Chapter 5

[miwido.livejournal.com]

 

Title: Running on Faith

Author: Mika
Pairing: VM/OB, OB/HS (implied)
Rating: NC-17 (eventually, anyway)
Disclaimer: It’s all made up. I’m not making any claims about anyone or anything. I make no money from this.

 Thanks for all your comments.  This chapter is angsty (of course), but no where near as bad as the previous chapter(s) have been.  Hope you enjoy.

 

He moved through the following days as if he were in a daze. While he was Legolas, things were fine. He was focused and could block out all the bad feelings while he was in character. The time in between was much harder. The people around him continued to try to hurt him whenever they could. The hobbits had been the worst, openly making plans for nights out drinking, or going to dinner together. They were usually very persuasive and managed to get Viggo to join them on numerous occasions, reveling in the fact that Orlando knew of their plans, and that he knew that he was not welcome. He was virtually alone all of the time, and Orlando was barely able to cope with it. The day of his doctor’s appointment was coming, and he looked forward to getting this over and done with as soon as possible.

 

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Orlando sat quietly in the corner of the waiting room, flipping idly through a magazine while we waited for his name to be called. He had broken down the previous evening and finally told Peter what was happening. He owed that to the director to let him know. Peter sat quietly, mentally absorbing all the details and in the end, he asked Orlando what he could do to help, and that they would do whatever necessary to work around the shooting schedule. He told Orlando that they would be taking about a weeklong break soon, and if he needed surgery, maybe they could do it then. 

 

Orlando was pulled from his thoughts at the call of his name. He stood slowly and made his way to where the nurse stood waiting, his thoughts on nothing but Viggo and how much he needed him right now.

 

He was ushered into an exam room where he undressed and put on the gown, covering himself with the small sheet and waited for the doctor. A middle-aged man named Dr. Adams came in shortly after, introducing himself and getting acquainted with Orlando’s condition. He then buzzed for a nurse to assist in the exam and Orlando lay back on the table, closing his eyes and swallowing down the bile that threatened to rise in his throat. 

 

The exam itself was luckily only slightly uncomfortable and the ultrasound proved to be less invasive than he first thought. His groin throbbed slightly after from all the pressure, but that was nothing new. Orlando had been dealing with that ache for a while now. After getting dressed, Orlando was brought to the doctor’s main office where they could talk about what needed to be done. 

 

Orlando could barely sit still in the chair as Dr. Adams went over his diagnosis. It was indeed a cyst that Orlando had in his testicle and it would need to be surgically removed. Orlando breathed a sigh at the word “cyst”, as he was happy not to be hearing the word “tumor” coming from the doctor’s mouth. Dr. Adams quickly recovered, stating that even though it was a cyst and most likely not a threat, there could still be a chance that there could be pre-cancerous, or even cancerous cells present, but that they would not know for sure until they removed it. Orlando nodded, unable to find his voice. He listened as the doctor went through the steps of the surgery and what would he would need to do during recovery, since this was a fairly simple operation, Orlando would only have to spend one night in the hospital for observation. Orlando’s mind struggled to try to comprehend everything and ask questions were necessary. After scheduling the operation, Orlando left the office and drove home to his empty house in a daze. He sat at the kitchen table with his head in his hands, repeating the words of the doctor in his head. 

 

‘…There could be the possibility of cancerous cells… You’ll need someone to bring you home and stay with you that night and possibly the next day as well until you get your strength back…’

 

Orlando had simply agreed with him and now that he was home, the realization of it all came crashing down on him. He could be sick. No it wasn’t likely, but it could still happen and…he was alone. So very alone. There was no one to help him.

 

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As always, Orlando arrived early to get into costume, and today was no exception. This was the last day of filming before the break. Tomorrow morning at this time, he would be preparing to have surgery and the thought of it gave him a sick feeling. The sound of approaching footsteps brought him back to the present and he settled back in his chair, closing his eyes as if he were resting. 

