Waking Nightmare

[belle-lestrange.livejournal.com]

Title: Waking Nightmare
Author: Greenleaf
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: OB/VM
Summary: Strange things are happening to Orlando. At first he thinks it is just a joke of his friends, but things start to get even scarier with time and he painfully experiences, that this weren't jokes.......
Will Viggo be able to help him after his waking nightmare?

*Warnings* Angst, Violence, Rape

Feedback: Yes pleaaaaaaaaaaaase *holds up starving author sign* I love feedback even more than getting presents

Disclaimer: None of them belongs to me (sadly), nothing of this did really happen
Beta: The wonderful and awesome slashfairy. Thank you *hug*







Chapter Fourteen - New beginnings

Viggo sat down on the sofa in the trailer, waiting for Orlando. Over three months had passed and things were somehow back to normal. A few weeks ago Orlando had started to work again. He had been insecure and afraid of the first day back on set, but when everyone had welcomed him back as if he had never left, Orlando gained back his self-confidence. He was quieter than before, and not so close with everyone, but mostly he was back to normal. He would joke with the Hobbits and tease Sean and Ian. His smile was back although sometimes Viggo realized dark clouds veiling the now again sparkling stars in Orlando’s eyes. Sometimes his mood would change within seconds; the smile would vanish from his face, and was replaced with pain. Orlando tried to open up, but he wouldn’t always make it. Fear would pull him back behind his safe walls every now and then. But he was improving. He definitely was. Viggo was the one realizing it the most. Orlando had moved in with him. They had never discussed it, it simply was like that. He had started to paint in Viggo’s studio, when he needed time alone or wanted to sort out his thoughts. Viggo suspected that painting was another kind of therapy for Orlando. He had been surprised when Orlando had asked him if he could use the studio and his things, but was more than willing to grant Orlando his wish. Everything to make him happy.

Orlando was getting along with everyone, but he spent most of his time with Viggo. Some silent understanding had passed between them; Viggo knew when Orlando needed his help without the young man saying a word. He knew when it became too much and Orlando needed peace. They didn’t go out in the evening with the others like they used to. They had tried once and it had ended with Viggo leading a hysterical Orlando out of the pub. The crowded room had been too much for Orlando, and he had started to panic. There were too many people, in too small a space. Orlando couldn’t stand too much closeness and in the small pub various people had bumped into him. It had taken half an hour until Orlando had calmed down. He couldn’t stand to be touched by people he didn’t know.

“Ready?” Orlando smiled at Viggo, picking up his bag from the floor.

“Sure, I was ready to leave a while ago. It’s always the prissy elf-boy who needs a long time to get ready.” Viggo stood up and walked towards the car, laughing when Orlando punched his shoulder.

“Git.”

In moments like this Viggo could nearly believe that everything was normal again. Ordinary things had become so precious for him. Things like Orlando humming along to a song on the radio on their way home.

The comfortable silence between them lasted until they entered the house and Orlando dropped his bag.

“Do you want something to eat?”

Orlando yawned.

“No, not really. Guess I’ll just take a shower and go to bed. I’m exhausted.” The shoot was draining strength from all of them, but it was even harder for Orlando. He had to deal with a lot more than the rest of them.

“Alright. Tell me if you need anything.” Viggo smiled, going in the kitchen to make something for himself. Twenty minutes later he went upstairs, carrying a cup of tea for Orlando. He put it on the nightstand, smiling when he saw that Orlando was already sprawled out on his side of the bed. After Viggo had spent several nights in a chair next to the bed, until Orlando awoke from a nightmare, and he held him until they both fell asleep, they had decided that it made no sense for Viggo to sleep in the chair for a few hours.

Orlando cracked one eye open at the sound of Viggo entering the room. He yawned before he lazily sat up and reached for the cup of tea.

“Thanks Vig.”

Viggo simply smiled, then turned around to change his clothes while Orlando drank his tea and watched a show on TV without real interest. Once he was finished he put the mug back on the nightstand and pulled the blanket over himself, waiting for Viggo. The Dane took one of his notebooks and pen from his nightstand, before he sat on the bed, leaning against the headboard. Orlando scooted closer, nestling against Viggo’s side before closing his eyes. It was one of their evening routines. Orlando would watch TV or fall asleep instantly, while Viggo held him and wrote or read something. Orlando felt safe when Viggo held him, but there was still a distance between them. Viggo often had to hold himself back; otherwise he would’ve pulled Orlando even closer and kissed him. He knew that Orlando wasn’t ready, probably never would be, but he couldn’t help his feelings. The thought that he would be together with Orlando, without really being together, hurt. It was way better than nothing, the desire and love didn’t vanish though. Viggo couldn’t live without Orlando, but sometimes he thought he also couldn’t live with him because his love would kill him. Orlando’s sleepy voice startled Viggo from his thoughts.

