viggo and gave him a small smile. “Thanks”
“You’re welcome. Dinner is almost ready. It should be buzzing here in a few minutes.”
Orlando nodded his head and took another drink. It felt warm going down his throat and he knew he shouldn’t drink so much at one time, considering how fast he got drunk. He could never handle alcohol very well. He was such a lightweight. He laughed to himself.
Viggo saw the glimmer of mirth on his face. “What’s so funny?” he asked happy that Orlando was smiling, but curious just the same to see what had brought the smile to that beautiful face.
“It’s… just… I’m such a lightweight when it comes to alcohol, and they’ve got this scene with John and I, where I out drink him, it just struck me funny, because I’m such a lightweight when it comes to alcohol.”
Viggo laughed, “Yeah I guess that is funny.” He heard the buzz go of in the kitchen. “Well, that will be dinner.” He said standing up. ‘It will be a minute or so and I’ll come get you, okay?”
Orlando nodded, “Okay, sounds good.” He watched as Viggo walked back into the kitchen to get their dinner out of the oven. It smelled really good, but he didn’t think he could even drum up an appetite to eat it. His stomach was making all sort of odd noises as it was.
He had made an attempt at a speech earlier in the day for telling Viggo about his heart, or rather, her heart, but right now it seemed lame. His mind was starting to go in different directions and he started chewing on his nails again. He tore at the side of the nail with his teeth and tasted a drop of blood from the edge. “Shit!” he whispered to himself.
“Hey Viggo, I’m going to run into the loo real quick okay?” he called out. He heard Viggo say it was fine and to head back to the table when he was done. He quickly walked into the hall and shut the door behind him. He grabbed a piece of toilet paper and dabbed at the tear on his skin. He pressed hard for a few moments and looked at the damage. It still bled slightly and he opened the cupboard looking for band-aids. He moved the items around trying to put them back in their place. He finally found the band-aids and pulled them down off the shelf and quickly opened one and applied it to his finger. As he put the box back in, his hand slowed as he noticed the box of condoms. He placed the package down on the shelf and his heart skipped a beat. He wondered if Viggo thought they would be doing something after their dinner and talk. He felt his hands start to shake and he quickly pulled his hand back as if the box was hot and would burn him, and shut the cabinet door. He stared at himself in the small mirror and noticed his pale complexion. He felt the same butterflies in his stomach increase their pace. He felt like he was going to be sick and quickly leaned over the edge of the sink. He gaged as he felt the urge to throw up overtake him. He coughed at the spasms. He jerked as he heard a sudden knock at the door.
“Orli are you alright?” Viggo asked worriedly.
“I’m fine!” he cried out as soon as he could.
“Are you sure, you don’t sound good?” he asked again.
“No. I’m fine Vig, just give me a minute, okay? He gasped slightly.
Viggo stood outside the door and wondered what was going on; he had heard the odd sound and had listened at the door. It had sounded like he was throwing up, or at least trying to. He hesitated to leave, worried about Orlando. But he thought it best if Orlando did things on his own terms. “I’ll be at the table okay?” he said after a moment.
“Thanks Vig, I’ll be right there alright?” he yelled as he turned the water on and splashed cold water on his face. He leaned against the counter and tried calming his breathing down.
After several minutes he was able to dry his face and maintain a semblance of composure, and opened the door and headed out into the dining area.
Viggo sat there and waited for Orlando to come out, his nerves starting to become frayed themselves as he waited. He was relived though to see him a few minutes later. Looking a little pale but otherwise okay. “You okay?” he asked as he stood up and helped Orlando to sit.
“Yeah, thanks Viggo, everything looks really good!”
“I hope you like spinach lasagna?” he said as he served some on Orlando’s plate.
“Yeah its great, I’m sure it will be great,” he replied.
Viggo served himself and offered the garlic bread to Orlando, which he accepted and nibbled on a corner.
They ate in silence for a few minutes till Viggo spoke finally.
“I’m glad you could come tonight,” he said with a smile on his face.
“Yeah, It was nice that you offered, you know…after….” He paused not wanting to finish the line of thought.
