(no subject)

[imogen-lily.livejournal.com]

Yet again, I'm afraid I've had to split this chapter into two parts. Sorry



Dominic paused as he walked through the door, unconsciously sniffing the air. He was almost surprised when he found it didn't reek of sulphur or brimstone. Even so, it did little to ease his agitation. Had this been for anyone but Orlando (or Elijah) Dominic might very well have backed out of his promise to go back there. The enforced rest that Elijah had made him take had helped considerably but he knew, neither he nor Elijah would really feel right until they knew that Orlando was truly getting better.

The flat was quiet, morbidly so. To Dominic, it would always be linked with pain and suffering, not least finding Orlando's unconscious body on the bathroom floor. The brief flashback made him shudder slightly. He couldn't have let Orlando come back here, the place was tainted, a terrible…indescribable aura seemed to have lingered. It looked as if no one had been here for several days. Nothing had been touched since Orlando had been rushed to hospital. That gave Dominic hope that Mark hadn't been back yet. It was as if time had been stopped since Dom had found Orlando all those days ago.

As Elijah had succinctly put it; `The fucker's disappeared off the face of the earth,' and indeed it seemed to be the case. Why he would've left, Dom didn't know, nor did he care, he wasn't about to question the blessing that had been handed to them. All he could do was appreciate the respite, however temporary.

He almost jumped when he felt someone brush against him, only to find it was Viggo's coat sleeve. For some reason that Viggo had yet to disclose, he had insisted on accompanying Dominic to Orlando's old flat. A half-hearted argument hadn't swayed Viggo in the least, and while Elijah was caring for Orlando, Dominic and Viggo had come to collect Orlando's things. He wasn't sure why, Viggo had never been here. Orlando had bought it just before the break up, and the moving time had tied in with Viggo's dumping of Orlando, so it had been just Orlando's, and later Mark's. Truth be told, Dominic was glad of Viggo's company.

"So..." Dom began, swinging his arm around the room "where do you want to start? I figure if we keep doing a room each we should have it finished pretty quickly." The business-like tone surprised both himself and Viggo. Take-charge Dom wasn't his usual persona, but nothing about the past week had been normal.

"Do…do you want me to do the bedroom?" Viggo offered tentatively. Despite his valiant attempts, it was obvious this was not a pleasant experience for Dom, how could it be? The last time he had been here, he'd found his best friend dying. Dom's face suddenly tightened and Viggo immediately worried he had upset Dom in some way, then the face slackened and he nodded shakily.

"Uh…yeah. Thanks. I…I didn't think about that. I…I don't think I could go in there, not r-right now." He mumbled and headed towards the kitchen. Viggo could've sworn he saw flashes of tears roll down the younger man's face, but he decided it wouldn't be wise to comment on it yet. As Dom walked off, Viggo found himself taking in his surrounding as he wandered upstairs. Orlando's apartment, the apartment he'd never seen, that he should have seen. Orlando had bought it with Viggo in mind. It was away from the glitzy showbiz streets that left him feeling so uncomfortable, and it had been nearer Henry and Exene (although they had eventually moved three years ago) so Viggo could have visited them more easily.

Orlando could have afforded somewhere bigger, flashier. Somewhere that was nearer his agent, and other `connections' but he'd come to an `everyman' suburb because he knew that's what he, Viggo, had wanted. He hadn't even known about the apartment. He'd been too immersed in convincing himself to break up with Orlando. It wasn't until two weeks after the break-up, that a rather angry Liv Tyler had told him about the flat, which Sean had later confirmed, as he'd actually accompanied Orlando several times to view the property, but had been sworn to secrecy. Apparently, Orlando had been saving it as a surprise, an early anniversary present. It had been a surprise, the fact that Orlando had been willing to inconvenience himself for Viggo, but then as Sean had pointed out, that was the sort of person Orlando was: uncompromisingly giving.

He took in the details of the room. Cream walls, mahogany furniture, nothing too 'show bizzy'. Old fashioned and good quality, it had been his father's and Orlando, unsurprisingly, was very attached to it. It didn't quite go with the colour scheme, but it stayed. As with the rest of the apartment it was simply decorated. A few paintings, a surprisingly large bookcase, some ornaments, CD player, soft rug, wooden floors…one of Orlando's sculptures lay, almost hidden behind a curtain. Gently picking it up, he gazed over the glazed object, a rather beautiful blue vase, flecked with gold. He turned it over almost reverently in his hands. Orlando's signature and the date were scratched into the base. He noticed a fine line along the left side; upon closer inspection Viggo was fairly certain it was a re-sealed crack. Was this something Mark had once broken? He could imagine Mark flinging it against the wall in a rage and almost flinched at the idea, to destroy something of such beauty was inherently wrong...but then it seemed the concept of beauty was lost to Mark. Perhaps he relished breaking beautiful things…people… the thought made him shudder as he gently put it on the bed for safekeeping.

