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vigorli
Title: ALL IS FAIR IN LOVE & WAR CH.6: SWEET DREAMS
Author:
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vigorlilover Pairing: Vigorli, BanaBloom, Karl/Viggo (Implied)
Rating: NC-17 (Overall)
Warning(s): Angst, Violence, AU
Summary: Orlando has known Viggo since he was a child, he grew up in Viggo's neighborhood but as he got older his friendship turned into something more. There was another who was also in love with Viggo, Karl. Karl and Orlando vie for Viggo's affection for years. Karl finally wins Viggo's heart, but has he really?
A/N: One more to go
Disclaimer: Yes, I believe wholeheartedly Viggo and Orlando had this great epic love affair. But I don't have any proof what-so-ever, therefore, this story is a complete fabrication.
Feedback: Yes please; greatly encouraged and appreciated.
Viggo tossed and turned in bed beside Karl who was snoring profusely but that wasn’t why he couldn’t sleep. Orlando had been on his mind more than usual the last couple of nights, if that was even possible. Karl fluttered his eyes looking over to him but he had his back to him. Viggo softly moaned Orlando’s name, to Karl’s displeasure. Karl turned over annoyed, his back was against Viggo now as well but he decided he wasn’t going to let this go.
He turned back to Viggo sitting up, “Viggo wake the Hell up!” He demanded.
Viggo slowly tuned over, “What’s wrong?” He asked.
“You were talking in your sleep.”
Viggo looked at him guiltily, “What did I say?”
“You know damn well what you said, look I will never get you. I’ve been waiting forever to
have what he screwed up with you and you still love him, why?”
“Karl I don’t...” Karl cut him off. “Just stop it, stop lying to me, stop lying to yourself. I’m tried of playing second fiddle to that little tart.”
“This isn’t Orlando’s fault, he hasn’t done anything wrong. You on the other hand go around attacking him at every given chance."
“Oh I was just waiting for you to bring that up again, just tell him the next time he feels like spurting his poison to put a sock in it, or I will put my fist in it.”
Viggo rolled out of bed pulling on his sweats from the floor, “I’m not about to listen to this, I can’t even be near you right now."
“I guess not since I’m not 32 with curly hair, he must be really good in bed that you forget where you belong.” Viggo gave him a stern look and walked out the room slamming the door behind him.
*~*~*
Orlando was laying in bed looking up at the ceiling fan, wishing he could block out the fighting coming from Viggo's thin walls. He heard Viggo storm past his door and head downstairs. Orlando got up and cracked the door, he wanted to go after Viggo but he thought it was best if he left him alone for now. He went to the front window and opened it to let some more air in when he heard noises from the back yard. Orlando got up and went to the back window, he pulled the curtain to the side and looked down by the pool to see Viggo having at it with his punching bag. Orlando felt bad for Viggo, so he changed his mind and decided to go see if he could help him. He slipped on his slippers and went downstairs.
Viggo did pay attention to Orlando when he came up behind him.
“I hope that’s not me you’re thinking about.” Orlando said softly.
“No, Orli, and before you ask, I’m fine.” Viggo replied failing at his reassurance.
Orlando rubbed his upper arm and Viggo push his arms at his side before he lost himself in his touch.
“Sure you are." he said knowing better. "I’m sorry.”
Viggo turned to him, “For what?”
Orlando massaged his neck, “I don’t mean to make life harder for you,
really I don’t.”
“Orlando, come on you’re not.”
Their eyes met, “Yes I do.” Orlando placed his hand across Viggo’s chest, “Every time I do this.” he said feeling Viggo’s heart race.
Orlando let his finger slid down the center of Viggo’s chest until he took his hand. He pulled Viggo's hand to cup his cock between the fabric of his pajamas. “See what you do to me?” Orlando whispered, letting Viggo feel how hard he was. Orlando removed his hand to let Viggo stroke him, Orlando pulled Viggo into a passionate kiss, Viggo removed his hand and tightened his arms around Orlando’s waist, letting his hands slide inside the back of his pants, squeezing his ass. Viggo was able to lift him enough to push him back against the barn, tagging his body against Orlando in sweet lust and romance. Orlando broke the kiss, they locked themselves in each other’s eyes.