Viggo became silent for a moment. “Orlando, I know we need to talk about what happened the other night. I’m sorry if I pushed you into something you weren’t ready for.”
“No Viggo, that really wasn’t it.” He said quickly before anything else could be said.
Viggo only nodded his head and took another bite. “Let’s eat first and then we’ll talk alright?”
Orlando smiled back, “Okay, how’s your toe by the way?”
“Better, it was a little rough that next day, but I managed. Brett's knee was bothering him too, so Peter tried not to work us to hard. I think he was feeling rather guilty about making us run.” He laughed.
“I’m sure, he hasn’t had that great of luck with his main characters being uninjured.”
“I suppose, how are your ribs?” he asked taking another bite.
“Good… good. Feeling better every day. Thanks for asking.”
“Your welcome.” He responded shifting in his chair.
Orlando played with his fork for a few minutes till he finally put it down on the table. “Vig…I’m sorry but I’m really not up to food tonight.” He said quietly.
Viggo placed his fork down. “I can see that, it’s rather obvious with how nervous you are.”
“Not that it’s not great, it is…but…I feel.. a little..nervous and my stomachs not reponding very well.”
Viggo lay his napkin down on the table. “You want to just talk then?” he asked.
Orlando took a deep breath and glanced up quickly. “Yeah, I think that’s best.”
“Let’s go out on the deck, maybe the fresh air will help, okay?” Viggo suggested as he stood.
Orlando nodded and stood, as he followed Viggo to the patio door, and stepped out into the night air. It made him feel better as he breathed in the fresh air. He sat down on one of the chairs and Viggo sat across from him.
Orlando looked down at his hands again and started to twirl one of his rings.
Viggo waited patiently for him to begin.
“I really don’t know where to start.” He began softly as he twirled the ring again.
Viggo leaned forward and grabbed Orlando’s hand’s startling him. “Start with the other night Orlando, what happened? Why did you leave so suddenly?”
Orlando looked down as Viggos hands grasped his, and they felt so warm and comforting.
“Wow….um…well…. I first want you to know that I didn’t leave because I was scared of having sex with you. Because I wanted too, really.”
Viggo nodded, “That’s good to know, I didn’t want to scare you, I thought maybe I had rushed things.”
“You didn’t Vig..it was… when you went to get the stuff, and the picture of your wife broke.”
“Is that it? Did you feel guilty for that?” He asked. “It wasn’t your fault, I knocked it over, it was my fault.”
“I know Vig, that’s not really it, but that was only the beginning.”
“I don’t understand?” he asked confused. “The beginning of what?”
“After you had left, to find the broom and pan to clean up the glass…I looked at the picture of your wife. She was very beautiful Vig.”
Viggo nodded and whispered a small, thanks.
I was looking at the picture when I felt something on the back of the photo.” He looked at Viggo when he said, this and reached into his pocket. “I…I found this Vig.” He said as he handed the letter back to Viggo.
Viggo reached out with slightly shaky hands and took the letter. “Thank you,” he said and he held the crumpled letter.
“I’m sorry I took it Vig, I wasn’t thinking straight.”
Viggo felt his heart beating hard in his chest. “Why Orlando? Why did you take it? Why would you want to take it?” he asked as he looked into the deep brown eyes.
Orlando bit his lip nervously. “After I had read the letter I understood,” he said with a shaky voice.
Viggo looked at him with a frown. “What do you mean Orli? Understood what?”
“Why I was so attracted to you, and you to me. After I read the letter….I….oh god,” he started to cry, the tears making there way down his cheeks.
“Orlando? What is it? What’s wrong?” he asked as he got down in front of Orlando and held Orlando’s hands to his chest. Tell me please!” he begged. “You’re scaring me.”
Orlando looked toward the sky and prayed for the courage to say what needed to be said.
“About a year or more ago, I had surgery Viggo. I was…very, very ill.”
“Your okay now, right?” he asked suddenly even more worried about the young man.
Orlando gave a small smile, “Yes Viggo, I am, thanks to the surgery I had,” he added.