More mundane objects followed – the rug, large, red and rather old, a few posters: Paul Newman in `The Hustler'; the iconic image of Che Guevara, and a Homer Simpson one dispensing the invaluable advice that: `The answers to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV!' Viggo had to smile at that, Orlando still the same strange sense of humour, he was glad. He hoped that meant that Orli was still there, that in spite of all the pain, all the destruction that his Orlando was still there, however deeply buried. Looking around the room he suddenly felt like a voyeur. This was Orlando's bedroom, not a communal room. A private place that he'd shared with his lover. A lover that wasn't him, but could've been. How would things have been different if he'd never broken up with Orlando? Would they have made love on that rug, had Orlando and Mark? Or had Mark held him close whispering time old endearments.

Had Elijah or Dom held Orlando on the bed, comforting him after one of Mark's outbursts? How many fights had gone on here? Looking at the bed, he suddenly recalled the details of the abuse and couldn't stop a shudder creeping over him. This was where most of the abuse had probably taken place, including the worst crime Mark had committed. A wave of nausea threatened to overtake him, but he forced down the sickening feeling, as he was forced to face the reality of what had happened here. Orlando had been hurt in this room, more than he would ever be able to imagine. It was a room that should have brought Orlando joy and protection, feelings that he should've bought Orlando.

Viggo felt himself suddenly stiffen, he didn't want to be here anymore, but he had to do this for Orlando. He'd promised to help Orlando, be there for him no matter what that entailed. He just hadn't expected it to…hurt so much. How would he be when Orlando really needed him if he couldn't cope with going into Orlando's house? How was he supposed to deal with all the rest of the shit that was to come, because he knew this was just the very tip of the iceberg and that frightened him. He was scared of failing, scared that Orlando wouldn't really recover, scared that Orlando wouldn't want him, and even more so that he would. Why did shit like this have to happen?!

It was bad enough that this could happen at all, but to someone like Orlando…his beautiful Orli, who'd never hurt anyone, why should he have to suffer because of other people's stupidity and cruelty? But wasn't that always the way of the world, the innocents suffered because they had things to lose? Shaking his head as if to clear it of his thoughts, he continued on with his task, forcing his emotions aside as he made a visual inventory of what to take. A blue lamp, books, phone, keys, some clothes, photos, his diary. Other things could be left, could be replaced later. Most objects were scattered around the bed, but the diary sat on the bedside table. Would that speak of his abuse, would it tell Viggo what had truly happened between him and Mark or what lead Orlando to try that last drastic step? Would it give Viggo some answers or clues to where Mark was?

Unconsciously sitting down on the bed, he reached over to the journal. It was the same style that Orlando had used on the Rings production. Rubber bands held the flyaway pages together, the age of the book clearly showed at the worn colours, creased spine. He ran his fingers over it lovingly. The urge to read through the pages was overwhelming. Biting his lip he forced his fingers still, until something caught his eye. Sticking out slightly was the corner of a photo. Holding his breath, Viggo gently eased out the photo, taking in the picture and felt tears flood into his eyes. It was of him. Him and Orlando to be precise. It was a Polaroid, and was fairly old, with creases lining it. It was one Henry had secretly taken, how many years ago now? He knew it'd been taken shortly after the Two Towers premiere. Henry had come for an extended weekend trip, and the Hobbits had been in and out all day, playing (cheating) monopoly and watching crappy Sunday- type movies. It was during a particularly boring one, which no one was really paying attention to.

Dominic and Billy took it upon themselves to provide an `alternative' commentary for the film, which Orlando seemed to find hilarious (or maybe he was feeling charitable.) He and Orlando were getting rather…snugly, when Henry had suddenly appeared, manic grin on his face and Viggo's camera in hand and started snapping randomly at the group. Some of the results had been rather interesting: Billy spewing beer, while cursing in several variants of Scottish, which made Dom laugh so hard he fell off his seat and ended up with a large amount of dip on his face, that got snapped too, leaving Dom to mutter that all children, especially the Mortensen variety sound be systematically drowned at birth, and the one of Elijah with his face so full of popcorn he resembled a hamster wasn't that flattering either, and then he had turned the camera on him and Orlando.

