vigorli

Title: That's Why
Author: blurblely
Pairing: Viggorli
Disclaimer: Everything I wrote is a lie.
Rating: G, actually, if you overlook one naughty word.
Summary: Leaving New Zealand.
Warnings: Angsty for a bit. I took liberties with time frames (not sure exactly how long they spent filming there, and I realize Viggo only had a very short time to make his decision about whether to take the job) and with clothing (I guess Viggo probably didn't wear leggings).
Feedback: would be the bee's knees.

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Life is full of beginnings and Viggo hates beginnings. Because beginnings imply endings and beginnings bring along with them new things, new people, new situations and only if he’s lucky will he be allowed to retain some of the good from before his last ending. In his experience, whenever he had come to a new beginning, he’d always lost something important to him that he could never get back. That’s why it took so much pestering from Henry to get him to go to New Zealand in the first place. And why it took him so long to get along with the cast, why he had to be Aragorn all the time, couldn’t be Viggo or they’d know him, and know how to get at him; why it took a man with a mohawk and a mad look in his eye practically kidnapping him to make him admit it to himself. He thought if he could hide himself behind a character, that if no one really knew him, then he wouldn’t lose a part of himself this time. What Viggo didn’t realize back then was that he already had, that there was no way to avoid it, that losing a part of himself was the whole point; because if he was all-Viggo-all-the-time, how could someone else ever get in?

In just a few short minutes Viggo will be boarding a plane to another country and who knows what will happen; if he’ll ever be back here, if he’ll keep in touch with all his now-old friends, if he’ll ever see Orli’s beautiful smile again? The very smile that’s so heart-breakingly bright right now. Viggo thinks that Orlando might actually be happy to be leaving, that he is tired of spending all of his time staring into the same face everyday, that though they had been basically living in each other’s leggings for the past year and a half, Orlando might actually be looking forward to getting away from Viggo. What Viggo’s even more scared of, more scared of than losing Orli altogether, is seeing Orli again and having it not be right. Because he knows that they’ll change, that when they reconvene they won’t be who they used to be, and it’ll rankle with the way he remembers Orli being. Time will take away his brilliant mohawked man-child, and leave in his place a stranger. And as much as Viggo hates to admit it, he’s not sure if that stranger will be someone he wants to know. Viggo’s always hated running into someone from his past, because he couldn’t remember which Viggo they wanted, but he was certain at least that he was no longer that person and he couldn’t be two Viggos at once. He’s scared that Orli will want him to be who he used to be, and he won’t be able.

That’s why Viggo’s eyes are downcast, why he’s sweatily squeezing Orlando’s hand like he’s desperately clinging to this moment, fucked up as it is, because it might be the last he ever sees of Orli and the very thought of it makes him sick. Because he wants nothing more than to be the something good that Orli takes with him to all his next beginnings, that’s why.

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Life is full of endings and Orlando loves endings. Because endings imply beginnings and beginnings bring along with them new things, new people, new situations; because he can bring along all the good things and experiences from all the wonderful people he’s known and make all his new experiences even better. Orlando loves to learn, which is why he embraces changes, whether good or bad, because he knows they will teach him something. Maybe that’s why people think he’s simple; because to him life is a shiny object and he is a kitten all too pleased to bat it around and see where it rolls. But he’s far from stupid and though he may be upbeat, he’s not made of stone. He knows those tears misting Viggo’s eyes are from fear of what comes next. He knows Viggo’s afraid of being alone, of never being understood again, of not being loved in return; he hasn’t said so out loud but Orlando knows Viggo well enough to know that he’ll be missed. He’s not a cold person and he hates the tormented look that’s hijacked Viggo’s features.

He knows all this, so that’s why he leans into Viggo, full-bodied-like, and warm, and kisses him softly on the lips, trying to infuse some of his happiness into Viggo, trying to lick a little bit of faith into him. That’s why he whispers, gently tickling Viggo’s confused ear with the heat of the promise in his breath, “Don’t worry, Vig. We have our whole future ahead of us.” He has faith; that’s why unlike Viggo, Orlando’s not scared. Because he knows they’ll meet again and it’ll be wonderful, because two people so right for one another could not possibly be fated to become strangers. Because he’ll make it happen, that’s why.
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End Notes: I used the word "mad" to mean crazy not angry. I used the term "man-child" to refer to Orlando in a positive way--not that he's slow mentally, but that he's vibrant and youthful. I used run-on sentences and sentence fragments stylistically (to make it sound more like thought rather than writing). In my mind, in this story, Orlando is happy and confident and sure that they will be together. Viggo is sad and insecure and sure that they won't be together. Who is right? Personally, I choose Orlando because his way's hotter. I hope this story was clear and didn't come out all muddled sounding because I can never tell how it will sound.