Fic: No Big Truth

[lostmyfish.livejournal.com]

Title: No Big Truth
Author: lostmyfish
Rating: PG
Pairing: Viggo, Orlando
Summary: So the Fellowship's in a pub, right? And - what do you mean you've read this before? Follows Obvious, Certain Shades of Limelight and Misread, not that you need to have read them.
Disclaimer: It's not true.
Dedicated to razzleslash, who inspired me to write this (although it's not her fault, you understand) and honey_babes who I've been neglecting - sorry, honey.
Notes: To anyone reading - sorry it's moving so slow.



"Good to see you both made it back in one piece," Viggo grinned as Sean downed another beer. "We were taking bets on whether you'd murder Orlando or not."

Sean put down his glass with a deep sigh of satisfaction. "Officially? He was a pain in the arse and I was this close to punching his face."

"And unofficially?"

Sean smiled the purely happy smile that nobody had seen much of lately. "It were brilliant. Just being able to forget about... everything." Hands flailed, encompassing an invisible globe. "And Orli's a sweet kid, but don't you dare tell him I said that."

"I won't say a word," Viggo promised solemnly, eyes twinkling.

"Ah, shut up, ya bastard. Can't believe I missed ya."

"I missed you too, Sean."

"I even missed those little fuckers." His head jerked to the table behind them, where the hobbits were in fits of laughter. "What's so bloody funny?" he yelled.

"... so I'm like, Bean, you've gotta let go man, cos by now my kneecap's getting totally crushed, and I'm thinking, God, I'm gonna be crippled and PJ's gonna fire me, cos, you know, Leggy doesn't have a limp does he, but anyway, yeah, so Bean's got a deathgrip on my fucking knee and I've got serious bruises..." Orlando met Sean's eyes over his pint and for a split second a look of - camaraderie? Affection? Viggo's beer-sodden mind couldn't quite decipher it - passed between them.

"No way!" Elijah wasn't having it. "Bean wouldn't get that scared."

"You know how Orli likes to exaggerate," Dom goaded.

"Yeah? I have got the bruises and I'll show you." Orlando stood, sending his chair clattering to the floor, and attempted to roll up the leg of his jeans.

"I think those are a bit too tight to roll up," Astin pointed out.

"Damn, Sean, why do you always have to be right?"

Astin's retort died on his lips as Orlando unzipped his fly and let the jeans pool around his ankles. Unconscious of the fact that the entire pub was now looking at him, he freed his right leg and settled his knee on the table. "See?" he crowed triumphantly.

Indeed, there were finger-shaped bruises mottling the skin.

"Cool," Elijah breathed, peering closely at the offered knee. "Can I touch?" Without waiting for a reply, he zoned in on the most purple region and poked it.

"OW, you bastard, that fucking hurt," Orlando howled as he wobbled unsteadily.

Sean snorted as he turned to Viggo. "He should play for Chelsea." Viggo wasn't looking at him. "Vig?" No response. "Viggo?"

"He..." Viggo tried to form the words. "He... he wears orange plaid boxer shorts?"

"And you thought his shirts were bad."

"Plaid..." Viggo shook his head.

"Don't worry." Sean patted his shoulder consolingly. "I'm sure he's gorgeous with them off."

"WHAT?"

"D'yer think I'm stupid?"

Viggo blushed. "No. Didn't think anyone knew, that's all," he slurred.

"I don't think anyone does," Sean replied as he rose from the table. "As long as you forget what I just said, that is. I'm going for a piss."

Viggo stared down at the pool of condensation as he fought the insane urge to giggle.

***

"Hiya."

Viggo looked up from the table and smiled. "Hey." He kicked at Sean's vacant chair and motioned for Orlando to sit. "How are you?"

"Yeah, good, thanks. How about you? What've you been up to?"

"Caught some fish out of the hotel window."

"Cool - what?"

Viggo chuckled at Orlando's confusion. "It was the floods," he explained, smoothing away the furrow between dark brows with his thumb. "I wanted to go fishing, but Dominic pointed out that we had three feet of water outside the hotel. Seemed silly to waste the opportunity," he finished with a shrug.

"Three feet? Wow, the rain was crazy, wasn't it? Have you ever seen anything like that before? Did you catch anything?"

"Orlando. Slow down."

"Sorry, man, it's just, I missed you these past couple of days, you know?"

"Yeah?" Viggo could feel the grin creeping into his eyes, tugging at his mouth.

"Yeah, well, I couldn't bug Sean all the time, could I?"

"Could've fooled me, lad. Where've those fucking hobbits gone?"

"Sorry mate, didn't see you there." Orlando started to rise from the seat, but Sean pushed him back down.

"You stay there, I'm heading home. Need to sleep in a bed where I don't have you bothering me in the middle of the night." He ruffled Orlando's mohawk. "Night you two." He patted Viggo on the back. "See you tomorrow."

"You were bothering him in the middle of the night?" Viggo asked as they watched Sean's retreating back.