Viggo felt something was off, he wasn’t sure, but he knew something was…different now. “Orlando?” he asked feeling slightly scared at what he was going to say.
“I had heart surgery Viggo…I had open heart surgery.” He let go of Viggos hands and pulled his shirt up and over his head. He felt his own heart beating loudly against his chest. He felt like it would explode at any second. He placed Viggo’s hand on the scar.
Viggo’s eyes widened as he looked at the long scar down the center of his chest. His hand’s trembling for some reason. He traced the length of the scar with two fingers until it ended and he looked into Orlando’s eyes.
“Viggo, I almost died…until they found a donor for me…” he paused again as the words didn’t want to come from his mouth.
“A donor?” Viggo echoed his words.
“Yes Viggo…a donor. I would have died if they hadn’t taken me into surgery that night and given me my new heart,” he whispered.
Viggo blinked several times as his mind was trying to understand what Orlando’s words were saying. “I…I don’t…” he began shaking his head in confusion.
Viggo,” he said gently as he lifted the mans head so he could look him in the eyes. “That letter…the one I found…on the back of your wife’s picture….I wrote it Viggo.”
“You?” he uttered in disbelief.
“Yes Viggo…me. “ he said sadly. “I was the recipient ….the recipient of your wife’s heart Viggo.”
Silence wrapped itself around Orlando as Viggo still knelt in front of him. His hand still lying on Orlando’s scar.
“Viggo?” he asked finally his voice trembling. “Do you understand what I am telling you?”
Viggo looked into Orlando’s eyes and saw a wetness in them to match his own. “I don’t…I…” his mind raced back to that night. The talk he had with the doctor. He thought back to the words that echoed in his head for so many months after her death. The words that had haunted him. “There is a very ill young man upstairs.” He tried to form words to speak, but his lips only moved silently as the words failed to come forth.
“Viggo!” Orlando pleaded finally having waited for an eternity for the older man to speak. “Say something……please!” he cried.
“How…how long have you known?” he asked quietly.
“Since that night Viggo, I swear I didn’t know till I found the letter; the letter I wrote. Viggo you must believe me!” he pleaded.
“Why…why didn’t you say something before? That you had had open heart surgery?”
“I didn’t want people to feel sorry for me Viggo, I didn’t want people to think less of me. Or treat me like I was fragile and couldn’t do anything on my own.”
Viggo nodded his head slowly and swallowed hard, “That’s why…why you never took your shirt off, that’s why isn’t it?”
Orlando nodded mutely as he sat there with tears streaming down his cheeks.
“That’s why…you didn’t want to have sex wasn’t it? You didn’t want me to see the scar.” He said adding it all together slowly.
“Viggo, I wanted to tell you…I did…but I didn’t know how…and then I found the letter, and I’ve been such a mess since I found it, I didn’t know what to do.”
Viggo got up slowly and turned his back to Orlando and stared out at the waves. His mind was going 100 miles an hour.
“Viggo!” Orlando said softly behind him. “Viggo!” he said again, this time reaching forward and touching his shoulder.
But Viggo flinched away from the touch. “Don’t!” he murmured. “Just…don’t.”
Orlando shivered at the tone of his voice; the distance he felt suddenly grew larger. “Viggo,” he called his name again his voice quivering as he spoke.
Viggo’s heart broke at the distress he heard, but his heart was breaking all over again. As it did when she died. “Orlando, I want you to leave, please…just leave,” he whispered softly as he lowered his head into his hands and his shoulders started to shake.
“Viggo… no…. please….” He cried out in desperation. “I’m sorry…I’m so, so, sorry.” He reached forward again to touch Viggo, any part of Viggo.
Viggo let out a mournful sob as Orlando’s hand touched his shoulder, as if he had been burnt. He walked quickly away from Orlando to the stairs that led to the beach, he then turned and looked at him; the pain so evident on his handsome face. “I need to be alone…please… understand that,” he said, his voice rough. He then turned and headed down the steps. As he hit the sand, he started to run, his breath coming in tormented sobs as he left Orlando behind him… alone on the deck.