The smile on Orlando's face was almost blinding, every inch of his face was glowing, as his head rested against Viggo's chest, hand outstretched in a futile attempt to stop Henry, although there was no real effort behind the protest. It was his own expression that amazed him. A look of sheer contentment seemed to envelop his whole being; his arms wrapped firmly round Orlando, a look of mirth clear in his eyes. They looked as if they didn't have a care in the whole world, just a couple loving each other and the world, and it'd been true. That was before he'd started worrying about the press, before the politics of celebrity had reared their ugly head. They hadn't been celebrities back then. Viggo hadn't been well known, Orlando had been considering offers for Ned Kelly and Pirates, he'd done an episode of a British drama but he still wasn't really recognised out of a blond wig, they'd just been Viggo and Orlando, no artist or Oscar winner. He couldn't remember exactly when things changed, when he started worrying. Henry had never objected to Orlando, in fact he'd encouraged them to be more open, but then it had been much easier for Henry's child-like mind. They were in love and should be happy, if only everyone had looked at things as innocently and purely as a child… He remembered how Orlando had tackled Henry after the impromptu photo, and had bickered like a child over rights to the photo. Unsurprisingly Orlando had won; it seemed he wasn't the only one who crumbled at Orlando's puppy eyes.

When Henry had first arrived in New Zealand, he'd immediately bonded with everyone and together with Orli and the Hobbits. They'd spend hours playing video games and generally making nuisances of themselves. Henry and Orlando had a mutual adoration of the Simpsons, and he found Dom and Orlando's 'weird' (aka British) sense of humour fascinating, especially when they introduced him to Blackadder and Red Dwarf, which both became Henry's favourite shows. Henry had, with the help of Orli and Hobbits made pulling pranks into an art form, and to Viggo's everlasting despair Sean had made Henry into a dedicated Blades fan, yet another black mark for Boromir of Gondor. Not that Sean had cared, he'd simply given Viggo a shit-eating grin and pointed out he should've been grateful Liv didn't expose Henry to the joys of MasterCard, or Orlando had got him to start experimenting with his shirt colours. Viggo had taken the hint, but still grumbled.

At first Henry had seen Orlando as a cooler older friend, a sort of older brother, then after learning the truth of Viggo and Orlando's then-budding relationship, he'd been remarkably calm about the whole situation, simply hugged Orlando tightly and welcomed him to the `Domain of Insanity' (commonly known as the Mortensen's household.) Exene had failed appallingly in her role of 'evil ex-wife' and cooed over Orlando until it almost made him nauseous, and she seemed overly fond of Orlando's ass. There was something unsettling about an ex-wife drooling over his boyfriend's ass, no matter how gorgeous it was. Even after he broke up with Orlando she'd remained a huge fan of Orlando's, rang him a few times, making sure he was OK there was almost a motherly vibe in her attention to Orlando. He sometimes wondered if the huge posters of his innumerable films plastered all over her walls had been deliberate torture devices, he certainly wouldn't put it past Exene. He'd quickly found himself leaving as soon as possible when collecting Henry.

Needless to say she'd given her (monumentally stupid) ex husband a very harsh kick up the backside and a sound clobbering after she discovered the details of the break-up. It had been a very surreal experience being yelled at by his furious ex wife for breaking up with his boyfriend and not one he ever wished to repeat, he'd forgotten that Exene had a pretty hard right hook. But worse than any of that, he could still remember the look of utter disappointment on Henry's face and the anger that had followed when Henry, his own son, had attempted to ring Orlando, determined to fix his father's messed up love life, only to be told by a rather agitated Billy, that he was sorry but Orlando couldn't come to the phone, he was a bit... busy at the moment. Henry hadn't been fooled and had heard the background muffled sobs on the other end. It had taken three days for Henry to speak to Viggo after that.

He couldn't fathom why Orlando would have kept this one, or indeed a photo of them at all. From the look of it, it'd been handled quite regularly, the creases now white lines, and fingerprints were just about visible in certain light. Did Orlando look at it often, or perhaps had Mark seen it? Had they fought over it? It was a sickening thought, that Orlando might have been hurt because of this photo. A stupid photo of a past relationship. A sudden surge of anger welled up in him. Why the hell couldn't Mark have left it alone? Almost everyone had an ex of some description, it was part of life, relationships failed, you moved on, found someone new - people had to deal with it, it was life, what made Mark feel he was exempt from this rule? A part of him still loved Exene, and not just because of Henry. He loved her as a person, just not in love with her anymore. People always seemed to blur that distinction of love and being in love were very different. Carefully he tucked the photo back into the journal, before tentatively placing it in the bag he'd recently procured to store Orlando's valuables.

He debated going through the drawers by the bed. Considering some of the stuff he'd kept in the bedside drawer when he and Orlando were together…he didn't want to be reminded that Mark and Orlando had been in a relationship, and sex, at least at some point, had been mutual and consensual. There was a small part of him, that didn't want to accept Orlando had moved on, regardless of how terrible it had turned out, he didn't want to know that Orlando had lain next to someone else. That another man knew Orlando's body as intimately as he did, touched him as he once had. The warm colours, comfortable bed were almost a mockery of a loving relationship. To the outsider it would look like a lover's bedroom, warm and safe but Viggo knew better and that made the room, indeed the whole house take on a decided chill.

