vigorli

Title: What are you doing New Year’s Eve (Chapter 4 of 5)
Author: lauralynn22

Pairing: Viggo/Orlando
Rating: NC-17 overall
Summary: A Lonely New Years Eve
Warnings: Angst, Romance, Erotica
Disclaimer: I don’t own them or know their personal lives, it’s all in my mind
Beta: willowing
A/N: It’s a song, I did not write it. Harry Connick Jr does it best

Dedication: To the Wonderful

aflon

What were they doing? ‘Falling into old habits,’ Orlando thought.

“Making conversation?” he asked hopefully.

“We can’t keep doing this Orlando.”

“Why?”

“It hurts.”

Orlando heard the hitch in Viggo’s voice and it broke his heart.

“Are you saying we can’t be friends anymore, or talk anymore?”

Viggo sighed and contemplated his answer. Orlando always being impatient asked, “Don’t you want me anymore?”

“Dammit Orlando! You can’t keep doing this to me. You can’t go for months without talking to me, and then want to go on as if nothing happened.”

Silence stretched on between them, neither of them giving in or hanging up.

Viggo broke first.

“I’ll always want you, Orlando, always. You fill my dreams as you have always filled my heart.” Viggo’s voice broke on the last word.

“I’m sorr...” Orlando started.

“Don’t say it.” Viggo warned.

“But I have to, I need to.” Orlando was shaking. “I’m sorry, Viggo, for everything. For not being honest with you, for not being there, for all the promises I didn’t keep. But most of all I’m sorry for not being who you wanted me to be.”

“I want you to be you. That’s all I’ve ever wanted,” Viggo started to explain.

“Do you know who that is? Because I don’t.” Orlando felt both lost and found in Viggo’s words.

“I know an Orlando who wouldn’t blow off his friends for a PR opportunity. I know an Orlando who takes chances. I know an Orlando who doesn’t lie to the people that matter in his life, and I know an Orlando who loves with all his heart,” he said, hoping the words would make a difference.

Orlando breathed. For the first time in a long time, he breathed. “I want to be that person.”

“You can be anyone you want to be. But, YOU have to want it. You can’t keep letting people make decisions for you. You have to decide what matters,” Viggo replied.

“If I say that you matter to me, what would you say?” Orlando asked.

“Are we back to playing 20 questions?”

“No.”

"Then I would say I miss you too."