Orlando watched, as the figure grew smaller before his eyes. He watched until he couldn’t see him anymore and was swallowed up in the darkness. He was stunned by the turn of events. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be. But yet, he knew, he knew Viggo wouldn’t want him if he told him, he was right all along, and Elijah and Sean were wrong. Why did he even think that it would work out? Why did he even listen to them?
At that moment he felt he was dying all over again. But this time, from a broken heart.
Tbc……..
Chapter 21
Title: A Broken Heart
Beta: No Sorry
Rating: R WARNING!!!!! Much Angst!
Disclaimer: See previous
A/N: Finally the chapter you have been waiting for. Dedicated to rifleman_s for your faithful reviews! Thanks!
Chapter 21
Viggo set the table slowly; trying to make sure everything was set just right. He was careful to place the forks and spoons and napkins precisely were they should be. The wine glasses he aligned with the plates and utensils. He lit the center candle and realized that it looked quite romantic and wondered if Orlando would take things wrong and be worried or pressured? He wanted things to be nice though. He wanted the evening to be relaxing for the younger man.
Viggo had showered much earlier, and had taken the extra time to groom himself to his satisfaction and selected his best clothes. He had even combed his hair, but even now the locks were starting to fall into his eyes.
He glanced nervously at the clock 15 more minutes until Orlando was due to arrive, if he arrived at all that is. He had wondered throughout the day if he would be getting a phone call from him to cancel tonight’s dinner. But so far so good, he thought. He surely wouldn’t cancel this late in the day.
He went and sat on the couch and looked the room over, it looked good. He had cleaned it that morning and hadn’t realized how unkept it had become, he wasn’t known for his tidiness, but he wasn’t a complete slob either. He looked at the clock again and glanced towards the door and listened carefully to see if he heard the sound of Orlando’s car approaching.
The phone rang suddenly and he startled at the shrill ringing. God no, he’s canceling, he thought as he sat there and stared at the phone. The high pitch of the ring was starting to wear on his nerves until he finally got up and answered it.
“Hello?’ he said cautiously as he held the phone to his ear.
“About fucking time you picked up the damn phone mate,” he heard an angry Sean on the other end.
Viggo let out a sigh of relief, and laughed; It wasn’t Orlando, he wasn’t canceling.
“Vig? You there?” he heard the questioning voice on the other end.
“Oh yeah, yeah, I’m sorry Sean I thought….” He trailed off.
“You thought I was Orlando canceling eh?” he asked.
Viggo snorted with laughter, “Yeah Sean I did. I was afraid to answer it, I didn’t want him to cancel.”
“I know Vig, I just called to let you know he’s on his way there.”
“He is? Did you talk to him?”
“Yes and no. I talked to him earlier but Elijah just called and said he had just left. So being the good friend that I am…I thought I would call and let you know.”
Viggo smiled, “Thanks Sean, he should be here any minute then.”
“I know, I just wanted to tell you that to keep an open mind and to listen to what he has to say, okay?”
“I will Sean, I usually don’t have a problem with having an open mind, in fact its very annoying to people at times.”
“That’s good, well I’m going to let you go then and let you prepare for your evening just called for a last minute of advice.”
“Thanks Sean, really…wait, I hear him now, I better go.” He hung the phone up quickly.
Sean pulled the phone away from his ear and just stared at it. “Well…that was rude!” he laughed and laid it down and hoped that things worked out for the two of them.
Orlando pulled up into the drive slowly. He parked the car and sat a few minutes and stared at the house. Deep breaths he told himself. In…out.. in….out. He swallowed and checked to make sure the letter was still in his pants pocket. He opened the door and walked slowly up the walkway until he stood in front of the door. He bit his lip as he struggled to bring his hand up to knock on the door. ”Knock on it,” he hissed quietly. But the door suddenly opened and there stood Viggo with a slight smile on his face.
“You gonna stand there all day?” he asked.
“No, I…I was just getting ready to…um.. knock.” he stuttered.
“Come on in Orli.” He said holding the door open as the young man walked trough.