"It's not my fault!" Orlando protested. "Sean hogs all the blankets. He does this sort of Swiss roll-type thing, like, he starts turning on the spot and wrapping himself up and then there's no blanket left. Unless you can unroll him I guess, but he's bloody heavy. What are you laughing at?"

Viggo shook his head and laughed harder.

"Will you stop that? You sound like fucking Muttley."

Orlando sighed as Viggo fell off his chair.

"Come on, let's get you home."

***

Orlando pulled Viggo's shoes off and gently pushed him onto the bed. "You ok, man?"

"Yeah," Viggo replied blearily. "Guess I had more to drink than I thought. Or maybe it's just me getting old. Old old old."

"You're not old."

"Yeah? Then why d'ya keep calling me 'old man', huh?"

"You call me prissy elf, but I'm not prissy."

"Ain't no elf either."

"Exactly. See? You're not old. You've been drinking and you're knackered. Aha!" Orlando finally managed to get Viggo's shirt off.

"I'm fat," Viggo said despondently. Orlando's eyes went nearly as huge as Elijah's.

"Are you serious or are you just fishing for compliments? Cos I'm kicking your arse either way."

"S'not friendly," Viggo muttered, rolling to his side.

"Course it is. I'm your friend. So everything I do to you is friendly." Orlando punctuated his declaration with a playful swat to Viggo's behind, before reaching up to stroke his hair.

Viggo rolled back and pulled Orlando's face close. "I don't... I don't want... I mean, I want... shit, I'm too drunk for this."

Brown eyes looked at him with concern. "Are you ok?" Orlando asked. Viggo shook his head. "You wanna talk about it?" Viggo shook his head again. "I'll put some water and paracetamol on the table for you, yeah?"

A hand around his wrist prevented him pulling away.

"Stay," Viggo whispered. "Please?"

Orlando looked down into uncertain blue eyes. "Okay," he whispered in return.

Viggo burrowed under the covers, and lifted a corner of the blanket in invitation as Orlando pulled off his clothes. The sniggers bubbled out of his mouth as the offending boxer shorts were revealed for the second time that night.

"What is it now?"

"Your shorts," he giggled.

Orlando tried to keep his smile down. "I can always leave, you know."

"Mmmmm."

"You couldn't stop me."

A soft snore was his only answer.

"Daft git," he murmured affectionately as he slid into the bed. "You'd better not snore all night, or I'm out of here."

The snores quieted to occasional snuffles as Orlando looked at the man beside him. He could have this night, couldn't he? There was no harm in pretending, after all.

Tomorrow. He'd tell him tomorrow.

Comments

[shaan-lien.livejournal.com]

Very funny. I loved it. Always knew Beanie was a softie. Those northerns *Shakes head*.

[bubble-babs.livejournal.com]

This series is so sweet and cute, I can't wait to read when they finally got together.
Tomorrow. He'd tell him tomorrow. Yes! Tell him!!!
Thank you.

Awwwwww......

[morrigan-d.livejournal.com]

I love this story. Absolutely love it.

It made me laugh, I'm still grinning. Could hear all the boys, see what they were doing, like a piece of being there with them then. Lovely lovely lovely.

Mmm. Yeah.

[willowwing.livejournal.com]

I love watching them watch each other. I can't wait to peek in on their morning.

Sweet and lovely!

[lady-razzle.livejournal.com]

*squees happily*
I love you more with each passing day. *cuddles into your armpit*

Viggo does have such a thing about his weight. I reckon it's his only nod to homosexual vanity. But he so DOES.

Mmmmm, Drunk viggo...

[almost-clara.livejournal.com]

So sweet and funny.
:)

[nitw1t.livejournal.com]

Shweet...and I could seriously imagine Viggo fishing out of an hotel window.

[lostmyfish.livejournal.com]

Isn't Bean adorable? I want to smoosh him.

Glad you liked it, thanks for the feedback :)

[lostmyfish.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much, I'm glad you're enjoying it. I promise it won't be four months until the next part.

Re: Awwwwww......

[lostmyfish.livejournal.com]

Wheee! Glad I made you laugh. Surely when you've got that many daft people in the same place at the same time, silly things are going to happen. In my world, at any rate :P

Thanks for the feedback.

[lostmyfish.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I'm really glad you're still enjoying it, hopefully the next part won't be too far off.

[lostmyfish.livejournal.com]

*Sprays deodorant so you don't suffocate*

The question is WHY does Viggo have a thing about his weight? Maybe it's being on top of skinny Orlando and fearing crushing him.

*Smooshes you*

[lostmyfish.livejournal.com]

Thanks, glad you liked it :)

[lostmyfish.livejournal.com]

OT but icon-related, I saw Aidan Gillen in the flesh last Tuesday, and he is hairy. He must've waxed for QAF.

Thanks for the feedback - Viggo's just a tad crazy, isn't he. I think I actually nicked that idea from a quote from one of the other cast members, don't remember who.

[heather88.livejournal.com]

Aw, this was sweet and lovely. Love the shorts!

How are your finals and all that going? How excited are you for summer?! Lol.