Hearing a sniffle, Viggo's ears pricked and he made his way to the sound…the bathroom. Gently opening the door, he was greeted by Dom hastily wiping his eyes, as he sat on the floor, looking rather lost. Viggo immediately felt for the younger man. He forgot how awful this must be for Dom, and to be back here…to have such memories flood back it wasn't fair on a man who only showed devotion to his friend.

"Hey, it's OK" he soothed, not able to think of anything remotely more intelligent. Dom nodded listlessly. He hadn't imagined it would be so hard, being back here. It was just a room yet it could conjure up such vivid memories and emotions…which Dominic would have done anything to forget. All of a sudden Orlando's lifeless body had come back, he'd been back in the bathroom with a bleeding Orlando and a terrified Elijah and just like that it was gone. The emotion, however hadn't. He couldn't tell Orlando but he was still living in daily terror of losing his friend.

Dr McCoy's words still haunted him – that if he'd been a couple of minutes later Orlando wouldn't have survived. He could still see Orlando's lifeless face in his mind's eye. He couldn't tell Orlando it still haunted him. Dr McCoy had promised that would fade given time and prescribed him some sleeping tablets. He hadn't even told Elijah about that and telling Orlando was out of the question. His friend could barely bring himself to look at his own reflection, (Dom had since(seen?) him physically wince. Sentence a bit confusing, whom are you speaking?) His clothes were still far too baggy and tended towards blacks and navies. It seemed anything that hadn't been shapeless and black was too risqué for Orlando to wear.

"I just…didn't think it was going to be this hard y'know? I mean I've come in here all the time. It's a bathroom, a sodding bathroom that's all. I saw him, Viggo, he was bleeding and I couldn't stop it" his voice trailed off into a whisper. "And you know what the real irony of the whole thing is?" he demanded, looking up at Viggo, seemingly challenging him. He let out a short bark of laughter, a harsh sound that would've made Viggo wince had he not heard it so many times before, usually from his own lips, especially over the past few days. Viggo simply shook his head, patiently waiting for the next unsavoury revelation Dom would give him. He privately wondered if anything else could shock him anymore. The fire seemed to leave Dominic very suddenly and he gazed down at the floor, seemingly hypnotized before the spell was broken.

"He used to come in here, you know? When Mark got too much, said he felt safe in here. A bloody bathroom felt safe! It's the only room with a lock on it, a big one at that. He sometimes called me when he was in here. I mean nothing like having a gossip with your mate when hiding in the bathroom from your abusive boyfriend is there?" bitterness laced his voice. "Then he goes and tries to fucking kill himself in here. The bathroom was, like, I dunno his panic room or something stupid like that. Suppose it would stand to reason he'd come in here…" his voice trailed off as a variety of memories assaulted his brain.

"Vig, do you think he wanted to die? I mean really wanted to?" Dom asked suddenly, a rare vulnerability clear in his voice. "What if he did and I stopped him. He'll hate me," he whispered, as if the thought had only just struck him.

"He'll think I hate him, trying to make him live…"

"Hey don't think like that Dom. If Orlando was determined to die he'd-"

"Viggo, he swallowed three bottles of pills, and slit one of his wrists, he knew what he was doing, this wasn't a spur-of-the-moment choice. God knows how long he was planning it. For all we know he could've been wanting to kill himself for years…and he finally got the chance for peace and I took it away…"

"For God sake Dominic! Of course he won't hate you, he loves you, both you and Lij. You told me he was willing to go back to Mark, to keep you both safe. He was willing to do that to keep you both safe, and you've both practically killed yourselves at the hospital. Don't ever think Orlando will hate you. Look, I think, hell, I know that Orlando wouldn't have made it if it hadn't have been for you two, it's because of you guys he kept holding on, don't ever doubt that he loves you both." Dom was rather taken-aback at Viggo's vehemence on the topic, especially considering the state of play between them all up until a few days ago. Not quite knowing what to say in reply he decided to steer back to more practical topics.

"I…uh…managed to pack most of the stuff he needs. I mean some of it can be bought again and stuff, the towels need replacing anyway so it's just really the basics, and some of the stuff belongs to…" unable to voice the name he trailed off, feeling slightly lost and rather embarrassed at his rambling but Viggo thankfully didn't comment on it.

"I wondered about some of the stuff in his room, I mean I don't know what belongs to who so…I kinda guessed, could you uh, help me sort the stuff out?" The request was tentative, as if afraid Dom would refuse and disallow him entry back into Orlando's bedroom, but the younger man merely nodded. Seemingly slipping into a business-like mood he followed Viggo to the room.