 

When the trailer door swung open, Viggo walked into the trailer to find Orlando alone. He stared at the man for a few moments, taking in all the physical changes that had come about in such a short period of time. His skin was so pale, he barely needed the makeup that Legolas wore to lighten his skin. The dark circles under his eyes were especially pronounced today, and he looked so thin in the baggy jeans and t-shirt that he wore. He actually looked sick, and Viggo wondered what was happening. Thoughts of drug use crossed his mind, but the other signs weren’t there, making it difficult to pinpoint just what was happening. 

 

Orlando sat stone still in his chair and waited. He knew that it had to be Viggo, for if it were one of the makeup artists, they would have said something by now. It had remained quiet in the trailer for several minutes, and Orlando finally opened his eyes to see what was going on. What he wasn’t expecting was for Viggo to be staring directly at him, a mix of concern and sadness on his face. They locked eyes for a few moments and Orlando had the need to reach for him so badly. He would give anything to have Viggo hold him, even if it was just for a little while. He longed for Viggo’s gentle touches and soothing voice, chasing away the hurt and doubt like he used to. Viggo’s gaze seemed to soften even more, blinking against watery eyes. Orlando’s breath hitched slightly at the sight and he was moments from falling apart when a loud knocking made them both jump. 

 

An assistant stuck her head in the door, announcing that Peter wanted to see all the primary cast in the main conference room at 8 a.m. Leaning in the door a bit more, she whispered that they were not actually going to film today, but Pete wanted to give the official word. As fast as she appeared, she was gone again, and Orlando returned his eyes to Viggo, only to find that he was busying himself at his station, tacking up some new pictures to cover even more of the mirror. Orlando’s sullen face seemed to darken even more as he glanced at the photos, seeing moments in time that were no longer shared with him. Orlando stood up and stuffed some items into a bag. His heart felt like it would burst with pain and sorrow at any minute and he didn’t think he could be alone with Viggo a moment longer. He slung the bag on his shoulder, hoping to find a quiet spot until he had to meet with the others. 

 

Viggo watched discreetly in the mirror as Orlando approached the door and made his way out. He watched carefully as Orlando moved slowly, his body tense. His knuckles were almost white from gripping the doorframe tightly while descending the steps. As the door closed with a soft click, Viggo slid down into his own chair and held his head in his hands. Yes, he was hurt by what had happened, but god, how he missed Orlando. Despite all that had happened, he still loved him. He just had to decide if he could handle taking him back and starting over. Orlando had betrayed him, and it was going to take a long time to totally trust him again.

 

As it turned out the meeting was short, and Peter did indeed give them an extra day off, citing some technical problems. Really he wanted to give Orlando an extra day to rest before his surgery, and considering the scenes that they were filming, he couldn’t give him the day without giving it to the rest. Everyone jumped up, hooting and hollering, as Peter passed out some packets with information about upcoming events when they returned. He made his way down to the end where Orlando sat alone. Dropping the packet on the table, he reached out to squeeze Orlando’s arm. He lowered his voice to let Orlando know that he gave them the day so he could get some rest before tomorrow and that he would come around after the procedure to check on him. Orlando nodded, unable to say anything. He could feel the dam breaking, Peter’s small gesture of comfort overwhelmed him, as it had been the only support he had received from anyone since this started. He gathered his things, sliding from the room and out to where his jeep was parked. He clambered into the drivers seat, rested his face into the crook of his arm and cried his heart out. 

 

Viggo stood in the now empty conference room and watched from the window. Other than their breakup, something else was definitely wrong. He left the building and went in search of Pete. Maybe their director would give him a clue. He wandered around the set for an hour or so, asking all he encountered if they had seen the director. Viggo had already called his cell several times and left messages for Pete to call him back. Finally Viggo learned that Pete had some personal business to deal with and that he would not be back until later that night, and he wouldn’t be back on set until the next morning. Discouraged, he decided to meet with the rest of the cast for drinks at a local bar, before they scattered for the next week.

 

TBC