Shadows of life - Chapter 4
Sep. 9th, 2008 05:55 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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vigorliTitle: Shadows of life - Chapter 4
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
obvmluver
Beta: The wonderfullittlegreenleaf.
Rating: NC-17 in the end.
Pairing: Viggo/Karl, eventually Viggo/Orlando
Summary: When everything seems to spiral downwards, is a human being able to rise from the ashes?
Warnings: Violence, if you look closely enough.
Disclaimer: I wish I knew the boys but I don't. I also don't make any profit with this.
Crossposted to a lot of places... Please don't nail me for that.
Banner made by a good friend, pale80.
4
Orlando woke up around 10:00 am. He took a shower and enjoyed the warm water cascading over his shoulders. It was somehow relaxing. Then, as he had dried and pulled on his boxers he shaved what little hair he had. The side effect of the attempted treatment had kicked in a little stronger than he would have liked. It was a hard task to complete. The last time Orlando shaved his head was years ago in New Zealand and then again for Black Hawk Down. That alone brought memories back of better times.
The breakfast, coffee and a few slices of toast didn’t taste like much but he ate it anyway. It would be hours before he got something to eat. Today was Viggo and Karl’s wedding day. The civil ceremony would start at 2:00 pm.
Orlando had called himself a cab and stepped out giving the driver a sizable tip. Just as he had climbed out and straightened his suit jacket, he jumped up slightly startled.
“Bloody hell, Bloom. You look like shit!” It was a good friend of his, Sean Bean.
“Keep your voice down!” Orlando hissed. “And good to see you too.”
“What in the world...?” Sean attempted to ask all the while gesturing towards how Orlando looked like now.
“Long story.”
“Is that for a movie perhaps? You back in the industry?”
Orlando smiled sadly squeezing his eyes shut and pinching the bridge of his nose. “I wish I was.” A long silence stretched between them. Sean’s smile faded.
“What’s wrong?”
“I’m sick.” Orlando sniffed. He knew he already had revealed too much.
“Sick? How sick? Tell me ‘cause I don’t understand.”
The warm hand on Orlando’s shoulder broke him. “This isn’t for any role in any movie, Beanie. I lost my hair. The meds had a nice side effect, you know. I thought it best to shave what little I had not to look like an alien. I’ve been fighting against leukemia for a while now.”
Sean’s jaw dropped. “But why haven’t you said anything, called? I’m sure there would have been something I could have done.”
“I know I could have. I just... I felt like this is something I have to do on my own. And as much as I appreciate your offer...you being there wouldn’t have erased my illness. I would still have been ill. And the nausea would still have been there no matter had I company or not. But I’m thankful that you said what you said.” Orlando smiled a small grateful smile. Sean stared at him. It was hard to believe that someone like Orlando would fall ill. Hadn’t he suffered enough? Pulling Orlando into a hug Sean squeezed him hard. The burden on Orlando’s shoulders felt a little lighter.
The guests started walking in and Orlando waved at Elijah, Dom and Billy leaving them gaping after him. Offering a brave smile to those already inside, he saw a glimpse of Viggo at the back. “Save a seat for me, will you?” he asked Sean who nodded and walked away. His heart beating like a hammer he knocked on the doorframe.
Viggo looked up from his task of buttoning up his shirt. Orlando felt a certain uneasiness seep into his very core, the uneasiness he knew was pure sadness and heartbreak. He stared at Viggo’s partially covered chest for a few seconds before lifting his gaze and meeting an intense gaze that was all too familiar. “Orli...” Viggo breathed and hugged his former lover.
“Hey, Vig. I just came in to give you this.” Orlando handed Viggo a wrapped gift. “I didn’t want everyone to see it. It’s for you and Karl only. Open it when you two are hitched.” With a sad smile and a wink Orlando backed out of the room and Viggo finished buttoning up. Little did Orlando know Karl had seen their hug and now Karl was furious with jealousy. Orlando then found his seat beside Sean and sat down.
~*~
Orlando couldn’t really follow the beautiful and love- filled ceremony. Keeping his head down, he listened to Viggo vow himself to someone else. Everything was like a stab in his already bleeding heart; hurt just as much, every single word Viggo promised Karl. Orlando realize he had finally lost Viggo and all the hope he had been holding on to the past years, ever since he realized he had made a mistake. Fighting against breaking down, without anyone noticing he covered his face to try to stop the tears from falling, from everybody seeing how weak he was. The announcement that Viggo and Karl were now a married couple felt like someone twisted the knife in his heart. But there was nothing he could do now. He had to accept the fact that Viggo belonged to Karl now, and Karl to Viggo. There was no place for him anymore.