“Nigh’ Vig.”

“Night elf-boy.” Viggo’s hand stroked over Orlando’s back, feeling the warmth of the skin through the fabric of the shirt. His hand came to a rest on the lower back, while he opened his notebook with his free hand. The steady breathing gave away that Orlando was asleep a few minutes later.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Viggo awoke the next morning with the feeling of being watched. He cracked his eyes open, blinking until his vision cleared. When he looked down he found brown eyes looking up at him. Viggo raised an eyebrow, shifting a little. Orlando was snuggled against him, while has arms were wrapped around the lithe body. A position not unfamiliar; they often awoke like this. What really made Viggo feel terrible insecure was the way Orlando looked at him. The brown eyes seemed dark, still clouded with sleep. But there was something, some intensity, as if Orlando could see straight into his very soul. They lay there, looking at each other without saying a word for long seconds.

“Morning.” Viggo finally rasped his voice rough from sleep. Orlando smiled; Viggo could tell it from the way his eyes lit up.

“Morning Vig.” Orlando studied Viggo’s face a few more seconds, then leaned up and placed a light kiss on his cheek, before he snuggled against the other man’s body again. Viggo felt as if his skin had been burned where Orlando’s lips had touched it. Heat radiated through his body.

“What was that for?” He managed to ask, smiling to himself.

“Just because.” Orlando mumbled against Viggo’s neck.

“I like ‘just because’ then.” Viggo decided, pulling Orlando a little bit closer.

“Yes, just because is wonderful.” Orlando agreed, silently sighing in relief. He had been afraid that Viggo would push him away. It had been a simple, chaste kiss but Orlando had to gather together all of his courage to do it. It was another step towards a normal life. Maybe “someday” wasn’t so far away anymore. He wanted to be close to Viggo, he wanted to be loved, but it was hard to ask for it.

They lay there in silence, simply enjoying the stillness and beauty of the moment. The shrill sound of the alarm clock brought them back to reality very abruptly.

“I fear we have to get up and face another day with the Hobbits.” Viggo grinned slightly while Orlando grumbled.

“Can’t we stay in bed a bit longer?”

“No, I fear that’s not possible, elf-boy.” Viggo’s hand stroked absently over Orlando’s back.
“But tomorrow is Sunday. We can stay in bed as long as you like tomorrow.”

Orlando sighed, but nodded his agreement and sat up, stretching lazily.

“Go, take a shower prissy elf. I’m going to make breakfast.” Viggo stood up, smiling at Orlando before he went downstairs. He knew that the muscles of Orlando’s back were always stiff in the morning. A hot shower would solve that.

Someone who would watch from afar would think they resembled a married couple. They knew about each others habits, likes, and dislikes. They knew what the other one was going to say, or how he would react. They shared a bed. The only difference to a couple was that they had never kissed.

When Orlando came downstairs again, Viggo had set up the small table in the kitchen and breakfast was ready. They ate in silence, until Viggo looked up and saw the light smile on Orlando’s face.

“It’s good to see you smile.”

Orlando looked up, confusion clouding the dark eyes.

“What?”

“It’s good to see you smile again.” Viggo repeated. It was really good. Orlando was far from leading a normal life, but it was wonderful that he was able to smile again.

“Oh.” Orlando blushed, taking a sip of his tea.

“You know…I…there were times when…I thought I’d never be able to smile again.” He finally mumbled, eyes shifting to Viggo insecurely.

“I know. So it is even better now that you are smiling again.” Viggo knew too well how hard it was for Orlando to talk about his feelings or of what had happened, so he was grateful that he was the one Orlando was talking too.

“Yes…yes it is. I just feel…good. I don’t know why but…I simply feel good.” Orlando had always thought that he’d never feel good again, that the memories would never vanish. In fact they did not vanish, but the livid colours faded to shades of grey. They became dim and were banned from Orlando’s thoughts most of the time.