Neither spoke for a moment as Dominic began looking through the bag, making sure the items were Orlando's, until Dom discovered Orlando's journal on the bed. "I didn't know whether to pack that, there's a sculpture too but...I don't know if Orlando wants them back or not" he garbled, feeling completely moronic. Dom's eyes widened considerably at the battered book.

"It was lying around," Viggo added, sounding a little defensive, even to his own ears, as if he was afraid that Dominic would accuse him of ferreting around to find it.

"It's just Orli…he didn't leave this out. Ever. I didn't know he even still wrote in it," Dom's voice was quiet, almost upset. Why had Viggo been able to find it, and Orlando had hidden it from him? Of course it was ridiculous to think like that. Last time Orli had been here was just before…when…then. After all, Orlando had no idea Viggo would ever come back. What did Orlando write…it was unlikely it was anything Dom wanted to read about. Why would he, when he could see the evidence of it everyday – in the battered body, the defeated posture, the dead eyes. It all told him everything he needed to know without reading the words.

"I just wasn't sure whether Orlando would want this back, I mean would it maybe remind him…?" Viggo let the sentence hang in the air. Reaching for the journal and gently brushing his fingers over it, Dom smiled slightly.

"You know, he always joked if his movie career didn't work he'd sell his journals, `Memoirs of a Failure, kind of like those Adrian Mole books and make his fortune with his failure. I thought he stopped keeping it after Mark started loosing his temper. He used to read through them, looking for proof, that sort of thing. In the end Orli just got sick of trying to explain that meeting people wasn't cheating. It just gave Mark another excuse. He threw most of them away, I saw him, I think he felt it was safer. I didn't know he kept this one." Flipping the book over, he noticed the paperclip holding the photo. Slipping the book open he gazed at the photo, a startled expression coming over his face.

"Was this in the diary?" Dom demanded, his hand raking through his hair. This was the last thing Orlando needed to see, memories of what love could be...what it should be. He wasn't sure what to do with it, he didn't know whether he could bring himself to show Orlando while it could be a reminder or how thing could be again, given time, it was more likely to have a devastating impact on Orlando. Besides, that was how things had started, by Mark seeing harmless photos, reminders of Orlando's past loves, right now it could only bring sorrow. He could still remember That Day; it haunted him, the look in Orlando's eyes as he left, the utter despair…how Elijah had slumped to the floor, throwing the phone to the floor, tears rolling down his face…that memory was permanently engrained in his mind. Seeing this brought up so many old emotions to the surface, barely healed wounds were cracking open.

"I didn't know Orlando kept any, I thought…I didn't know" Viggo sighed, not sure whether he should be angry or upset. The last week had been such a rollercoaster of emotions it was a miracle that they had made it out at all. "Sorry" Dom sighed, hearing the confusion in Viggo' voice. He was beyond blaming Viggo for things now. That Viggo was wrong to leave in the first place was now irrelevant. Viggo was here to help Orlando and that was what mattered, and truth be told, Dom was tired. He didn't want to fight anymore, and point the finger and accuse, he wanted Orlando to get better, to see his friend smile, one that reached his eyes, and he wanted Viggo to be the cause of it.

"It's just that…Orli… found this before…before he tried to leave. It's strange seeing it again. Orlando kept some photos in his diary, you know what he's like with them. He had tons to begin with, of everyone from every set he'd been on…they just started disappearing. He used to have them plastered on his wall and stuff, it was nice, like a living testament to his work and life…God I thought I'd never see this one again. Henry took it didn't he?" suddenly a laugh bubbled from Dom's throat as the memory flooded back to him, a warm feeling flowing through him. "God! Henry can really pick his moments" he grinned, "God we all looked like such crap that day. No offence Vig, but you looked like you've been dragged through a ditch backwards"

"Yeah it's called the `Orlando Effect' and no offence taken. I seem to remember you looked particular spiffy that day with your panda eyes and designer ripped jeans." He baited, a small smile wavering around his lips. He longed to fall back into their old pattern of jokes and teasing. All he wanted was to try and make things right, and that included mending broken friendships. Predictably Dominic glared, a rather evil in his eyes, an all too familiar one. Oh he was screwed.

"Oh that's rich, coming from a guy who's dyed his hair every colour of the rainbow, worn a feather boa and would quite happily walk round the street starkers, not to mention that his former boyfriend had the worst taste in shirts known to mankind, scratch that, the whole bloody universe! They were a bloody crime against humanity!" Viggo couldn't stop himself from chortling at Dominic's bizarre and unfortunately accurate description. God how things had changed.

He suddenly felt a huge void within, a deep longing to return there, back to the bizarre life that had been New Zealand, coming back in full force. It had truly been a life altering experience, and without a doubt the best period of his entire life. It felt so strange and so good to laugh, to recall long forgotten pranks or anecdotes.