Orlando looked around the room as he went in, he felt nervous, he felt like a trapped animal that had come into the lion’s den.
“Have a seat Orlando,” he heard from behind him. He tried to hide that the voice hadn’t startled him.
He sat on the edge of the couch and shifted nervously. Viggo had sat down at the other end and noticed how tense and on edge he was. “Orli, I’m not going to bite,” he said trying to lighten the mood.
Orlando looked over at him and saw the smile and gave a little smile back. “I know…I’m just…I’m nervous.”
“I noticed,” Viggo said sadly. “You don’t need to be. You have nothing to fear from me.”
“I know I don’t Viggo. “I just…it’s just…’ he looked down at his hands and looked at the chewed off nails and wondered about chewing some more to help calm him down.
Viggo watched him for a second and decided maybe some wine would calm him. “Would you like some wine Orlando? It might calm you a bit.”
“Yeah…yeah that would be awesome.” He said looking back up. He rubbed his sweaty hands on his pant legs. “Calm down,” he said quietly to himself as he watched Viggo leave the room to get some wine. “Just calm down. Get a grip on things.” he reminded himself.
Viggo returned a moment later with two glasses and a bottle of white wine.” Here,” he said as he poured the wine into the slender glass and handed it to Orlando.
Orlando held out a shaky hand as he took it, trying very hard to calm his hand, and not to let Viggo see how this was affecting him.
Viggo poured his own and sat down on the couch and took a sip. He licked his lips after tasting the wine. “Good?” he asked as he watched Orlando take a gulp.
“Yeah, it’s great,” he said softly as he tried to steady the glass. He looked up at Viggo and gave him a small smile. “Thanks”
“You’re welcome. Dinner is almost ready. It should be buzzing here in a few minutes.”
Orlando nodded his head and took another drink. It felt warm going down his throat and he knew he shouldn’t drink so much at one time, considering how fast he got drunk. He could never handle alcohol very well. He was such a lightweight. He laughed to himself.
Viggo saw the glimmer of mirth on his face. “What’s so funny?” he asked happy that Orlando was smiling, but curious just the same to see what had brought the smile to that beautiful face.
“It’s… just… I’m such a lightweight when it comes to alcohol, and they’ve got this scene with John and I, where I out drink him, it just struck me funny, because I’m such a lightweight when it comes to alcohol.”
Viggo laughed, “Yeah I guess that is funny.” He heard the buzz go of in the kitchen. “Well, that will be dinner.” He said standing up. ‘It will be a minute or so and I’ll come get you, okay?”
Orlando nodded, “Okay, sounds good.” He watched as Viggo walked back into the kitchen to get their dinner out of the oven. It smelled really good, but he didn’t think he could even drum up an appetite to eat it. His stomach was making all sort of odd noises as it was.
He had made an attempt at a speech earlier in the day for telling Viggo about his heart, or rather, her heart, but right now it seemed lame. His mind was starting to go in different directions and he started chewing on his nails again. He tore at the side of the nail with his teeth and tasted a drop of blood from the edge. “Shit!” he whispered to himself.
“Hey Viggo, I’m going to run into the loo real quick okay?” he called out. He heard Viggo say it was fine and to head back to the table when he was done. He quickly walked into the hall and shut the door behind him. He grabbed a piece of toilet paper and dabbed at the tear on his skin. He pressed hard for a few moments and looked at the damage. It still bled slightly and he opened the cupboard looking for band-aids. He moved the items around trying to put them back in their place. He finally found the band-aids and pulled them down off the shelf and quickly opened one and applied it to his finger. As he put the box back in, his hand slowed as he noticed the box of condoms. He placed the package down on the shelf and his heart skipped a beat. He wondered if Viggo thought they would be doing something after their dinner and talk. He felt his hands start to shake and he quickly pulled his hand back as if the box was hot and would burn him, and shut the cabinet door. He stared at himself in the small mirror and noticed his pale complexion. He felt the same butterflies in his stomach increase their pace. He felt like he was going to be sick and quickly leaned over the edge of the sink. He gaged as he felt the urge to throw up overtake him. He coughed at the spasms. He jerked as he heard a sudden knock at the door.