The nausea made itself known. Orlando looked up to see Viggo smiling at Karl, just after kissing him. Suddenly Orlando felt like he couldn’t get enough air in his lungs. He wanted to disappear; to be somewhere else. A tiny fragment of him wished he wouldn’t survive the transplantation. That way he’d be saved from feeling the ugly heartbreak and loneliness. That way he’d be saved from feeling anything at all.
Orlando forced himself to stand up and applaud for the wedded couple. And when the guests were allowed to leave their seats Orlando hurried out. He felt like vomiting and he was gasping for air. Sean came running after him. “Are you okay?” he asked placing a hand on Orlando’s back.
“No.” Orlando whispered. Sean could easily guess why.
Sean Bean had been the first to know about the affair between the ranger and the elf. He had, by accident, seen them kissing between the trailers one night after coming from a local pub. He had closely watched the relationship build up to a blossoming one and how it crumbled into pieces later on. Sean stepped aside, made his way to congratulate Viggo while Karl marched towards Orlando.
“What was that about?” grabbing Orlando’s arm he demanded in a hissed tone.
“What was what about?” Orlando asked back perplexed.
“I saw you and Vig in the back room.”
“Oh, that. I gave him a present.”
“And it never occurred to you that I might want to know about it?”
“Does it matter who I give it to since it’s for you both?”
“I can’t stand you near Viggo. You may be his friend but I’m with him.”
“Yeah. You might be with him now but I was there first.” Orlando let out a bashful smile. “Remember that, will you? Anyway, I am in no way about to stand between you two. You have to understand it.” Orlando’s shining face turned into a sad one. “I am only happy you are with him. I know Viggo is safe. I can go to sleep light hearted because I know you are there when I can’t be. There’s a possibility I’m not going to be here next year. You, on the other hand, are. You make Viggo happy and that is all I want, have always wanted.”
“What are you saying?”
“I’m saying there are things I have to learn to let go of, people I have to say goodbye to, just in case the worst happens. I have to let go of Viggo, of memories about him. That way I can save others from feeling heartbreak, to lessen the pain and hurt I hold inside.”
“Stop talking in riddles!”
“I have leukemia, Karl. The only way I can survive is a bone marrow transplant. It’s my only option left and if it fails... then I’ll be dead before I turn thirty-three. You happy now? Let go of my arm. I’m bruised enough as it is. I don’t need any more of those from you.” Wrenching his arm free before Karl could do anything Orlando walked away.
Author:
obvmluverBeta: The wonderful
littlegreenleaf.Rating: NC-17 in the end.
Pairing: Viggo/Karl, eventually Viggo/Orlando
Summary: When everything seems to spiral downwards, is a human being able to rise from the ashes?
Warnings: Violence, if you look closely enough.
Disclaimer: I wish I knew the boys but I don't. I also don't make any profit with this.
Crossposted to a lot of places... Please don't nail me for that.
Banner made by a good friend, pale80.4
Orlando woke up around 10:00 am. He took a shower and enjoyed the warm water cascading over his shoulders. It was somehow relaxing. Then, as he had dried and pulled on his boxers he shaved what little hair he had. The side effect of the attempted treatment had kicked in a little stronger than he would have liked. It was a hard task to complete. The last time Orlando shaved his head was years ago in New Zealand and then again for Black Hawk Down. That alone brought memories back of better times.
The breakfast, coffee and a few slices of toast didn’t taste like much but he ate it anyway. It would be hours before he got something to eat. Today was Viggo and Karl’s wedding day. The civil ceremony would start at 2:00 pm.
Orlando had called himself a cab and stepped out giving the driver a sizable tip. Just as he had climbed out and straightened his suit jacket, he jumped up slightly startled.
“Bloody hell, Bloom. You look like shit!” It was a good friend of his, Sean Bean.
“Keep your voice down!” Orlando hissed. “And good to see you too.”
“What in the world...?” Sean attempted to ask all the while gesturing towards how Orlando looked like now.
“Long story.”
“Is that for a movie perhaps? You back in the industry?”
Orlando smiled sadly squeezing his eyes shut and pinching the bridge of his nose. “I wish I was.” A long silence stretched between them. Sean’s smile faded.
“What’s wrong?”
“I’m sick.” Orlando sniffed. He knew he already had revealed too much.
“Sick? How sick? Tell me ‘cause I don’t understand.”
The warm hand on Orlando’s shoulder broke him. “This isn’t for any role in any movie, Beanie. I lost my hair. The meds had a nice side effect, you know. I thought it best to shave what little I had not to look like an alien. I’ve been fighting against leukemia for a while now.”
Sean’s jaw dropped. “But why haven’t you said anything, called? I’m sure there would have been something I could have done.”