"He still loves you" Dom said, after the laughter died down, "that's why he kept this crappy picture. I mean he's hardly at his best there, and no offence but you look pretty pissed out your brains too. Seems we taught him well," he sighed. "How is he, Henry I mean?"

"He's fine. He misses you guys a lot. He was really pissed off with me over the break-up. He tried everything, even rang Orli a couple of time. I was so afraid other kids would make his life hell…God knows why I thought he couldn't give as good as he got. I mean he's got Exene's DNA for God sakes, I pity anyone who tries to cross those two... Oh God I've been such a sodding fool!"

"Sounds like you've spent a little too much time around us Brits, and yes you are a fool, no, sorry you were a fool. The point is you're here now, when Orlando needs you. I don't know how Lijah and me would have made it through the last few days. Just make sure you don't piss this second chance away," he warned

"Second chance? You think I've even got a shot?"

"Depends on Orlando really, the best you can do is try. Just be there for him. This isn't going to be fun or sexy or anything a relationship should be. Look, I'd be happy if you guys got back together, but you've also got to face the prospect that you might not. For all we know Orli might want out of relationships for good. I guess we'll just have to wait and see. But if anyone can get through to him, it's you. And yes he'll want the vase, it's one of his favourite objects," he added, almost offhandedly. Dom finished his assessment of the objects in the bag, seemingly satisfied that they had gathered everything that Orlando would want; he zipped the bag, a grim smile on his face, but one which seemed strangely mingled with satisfaction.

"I never wanted to come back here…not after what happened, not after what you told me. It all probably happened here, right?" Dom asked as he gazed around the bedroom. It seemed bleak now, the walls devoid of posters, the rug gone… the bed sheets would stay. As beautiful as they were, Dominic couldn't bring himself to touch them, barely even look at them, they disgusted him. They would have to be destroyed. There was no way he'd let Orlando take them again. They were tainted. It was only now that he realised the red was a crimson colour. Crimson… blood…no he wouldn't think about it. He couldn't because if he did he wouldn't be able to leave. He would crumple to the floor and sob, and wait for Mark, he would wait forever until the man came back and he would kill him without hesitation, so he pushed the thoughts away.

While downstairs he'd debated on taking the Play Station, or which of Orlando's favourite mugs and cushions to take; perhaps he wanted his books back, the photo of his Dad or the bear Elijah gave him? There was so much, so many memories woven into the rooms. Each were linked with pain and comfort…each object he'd picked up had told a story of Orlando's life, held a secret. A small part of Dominic wanted to leave everything behind. If Orlando were to truly make a fresh start, would it help having these objects around? He'd deliberated over every object, a coffee mat could have been thrown at Orlando, he'd stopped suddenly when he'd see the wall in the lounge, how the hole had never been filled in properly, leaving an uneven surface.

He'd found one of Orlando's numerous pendants lying around, or a silver ring stuffed behind the sofa, it had taken some effort to pull it out. He remembered the pendant, it was a crystal pendant from Eric, it had been a Christmas present a couple of years ago, but it was the ring that caught Dominic's attention, for that had a more personal significance. The ring was the silver one Orlando had been famed for never taking off. That wasn't surprising really since it had been given to him by Viggo, although few knew that. It wasn't an expensive one or a designer ring, just a simple silver band with 'we are eternal' etched on the inside, something which Dom and Beanie had seen Viggo personally do.

It had been the closest thing to a commitment ring Viggo, he had been a little wary of getting a ‘real’ one. Even after the break-up it remained on Orlando's hand, although few knew the true significance of it, except that Orlando never took it off, of course there had been endless speculations had been made by the tabloids and fans alike about the ring, although Orlando never talked about it.

On discovering the truth behind the ring, it's significance and giver things had changed between Orlando and Mark, the ring was worn less then eventually came off all the time Orlando's eyes growing deader. The pendants slowly went, one by one. The jade stone from Beanie, a paua stone from Liv, a shell from Johnny, beads from Billy… the list went on and on. People didn't realise, not at first, or thought he'd lost them. Except that Orlando was careful with things. His sentimental streak would not allow himself to lose or damage gifts.

Naturally, there'd been other gifts too, for birthdays and Christmases or `just because' presents, those were the ones that angered Mark the most, to him presents equalled affairs. After a while Orlando didn't dare disagree with Mark, and any gift from a friend or co-star was hidden or given away, it broke Dom's heart to see his friend cave in so easily – these were pieces of Orlando's heart he was being forced to give up, they weren't just bits of jewellery to him and Mark knew it.