“Orli are you alright?” Viggo asked worriedly.
“I’m fine!” he cried out as soon as he could.
“Are you sure, you don’t sound good?” he asked again.
“No. I’m fine Vig, just give me a minute, okay? He gasped slightly.
Viggo stood outside the door and wondered what was going on; he had heard the odd sound and had listened at the door. It had sounded like he was throwing up, or at least trying to. He hesitated to leave, worried about Orlando. But he thought it best if Orlando did things on his own terms. “I’ll be at the table okay?” he said after a moment.
“Thanks Vig, I’ll be right there alright?” he yelled as he turned the water on and splashed cold water on his face. He leaned against the counter and tried calming his breathing down.
After several minutes he was able to dry his face and maintain a semblance of composure, and opened the door and headed out into the dining area.
Viggo sat there and waited for Orlando to come out, his nerves starting to become frayed themselves as he waited. He was relived though to see him a few minutes later. Looking a little pale but otherwise okay. “You okay?” he asked as he stood up and helped Orlando to sit.
“Yeah, thanks Viggo, everything looks really good!”
“I hope you like spinach lasagna?” he said as he served some on Orlando’s plate.
“Yeah its great, I’m sure it will be great,” he replied.
Viggo served himself and offered the garlic bread to Orlando, which he accepted and nibbled on a corner.
They ate in silence for a few minutes till Viggo spoke finally.
“I’m glad you could come tonight,” he said with a smile on his face.
“Yeah, It was nice that you offered, you know…after….” He paused not wanting to finish the line of thought.
Viggo became silent for a moment. “Orlando, I know we need to talk about what happened the other night. I’m sorry if I pushed you into something you weren’t ready for.”
“No Viggo, that really wasn’t it.” He said quickly before anything else could be said.
Viggo only nodded his head and took another bite. “Let’s eat first and then we’ll talk alright?”
Orlando smiled back, “Okay, how’s your toe by the way?”
“Better, it was a little rough that next day, but I managed. Brett's knee was bothering him too, so Peter tried not to work us to hard. I think he was feeling rather guilty about making us run.” He laughed.
“I’m sure, he hasn’t had that great of luck with his main characters being uninjured.”
“I suppose, how are your ribs?” he asked taking another bite.
“Good… good. Feeling better every day. Thanks for asking.”
“Your welcome.” He responded shifting in his chair.
Orlando played with his fork for a few minutes till he finally put it down on the table. “Vig…I’m sorry but I’m really not up to food tonight.” He said quietly.
Viggo placed his fork down. “I can see that, it’s rather obvious with how nervous you are.”
“Not that it’s not great, it is…but…I feel.. a little..nervous and my stomachs not reponding very well.”
Viggo lay his napkin down on the table. “You want to just talk then?” he asked.
Orlando took a deep breath and glanced up quickly. “Yeah, I think that’s best.”
“Let’s go out on the deck, maybe the fresh air will help, okay?” Viggo suggested as he stood.
Orlando nodded and stood, as he followed Viggo to the patio door, and stepped out into the night air. It made him feel better as he breathed in the fresh air. He sat down on one of the chairs and Viggo sat across from him.
Orlando looked down at his hands again and started to twirl one of his rings.
Viggo waited patiently for him to begin.
“I really don’t know where to start.” He began softly as he twirled the ring again.
Viggo leaned forward and grabbed Orlando’s hand’s startling him. “Start with the other night Orlando, what happened? Why did you leave so suddenly?”
Orlando looked down as Viggos hands grasped his, and they felt so warm and comforting.
“Wow….um…well…. I first want you to know that I didn’t leave because I was scared of having sex with you. Because I wanted too, really.”
Viggo nodded, “That’s good to know, I didn’t want to scare you, I thought maybe I had rushed things.”
“You didn’t Vig..it was… when you went to get the stuff, and the picture of your wife broke.”
“Is that it? Did you feel guilty for that?” He asked. “It wasn’t your fault, I knocked it over, it was my fault.”
“I know Vig, that’s not really it, but that was only the beginning.”
