vigorli

Title: Don't Let Go
Author: me,

invisible_dream
Pairing: V/O
Rating: NC17
Summary: how it all began...
Beta: the fabulous

willowwing *loves*
Disclaimer: not true; all fake; i'm a perv
A/N: thanks to this anime porn i watched for the idea; some of you might recognize it

I ended up in the park, sitting on the stupid, rusty, old bench that I'd come to claim as mine over the years. It was pouring outside. In a matter of seconds, I was soaked to the bone. Not that I really cared. It was the last thing on my mind. Remember the thunder I mentioned? I knew it would happen sooner or later. It always does. Life is poetic like that.

Digging my foot into a soft patch of ground, I kicked at it for a few moments, sending bits of grass and mud flying forward. All I could think about was...him. How? How could I have let myself get humiliated like that? How could I have thought that I had any remote chance with Orlando? I was a fool...a stupid, old fool.

"You'll catch your death out here..."

Speak of the devil.

I glanced up at him briefly, catching a glimpse of rain soaked curls matted to his face. It made him look even sexier than he did normally. No...I couldn't think that way. Not now.

"Viggo..."

"Why do you care?" I slowly lifted my head so I could stare at him, make him see just how hurt I was. I didn't count on seeing him equally miserable.

"Viggo, please...let me explain," he begged.

"What's to explain? I wonder how many men have been hurt by your actions, left out to dry when you were done with them?" I paused and let out a short, somewhat bitter laugh. "I wonder how many of them fell in love with you..."

He blinked, shocked. "That's why I need to explain. Please, Viggo...you don't...you don't know everything."

I sighed heavily. I really didn't want to hear what he had to say, but the desperation in his voice broke down the wall I had put up. Deep down, I still fucking loved him...no matter how much I had been hurt.

"I never meant to hurt you." At this, I snorted in disbelief. He glanced at me, eyes full of pain. I apologized and asked him to go on. "I know it may seem like I don't care...that all I do is use people and then toss them aside. But it's not intentional...in a sense that...I don't go looking for people. It just happens."

"Happens? You just happen to screw people over?"

He sighed heavily. "I'm not saying this right."

"I'll say you aren’t," I replied, rising up from my bench, prepared to leave.

"Well, if you'd give me a chance before you write me off as some low-life whore, maybe I could actually tell you!" he spat back, nearly yelling at me.

"If the shoe fits..." Seeing the intense look of pain cross his face, I instantly regretted speaking.

"I can't believe you! You don't even care! I came here to apologize, to explain to you why I've been the way I've been in the past...fuck...I came here because I love you, and all you can do is degrade me even more! You're not even giving me a chance!" Now he was yelling, and even worse, there were tears. There were tears falling from those beautiful dark eyes I had fallen in love with. I was torn, feeling so hurt and used and still caring that I was hurting him in return.

I sat back down.

"Are you done?" he asked.

"Just tell me why..."

"Why? Because one rotten egg spoiled it for anyone else who came into my life. Because he left me during a time when I needed him the most! Because everyone I met after that just used me for a quick fuck once they figured out who I was. Because even after therapy, I still feared that I would be tossed aside by anyone I let in again. Because I promised myself that I wouldn't allow myself to be used ever again. Because I swore I'd never allow myself to feel anything again. Because I'm afraid that everything good in my life will suddenly be ripped away from me without my consent. Because I had given up on relationships and people all together. And if that makes me a whore...fine!" He took a deep breath in and rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand, trying to stop the tears that were flowing. There was nothing I could say.

With a deep sigh, he sat down next to me and took my hand in his. "But then...you showed up."

"Me?" What the hell did I do?

"You showed up and I wanted to feel again. I loved you as an artist for so long and then...then I got to know you and I didn't want to let you go. When I saw you standing there that day...something inside of me just couldn't let you walk away. Even if I only had gotten the chance to say 'hi,' it would've been worth it."

Orlando sat next to me, not saying anything, just staring at the muddy ground. The rain was still coming down relatively hard, and I could see him shiver from the chill of the night air. I wanted to say something...anything. The silence between us was just entirely too much. After everything he told me...did I still hate him?

"I stopped trying because I didn't want to let someone in and then get hurt again. But then you...I didn't want to hurt you at all. I honestly thought that...we had something pretty good going."

He squeezed my hand. "I’m sorry you heard about my past from someone other than me, Viggo. I should have been honest with you from the beginning about my history and how I was feeling about you. It was never my intention to hurt you...no matter what you may believe," he said quietly.

"I believe you."

Orlando smiled in relief, a small sob escaping his lips. I gathered him into my arms. Despite it all, I loved him. I think I had from the moment I met him. There was no way I could lose him now. It hurt too much to be without him. He clung to me just as tightly, burying his face in my shoulder. We both were crying now, tears mixing with the steadily falling rain.

"Don't hate me...please," Orlando whispered between sobs.

I cupped his face and lifted it so I could gaze into his eyes. "I don't hate you. I'm sorry I attacked you the way I did. I'm so sorry."

"You had every right." He sniffled and hugged me tighter. "We should have done so many things differently."

He was right. "There's still time to change that."

"D-Do you mean that, Viggo?" I was met with a hopeful gaze. Smiling, I brushed a few of his curls to the side. All I could answer with was a nod. I didn't want words. I only wanted him in my arms, wanted to love him properly.

"Viggo?"

"Shh..." I placed a gentle kiss to his lips. "Come on...let's get out of this rain. We'll both get sick."
~*~*~*~

We stood with our arms wrapped around each other, lazily kissing as the gentle mist from the shower warmed our chilled bodies. My hands gently caressed up and down Orlando's smooth back as he kissed his way along my neck and jaw line. It was scary to think that we'd almost lost this. I'm not sure if I could've dealt with that, especially knowing it was mostly my fault. Orlando had become so important to me in such a short time.

My hands dipped lower, sweeping across the curve of Orlando's ass. He purred happily and leaned into the touch, letting out a tiny moan as I gently squeezed. Without words, he turned in my arms and braced himself against the shower wall. His hips pushed back against my already painfully hard cock, silently begging me to fuck him. I reached out, and grabbed the tiny foil packet from the sink counter then reached behind me for the lube, squirting some onto my fingers. Placing a kiss on his back, I eased one finger and then another inside him. Orlando let out a small gasp and moved his hips, fucking himself on my fingers. I smiled and worked them in and out of his tight hole, curling them so I could keep constant pressure on his prostate.

"Please," he whimpered.

"Shh..." I ripped the packet open with my teeth and carefully rolled it onto my cock, coating it with a generous amount of lube. I lined up and slowly pushed my way inside his tight hole. Orlando let out a long, loud moan and grasped the towel bar for support. My arms wrapped around him tightly, pulling him closer as I pumped my cock in and out of him. His muscles clenched, almost to the point of making me come.

Our lovemaking was heated and frantic as we desperately tried to reclaim what we nearly lost. The water cascaded between our bodies as we slammed together, the wet slapping of skin mixing with our own moans. My hands played with his taut nipples, pinching and rolling them between my fingers. Orlando whimpered and nearly sobbed my name as his orgasm drew closer. I knew I was close too. My hips thrust faster and harder, angling to perfectly hit his prostate with every inward motion. I could hear his breathing hitch and saw his grip on the rack tighten.

I grabbed his cock. With only three strokes, my angel was coming hard, clenching around my cock once more, screaming his pleasure as his essence coated the shower wall and my hand. I growled his name and thrust hard once more, finding my own release inside him.

"Viggo...oh fuck, Vig. Don't let go...don't let go..." He kept repeating that over and over as I held him close, apparently not soothed enough by my reply of 'never.'