Dominic could remember that particular Christmas there had been a terrible fight when Eric had given Orlando the pendant as part of his present. They'd not seen each other for five months and Eric deeply missed his `little brother', of course the `brother' part of the relationship didn't enter into the equation with Mark, and Eric had rang up to wish everyone a merry Christmas. After exchanging laughter and pleasantries, Dom had been about to pass the phone to Orlando, but the shattering noise had made him stop, as he'd silently witnessed the scene from just behind the door. He could still remember the tears streaking down Orlando's face, how he'd been crouching on the floor, Mark standing over him as Orlando all but cringed.

The voices had been muffled, but their had been no doubt that Mark had been furious, something had been broken and was lying irrevocably shattered at Orlando's feet. Dom had mentally shouted at Orlando, wanted to beg him to get up and stand up to Mark, but by that time Orlando had ceased trying to calm Mark, or even reject his accusations. He'd come to believe them. Witnessing the crumbled ball his friend had become, Dominic's fury could have easily eclipsed Mark's at that moment. He'd quickly broken off the conversation with Eric determined to go and help his friend, unfortunately Eric had heard the shatter too and started asking questions. In desperation Dom had passed it off as an accident, over-enthusiastic Sidi's fault and claiming Orlando was out and promising he'd get him to ring back.

Eric had merely sighed, murmuring something about `overworking' and clearly unconvinced by Dom's explanation but had reluctantly let it slide. As had everyone else over time. For a moment Dom had mentally debated about ringing Eric back, and confessing everything that Mark had been doing to Orlando. It would've been so easy to ring him, Eric would have dropped everything to help his `brother', Eric truly adored Orlando and had essentially become part of Eric's family, which had extended to him and Elijah. Eric had once told them, they were the best friends anyone could have. He wondered if Eric would still think that now…

He'd almost re-dialled the number, but when he'd heard Mark's chilling threats to Orlando… he'd kept quiet. If someone else knew, Orlando would be hurt even worse, he knew it and he couldn't allow Orlando to suffer even more than he had it had made him sick to his stomach.

Of course, even if he had got someone to help, Orlando would simply deny the abuse, but Eric was smart, he knew the difference between accidents and brute force. He would be able to help, after all Bana was big, not someone you wanted to mess with, especially when it involved someone hurting his friends…or if Eric couldn't help maybe he could get hold of Beanie…he loved Orlando and packed a powerful punch or Karl…or someone…anyone who could help, at least physically keeping Mark away.

But even then over a year ago, things had changed, he'd seen something in Orlando, something so utterly foreign in his friend it scared him: hopelessness. In all the years he'd known him, he had never seen Orlando look so utterly defeated. Orlando had never been the kind to accept defeat gracefully, he fought long and hard but seeing him so broken, it had terrified him; perhaps he had known, deep down that Orlando would do try to do this, such a desperate action, but it didn't make it any easier, nothing could.

The worst period had been just over a year ago; by then Mark's temper had been at best volatile, the smallest thing sent him into a fierce wrath. Mark's criticisms of Orlando had become even harsher, more intrusive. That was when the pendants had come into focus. Everyone knew Orlando loved his pendants. Together with his rings they all held a special significance, each telling a story or holding a memory of a person. Before Mark the pendants had slowly increased, as each film brought new friends and experiences, his life was worn in his jewellery, the rings and bracelets having words of love and inspiration carved into them.

Ironically, at first Mark had liked them, they were part of Orlando, what helped shape Orlando into what he'd become. He'd been curious about them, and loved hearing Orlando's animated stories of how he gained each one, but gradually that humour had faded, he didn't know why, perhaps when Johnny gave him another pendant on the second Pirates shoot, maybe it was a gift from Kirsten, or when Livvie had sent him a beautifully carved ivory elephant, or was it Eric's crystal that finally infuriated Mark so? It didn't matter, soon they were cast off one by one. Despite his fear of Mark's wrath, Orlando couldn't bring himself to get rid of them. They had been passed between him and Lij for safekeeping.

As he went around the rooms, he suddenly released how lonely he felt. No one apart from Elijah had the blindest idea what he had gone through. It was not only Orlando who had lost friends, so had he. By loving Orlando enough, he'd had to lose his other friends. Of course, he could still see them, Mark wasn't his boyfriend, but it was never the same. The jokes weren't as carefree, and the sombreness of the two men was noticed by all. Orlando's missing presence did nothing to hide this and gulfs had grown between formally impenetrable friendships. There had been no rows or accusations, for they were still his family, but things had gradually - stopped. Orlando hadn't come and Dominic hadn't wanted to leave him to the mercies of Mark, so he stayed. Elijah not wanting to lose his best friends had stayed too. Neither he nor Elijah had ever talked about this, or censured Orlando for it, what would be the point?