“I don’t understand?” he asked confused. “The beginning of what?”
“After you had left, to find the broom and pan to clean up the glass…I looked at the picture of your wife. She was very beautiful Vig.”
Viggo nodded and whispered a small, thanks.
I was looking at the picture when I felt something on the back of the photo.” He looked at Viggo when he said, this and reached into his pocket. “I…I found this Vig.” He said as he handed the letter back to Viggo.
Viggo reached out with slightly shaky hands and took the letter. “Thank you,” he said and he held the crumpled letter.
“I’m sorry I took it Vig, I wasn’t thinking straight.”
Viggo felt his heart beating hard in his chest. “Why Orlando? Why did you take it? Why would you want to take it?” he asked as he looked into the deep brown eyes.
Orlando bit his lip nervously. “After I had read the letter I understood,” he said with a shaky voice.
Viggo looked at him with a frown. “What do you mean Orli? Understood what?”
“Why I was so attracted to you, and you to me. After I read the letter….I….oh god,” he started to cry, the tears making there way down his cheeks.
“Orlando? What is it? What’s wrong?” he asked as he got down in front of Orlando and held Orlando’s hands to his chest. Tell me please!” he begged. “You’re scaring me.”
Orlando looked toward the sky and prayed for the courage to say what needed to be said.
“About a year or more ago, I had surgery Viggo. I was…very, very ill.”
“Your okay now, right?” he asked suddenly even more worried about the young man.
Orlando gave a small smile, “Yes Viggo, I am, thanks to the surgery I had,” he added.
Viggo felt something was off, he wasn’t sure, but he knew something was…different now. “Orlando?” he asked feeling slightly scared at what he was going to say.
“I had heart surgery Viggo…I had open heart surgery.” He let go of Viggos hands and pulled his shirt up and over his head. He felt his own heart beating loudly against his chest. He felt like it would explode at any second. He placed Viggo’s hand on the scar.
Viggo’s eyes widened as he looked at the long scar down the center of his chest. His hand’s trembling for some reason. He traced the length of the scar with two fingers until it ended and he looked into Orlando’s eyes.
“Viggo, I almost died…until they found a donor for me…” he paused again as the words didn’t want to come from his mouth.
“A donor?” Viggo echoed his words.
“Yes Viggo…a donor. I would have died if they hadn’t taken me into surgery that night and given me my new heart,” he whispered.
Viggo blinked several times as his mind was trying to understand what Orlando’s words were saying. “I…I don’t…” he began shaking his head in confusion.
Viggo,” he said gently as he lifted the mans head so he could look him in the eyes. “That letter…the one I found…on the back of your wife’s picture….I wrote it Viggo.”
“You?” he uttered in disbelief.
“Yes Viggo…me. “ he said sadly. “I was the recipient ….the recipient of your wife’s heart Viggo.”
Silence wrapped itself around Orlando as Viggo still knelt in front of him. His hand still lying on Orlando’s scar.
“Viggo?” he asked finally his voice trembling. “Do you understand what I am telling you?”
Viggo looked into Orlando’s eyes and saw a wetness in them to match his own. “I don’t…I…” his mind raced back to that night. The talk he had with the doctor. He thought back to the words that echoed in his head for so many months after her death. The words that had haunted him. “There is a very ill young man upstairs.” He tried to form words to speak, but his lips only moved silently as the words failed to come forth.
“Viggo!” Orlando pleaded finally having waited for an eternity for the older man to speak. “Say something……please!” he cried.
“How…how long have you known?” he asked quietly.
“Since that night Viggo, I swear I didn’t know till I found the letter; the letter I wrote. Viggo you must believe me!” he pleaded.
“Why…why didn’t you say something before? That you had had open heart surgery?”
“I didn’t want people to feel sorry for me Viggo, I didn’t want people to think less of me. Or treat me like I was fragile and couldn’t do anything on my own.”
Viggo nodded his head slowly and swallowed hard, “That’s why…why you never took your shirt off, that’s why isn’t it?”
Orlando nodded mutely as he sat there with tears streaming down his cheeks.