“I belong to you, Viggo, you’re a part of me and I’m a part of you. That’s why I fight so hard for you and I’ll never let you go, never again.”
Viggo kissed his forehead, when Orlando continued,
“And I know you have someone to love now, but can you really forget about us?”
Viggo looked at him like it was the most ridiculous thing in the words, “Orli, I have n...”
Orlando put his finger to his lips, “Don’t tell me, show me...Orlando gave Viggo’s shoulder a gentle squeeze before exiting back through the patio. Viggo sighed watching Orlando through the glass door going back up the stairs.
*~*~*
Orlando turned around when Viggo opened the door, closing the bedroom door behind him he came up to Orlando pulling him close.
“I will never forget our love, baby.” he said pushing him back until they fell on the bed.
Viggo kissed Orlando’s neck, pulling his shirt over his head, pulling off his pajama bottoms, Viggo pulled off his sweats.
“Make love to me, Viggo, make love to me like it is the last thing you’ll ever do.” Orlando moaned.
Viggo kissed his way down his chest taking all of Orlando in his mouth. Orlando whimpered while running his hands through Viggo’s hair, Viggo deep throated Orlando and the sensation was too much to bare that he came hard and fast in his mouth. Orlando’s breathing subdued, he pulled Viggo up to him and they kissed passionately. Orlando could taste himself on Viggo’s lips and that only made him want more. Viggo kiss his way around Orlando’s mouth to his neck.
“Turn over.” Viggo whispered. Orlando obeyed and Viggo was now behind him and Orlando was on all fours. Orlando jerked when he felt Viggo at his entrance, he centered himself to make sure Orlando could feel him, Viggo gripped his hips sliding himself into his willing body. Viggo held one hand on Orlando’s hip and the other he ran through his hair. Orlando moaned, “Ahh, Vigggo!”
“Shhh.” Viggo said trying to keep Karl from hearing what was going on in there.
“I love you, Orli.”
Orlando shivered like the words we ice cycles falling from the sky, so perfect, so magic.
Viggo rocked his hips faster, now holding onto Orlando’s shoulder when he was peeking, he let himself go inside Orlando. Both of them fell flat on the bed, Orlando turned in Viggo arms, they cradled each other.
“See what you’ve been missing?”
Viggo laughed, “Since a few nights ago.”
Orlando gave him scrutinizing look, “I didn’t mean that, I’m talking about this right here, us being together, holding each other like we’ll die if we don’t.”
“I miss that too, Orli.”
“Then why can’t it be like it was.”
“You know why.”
Orlando looked down sadly, “You still don’t trust me, do you?”
Viggo ran his hand down the side of Orlando’s face, “It’s not so much about that.”
“Don’t tell me it’s about Karl.”
“No, even though it should be, it’s not.”
“Then what is it? You say you love me, then come back to me.”
“Orlando, it’s not that simple I have to really think about this. There is just too much to consider.”
“You don’t seem to have anything to consider when you’re jumping in the sack with me!” Orlando yelled at him.
“Ok, I see that you’re trying to start an argument.” Viggo pulled himself away from him, turning on the lamp and sitting on the side of the bed.
“No I’m telling you the truth and you can’t stand it.” Orlando sat up.
“Orli, you’re being ridiculous. You’re acting like a child!"
“What does it matter if I am, you say one thing, Viggo, and do another. Then you do something else and mean another. So who is the one being childish?" he cried.
“Why do you always have to do this to yourself? Upsetting yourself for no reason.”
Orlando shook his head and rolled out of bed, he pulled on his robe. Viggo saw that he didn’t want to hear what he had to say. Viggo got up and came around to Orlando's side of the bed.
He attempted to grab his wrist, “Come on, Orli.”
Orlando snatched his arm away.
“No you come on, Viggo! Which is it you love me? You want me? You need me? You sleep me but you can’t be with me? I’m just your little whore the side!"
“WHAT?! How dare you say that to me, I would never use you like that! I love you, I always have, I gave you everything! AND YOU DESTROYED IT! YOU LEFT ME REMEMBER?! And for what, Orli, for what…ERIC?” Viggo looked away for a moment, “You hurt me, you broke my heart when I saw you with him."