It had been their choice to stay with Orlando, and given the choice again, even with his current knowledge he would've done the same, what else could he have done? Abandon his friend, his brother, to Mark? That was not an option, it never had been. Billy had been the worst. It was impossible to lie to the man who he cared for so much. The gentle, yet penetrating eyes were something Dominic would have done anything to avoid. He couldn't risk his friend seeing the depths of misery and fear that lay there. So he'd lied, and he hated every second of it. To see Billy nodding in acceptance, but clearly aware of the falsehood of his excuses had been hard… no, horrible.

Strangely Kate, of all people, had been the most difficult to placate over the situation. Her deceptively `girl next door' appearance was masked by an inner steel, that most Pro-Wrestlers would envy. When Orlando's excuses had started coming in thick and fast, Kate had put her foot down. There was nothing like an ex girlfriend to get a man back in action she'd smirked, yet she'd also sensed an underlying worry, and worryingly for him, a seeming recognition of what Orlando was going through.

When Lij had reluctantly made the tenth excuse for Orlando's cancellation of a meal out in a month (Mark having completely swollen up his jaw, and possibly dislocated his wrist at the time) she'd marched right over and given them a harsh talking to over their friend, claimed they were severely failing in the friends department. The stress of the situation had almost boiled over as Elijah's eyes had turned to narrow slits and a argument had been brewing. Unfortunately Orlando had chosen that moment to go downstairs and having pushed past them, she quickly made her way over to a startled and rather terrified Orlando. Of course she'd seen everything, and Orlando had looked as if he'd wanted to crumble up and die, but Kate had merely walked forward and pulled Orlando into a bone-crushing hug before quietly leading him upstairs, with a brief look to the two hobbits warning them not to disturb them. He never found out what they'd talked about, or done in the two hours Kate was upstairs, but before leaving Kate had apologized and hugged them both tightly, clearly with tears in her eyes, and her phone calls and e-mails after that were doubled in length and frequency, at least, until Mark disconnected the net, the phone had just happened to `loose power' several times too.

He remembered the last time he'd seen her with Orlando, she'd been clearly crying, and pulled Dominic aside, before she left. It had become all too clear she had a pretty good idea what was going on; he'd recognised that look all too well, the one of desperation he'd seen on the other friends' faces as Orlando had slowly drifted away from them. Now it was happening to Kate too, there had been an all too familiar sorrow mingled with anger. Every time she'd tried to pry details out of Orlando he'd changed the topic, a forced smile on his face; it was the same with everyone else, even him and Lij, everyone knew something was wrong, even if they didn't know the details, and tried to help, to talk to Orlando, but nothing had worked.

Orlando had first been too ashamed to admit the abuse, and later when it became unavoidable he was too frightened, the threat of Mark harming his friends and even his family, hanging heavily on him. Unable to help or stand the sight of Orlando withdrawing into himself, they'd slowly stopped, one by one, first asking, then visiting. It wasn't that they didn't care, quite the opposite. Everyone cared, they loved Orlando. He couldn't recall a single co-star that hadn't fallen in love with Orlando. It was just his nature. He drew people to him, moths to a flame, so to speak. But when people were on the other side of the world it was difficult to help.

The fact was, if they had known, the rest of the Fellowship, or any of Orlando's other friends, they would've come, would have done everything in their power to help, but Mark pre-empting this had slowly and subtly cut off all his ties. That was why Dominic had stayed, no matter how terrible or lonely things got, because he had to. He refused to let Mark win, even if Orlando gave up, Dominic wasn't willing to let that happen. That was his way of fighting Mark, and Mark, had the brains to know that appearances were important. Dominic and Elijah were Orlando's best friends, they practically lived with him, if they had disappeared people would talk and the perfect relationship Mark had sought to cultivate for audiences and the media would be shattered, irrevocably.

How he wanted his friends back, he wanted the Fellowship together again, all of them, Miranda, Karl and Eric. Truthfully he wanted someone else to shoulder the burdens he'd been forced to carry for the past four years. He wanted to cry and lose control, to let the world know he wasn't alright, that he was furious and scared shitless. That he wanted to be a child again and be taken care of. But he didn't, because that was what Orlando needed to do, and until Orlando could he would rein in his own wants and emotions. It didn't stop his wishing though. That was about to change. It was time Orlando got his pendants back. And the ring. He was going to make sure it never left Orlando's finger again. With a last dispassionate glance around the room, Viggo grabbed the bag.

"Any objections to getting the hell out here?" Dom asked, although he didn't need or expect a response. Viggo was only too happy to leave this hell-pit; as he slung the bag over his shoulder, Dom grabbed one or two more items before they headed out. Both of them knew this was more than packing, it was, they hoped, closing a chapter on Orlando's life. Neither man had any intention of ever coming back here, and more importantly, letting Orlando return.