“I know I could have. I just... I felt like this is something I have to do on my own. And as much as I appreciate your offer...you being there wouldn’t have erased my illness. I would still have been ill. And the nausea would still have been there no matter had I company or not. But I’m thankful that you said what you said.” Orlando smiled a small grateful smile. Sean stared at him. It was hard to believe that someone like Orlando would fall ill. Hadn’t he suffered enough? Pulling Orlando into a hug Sean squeezed him hard. The burden on Orlando’s shoulders felt a little lighter.
The guests started walking in and Orlando waved at Elijah, Dom and Billy leaving them gaping after him. Offering a brave smile to those already inside, he saw a glimpse of Viggo at the back. “Save a seat for me, will you?” he asked Sean who nodded and walked away. His heart beating like a hammer he knocked on the doorframe.
Viggo looked up from his task of buttoning up his shirt. Orlando felt a certain uneasiness seep into his very core, the uneasiness he knew was pure sadness and heartbreak. He stared at Viggo’s partially covered chest for a few seconds before lifting his gaze and meeting an intense gaze that was all too familiar. “Orli...” Viggo breathed and hugged his former lover.
“Hey, Vig. I just came in to give you this.” Orlando handed Viggo a wrapped gift. “I didn’t want everyone to see it. It’s for you and Karl only. Open it when you two are hitched.” With a sad smile and a wink Orlando backed out of the room and Viggo finished buttoning up. Little did Orlando know Karl had seen their hug and now Karl was furious with jealousy. Orlando then found his seat beside Sean and sat down.
~*~
Orlando couldn’t really follow the beautiful and love- filled ceremony. Keeping his head down, he listened to Viggo vow himself to someone else. Everything was like a stab in his already bleeding heart; hurt just as much, every single word Viggo promised Karl. Orlando realize he had finally lost Viggo and all the hope he had been holding on to the past years, ever since he realized he had made a mistake. Fighting against breaking down, without anyone noticing he covered his face to try to stop the tears from falling, from everybody seeing how weak he was. The announcement that Viggo and Karl were now a married couple felt like someone twisted the knife in his heart. But there was nothing he could do now. He had to accept the fact that Viggo belonged to Karl now, and Karl to Viggo. There was no place for him anymore.
The nausea made itself known. Orlando looked up to see Viggo smiling at Karl, just after kissing him. Suddenly Orlando felt like he couldn’t get enough air in his lungs. He wanted to disappear; to be somewhere else. A tiny fragment of him wished he wouldn’t survive the transplantation. That way he’d be saved from feeling the ugly heartbreak and loneliness. That way he’d be saved from feeling anything at all.
Orlando forced himself to stand up and applaud for the wedded couple. And when the guests were allowed to leave their seats Orlando hurried out. He felt like vomiting and he was gasping for air. Sean came running after him. “Are you okay?” he asked placing a hand on Orlando’s back.
“No.” Orlando whispered. Sean could easily guess why.
Sean Bean had been the first to know about the affair between the ranger and the elf. He had, by accident, seen them kissing between the trailers one night after coming from a local pub. He had closely watched the relationship build up to a blossoming one and how it crumbled into pieces later on. Sean stepped aside, made his way to congratulate Viggo while Karl marched towards Orlando.
“What was that about?” grabbing Orlando’s arm he demanded in a hissed tone.
“What was what about?” Orlando asked back perplexed.
“I saw you and Vig in the back room.”
“Oh, that. I gave him a present.”
“And it never occurred to you that I might want to know about it?”
“Does it matter who I give it to since it’s for you both?”
“I can’t stand you near Viggo. You may be his friend but I’m with him.”
“Yeah. You might be with him now but I was there first.” Orlando let out a bashful smile. “Remember that, will you? Anyway, I am in no way about to stand between you two. You have to understand it.” Orlando’s shining face turned into a sad one. “I am only happy you are with him. I know Viggo is safe. I can go to sleep light hearted because I know you are there when I can’t be. There’s a possibility I’m not going to be here next year. You, on the other hand, are. You make Viggo happy and that is all I want, have always wanted.”
“What are you saying?”
“I’m saying there are things I have to learn to let go of, people I have to say goodbye to, just in case the worst happens. I have to let go of Viggo, of memories about him. That way I can save others from feeling heartbreak, to lessen the pain and hurt I hold inside.”
“Stop talking in riddles!”
“I have leukemia, Karl. The only way I can survive is a bone marrow transplant. It’s my only option left and if it fails... then I’ll be dead before I turn thirty-three. You happy now? Let go of my arm. I’m bruised enough as it is. I don’t need any more of those from you.” Wrenching his arm free before Karl could do anything Orlando walked away.
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