Viggo smiled, reaching over the table and taking Orlando’s hand.

“That’s good to hear. You deserve to be happy.”

Orlando smiled, allowing Viggo to take his hand. He had no problems with people he know touching him, he didn’t even have a big problem with people he didn’t know touching him. He just needed to be aware that someone would touch him. Otherwise he would jerk away and panic would kick in. This way it was alright, and Viggo’s touches always seemed to warm Orlando. They continued their breakfast in silence, without releasing the other’s hand.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
On the way back home after another day of hunting Orcs, Viggo realized that Orlando seemed nervous. He was fidgeting with his necklaces, glancing out of the window anxiously.

“Everything alright?”

“Uh…ah what?” Orlando had nearly jumped and was looking at Viggo with wide eyes.

“Is everything alright?” Viggo repeated, slightly frowning.
“Oh yeah…yeah, everything’s fine.” Orlando tried to smile. Viggo knew it wasn’t a real smile, but he didn’t want to dig any further. Orlando would tell him what was up, when he was ready for it. Waiting until Orlando was ready to talk had been something Viggo had practised for a while now. He had found out that Orlando would start to talk on his own, if he was given the time he needed. So Viggo simply returned the smile and they spent the rest of the drive in silence.

Back at the house Orlando flopped down on the sofa, nervously chewing his bottom lip.

“Vig?”

“Hm?” Viggo was just searching for something to eat in the kitchen.

“You have a minute?”

“Sure.” He took a glass of water before he walked over to the couch and sat down next to Orlando. The Brit was still fidgeting with his charms, nervously shifting around.

“You uh…remember when I told you that maybe…maybe some day I might be able to…to.” Orlando was obviously struggling for the right words, but couldn’t find them.

“Yeah, I remember.” Viggo simply assured, helping Orlando out with it. His heart skipped a beat faster. He remembered too clearly.

“I…well…would it…would it be bad if some day would be…some day soon?” Orlando glanced up at Viggo shyly. Viggo found that his throat was dry all of a sudden, and he had to swallow hard.

“No…no, it wouldn’t be bad at all. Why are you asking?”

“Because…because I thought that…I guess I want…today to be some day…but I am not sure…how much…time I will need…for everything. But maybe…we could…give it a try.” Orlando looked away again, scared that Viggo would reject him. It had cost him so much to come to the conclusion that he really wanted it and even more to find the courage to tell Viggo.

All of a sudden Viggo could understand Orlando’s nervousness; he was feeling nervous himself now.

“I always told you, that I’ll give you all the time you need.” Viggo took Orlando’s hand and pulled him closer.

“Are you really sure that you want this?” Viggo whispered, softly stroking over Orlando’s cheek with his free hand. Orlando only nodded, since his throat had tightened and he thought that he wouldn’t be able to speak.

“Alright…so we should give it a try then, huh?” Viggo asked, feeling insecure all of a sudden. He had wished for this, surely, but never thought that it would actually happen. Orlando looked up at him, before he shyly leaned forward until his lips touched Viggo’s. He felt terribly afraid, but knew that he had to do this. Otherwise he would never do it. Viggo’s lips felt warm, smooth and rough all the same against his. Orlando could feel that Viggo inhaled surprised, and hoped that he wouldn’t be pushed away.

Seconds passed by without anything happening, their lips simply touching. Viggo felt how warmth flooded his body and his arms wrapped around Orlando of their own accord. Orlando’s arms between them and lying on his chest, where they warmed Viggo’s skin. Slowly he returned the kiss, letting all his thoughts be washed away by he pleasant feeling of the soft lips. The brief kiss was full of affection and love, without the flame of desire or lust. It lasted only seconds, but that made it even more precious. Orlando closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against Viggo’s, when their lips parted again. The silence between them was comfortable, and both enjoyed the simplicity of the moment.


“Yes, we should give it a try. But…let’s take it slow, yeah?” Orlando’s breath was hot against Viggo’s cheek and sent shivers down his spine.

“We’ll take all the time you need.”

Orlando smiled and leaned his head against Viggo’s shoulder, closing his eyes with a sigh of relief. None of his fears had become true, and he felt warmth wash over him. It felt good to be held and to be near Viggo. After a while Viggo leaned back and pulled Orlando down with him. Slowly Orlando drifted into a comfortable sleep, where no more nightmares hunted him.

TBC