“That’s why…you didn’t want to have sex wasn’t it? You didn’t want me to see the scar.” He said adding it all together slowly.
“Viggo, I wanted to tell you…I did…but I didn’t know how…and then I found the letter, and I’ve been such a mess since I found it, I didn’t know what to do.”
Viggo got up slowly and turned his back to Orlando and stared out at the waves. His mind was going 100 miles an hour.
“Viggo!” Orlando said softly behind him. “Viggo!” he said again, this time reaching forward and touching his shoulder.
But Viggo flinched away from the touch. “Don’t!” he murmured. “Just…don’t.”
Orlando shivered at the tone of his voice; the distance he felt suddenly grew larger. “Viggo,” he called his name again his voice quivering as he spoke.
Viggo’s heart broke at the distress he heard, but his heart was breaking all over again. As it did when she died. “Orlando, I want you to leave, please…just leave,” he whispered softly as he lowered his head into his hands and his shoulders started to shake.
“Viggo… no…. please….” He cried out in desperation. “I’m sorry…I’m so, so, sorry.” He reached forward again to touch Viggo, any part of Viggo.
Viggo let out a mournful sob as Orlando’s hand touched his shoulder, as if he had been burnt. He walked quickly away from Orlando to the stairs that led to the beach, he then turned and looked at him; the pain so evident on his handsome face. “I need to be alone…please… understand that,” he said, his voice rough. He then turned and headed down the steps. As he hit the sand, he started to run, his breath coming in tormented sobs as he left Orlando behind him… alone on the deck.
Orlando watched, as the figure grew smaller before his eyes. He watched until he couldn’t see him anymore and was swallowed up in the darkness. He was stunned by the turn of events. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be. But yet, he knew, he knew Viggo wouldn’t want him if he told him, he was right all along, and Elijah and Sean were wrong. Why did he even think that it would work out? Why did he even listen to them?
At that moment he felt he was dying all over again. But this time, from a broken heart.
Tbc……..
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...that just broke my heart.
Date: 2006-08-03 10:04 am (UTC)This was such a heart-wrenching yet beautiful chapter...This right here-->>>"Viggo let out a mournful sob as Orlando’s hand touched his shoulder, as if he had been burnt. He walked quickly away from Orlando to the stairs that led to the beach, he then turned and looked at him; the pain so evident on his handsome face. “I need to be alone…please… understand that,” he said, his voice rough. He then turned and headed down the steps. As he hit the sand, he started to run, his breath coming in tormented sobs as he left Orlando behind him… alone on the deck."<<<--is when the tears started. Then the very last line..."At that moment he felt he was dying all over again. But this time, from a broken heart."...that just broke my heart.
I really need to know what happens now, so I'll be waiting somewhat patiently...
~C~
Re: ...that just broke my heart.
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Date: 2006-08-04 10:51 am (UTC)And what a delicious chapter!
Had a bit of a giggle at Viggo at first - ”he had even combed his hair” - lovely touch!! But then the tables are turned as he finds himself the nervous one – not even able to be polite to Sean!
I printed this out and took it home to read, so that I wouldn’t be distracted at work and I’m glad I did for I shed a quiet tear for Orlando! Poor boy, making himself almost ill with worry and then having to make THE confession!
”Viggo looked into Orlando’s eyes and saw a wetness in them to match his own” - just such a tender, sweet image. How could I not weep a little?
Orlando showed enormous courage in trusting Viggo to make sense of things, but Viggo’s reaction was quite a surprise! I’d expected him see the connection, but for the moment he doesn’t seem able to accept anything. It almost seems that Orlando’s the more mature of the two! He’s accepted what’s happened but Viggo can’t . . . or won’t? . . . only time will tell!
It was a wonderful ‘revelation’ chapter, even though I’m not sure where it might be leading!
I thank you so much again for making it “mine”! I’m most honoured!
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Date: 2006-08-05 12:28 am (UTC)More to come and keep leaving the great reviews. They are the highlight of an authors story!
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Date: 2006-08-06 01:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-08-06 08:44 pm (UTC)