Orlando’s tears began to pour like raindrops, “I hurt you..." He cried.
Viggo regretted that he said anything when he saw the pain in Orlando’s eyes, even though he felt it needed to be said. Still no matter what Viggo could never bare to see Orlando suffering. Viggo took a step closer to him reaching out for him but he slapped his hand away, “I HURT YOU?” He repeated more harshly, “What about what you did to me?”
The words ls caught Viggo off guard, “What are you...” Viggo started.
*RING*
Before Viggo could get it out the phone ringed, Orlando wiped his tears and sat at the edge of the bed.
“WHAT?” Viggo shouted into the receiver annoyed by the interruption.
“Hey...” Sean said hesitantly, catching Viggo’s tone.
“Oh, shit!” Viggo said looking at the clock on the nightstand, 10:45 pm. “I forgot, I’ll be there in a minute.”
“Ok, hurry I don’t want to miss The Tonight Show.”
“Yea.” Viggo said hanging up the phone.
He looked back at Orlando, “I have to go pick up Sean, but we’re not finish.”
Orlando gave him a pain felt stare, “Believe me we’re more than finish.”
“Look just get some sleep, it’s been a long night for both of us, we’ll finish talking in the morning.”
Orlando sat hunched over on the bed with his face in his hands. “I won’t be here in the morning.”
Viggo sighed, he came and squatted in front of him, placing his hands on his knees, “Orli, will you please stay?” Viggo begged.
Orlando pulled away from him and laid back down, without saying anything and Viggo took that as a yes.
Viggo stood up, looking down at him. Orlando's soft sobs tearing Viggo up inside, when he couldn’t hear anymore he turned and left.
Before he got in his jeek, Viggo looked up at Orlando’s window, apart of him wanting to run back in the house and pull Orlando in his arms and make love to him over and over again while telling him he loves him and he only ever wanted him. But Viggo held his feet in place, he watched the light in the room go out, in an instance he felt like a light went out on their love.
On the way to the airport Viggo remembered the worst day of his life...
******************
6 Years Earlier
“Where are you going?” Viggo entered the bedroom to see Orlando packing, he looked like he’d been crying but Orlando was emotional like that and Viggo didn’t think it was that serious.
“I need to get out of here.” Viggo said moving around and avoiding looking directly at Viggo.
“Why?” Viggo asked, mustered confusion radiating though him.
“I just need space, Viggo, I’m sure you do too.”
“When are you coming back?" Viggo asked sadly feeling tears already dancing on his eyelids.
“I don’t think I am coming back.”
“Orlando you’re being ridiculous, now give me those and lets talk about this.”
Viggo tried to grab his bags but Orlando held them away from him.
“No, we don’t have anything to talk about, now let me go.”
“No! What is wrong with you.”
“You really wanna know?" He finally looked at Viggo’s worn expression, “You, Viggo, you’re the problem and I can’t be with you anymore, you treat me like a child and I’m sick of it.”
“Well tell me what to do, I’ll change.” he promised.
“You can’t, it’s in your nature you still think I’m a little boy, you can’t be my lover and my father, Viggo.”
Viggo throat began to feel like sandpaper, “I don’t understand.”
Orlando stopped in the doorway without turning around, he left.
Viggo continued to follow him out the house, “Orlando, please.” He called begging him to come back.
Orlando through his bags in the car. Viggo followed him around to the driver's side, holding onto the door to keep Orlando from getting in.
"Orli don't, whatever it is we can get through it. Therapy, anything, just don't leave me! Please." he cried, tears roaming down his face.
Orlando hid his own and pushed Viggo back away from the car.
"I have to go!"
He got in and drove off without another word, leaving Viggo standing in the driveway, crying as he drove up the street unable the help glancing at Viggo in the rear view mirror.
Viggo went back in the house, looking for anything he could to explain how Orlando could just leave him, he tried calling him, there was no answer. He went back outside, he sat on his porch, he had to find Orlando, but he wouldn’t talk to him, why? Viggo tried remember the last few days, if he said something, did he do something wrong?
He looked up and there was Karl.
“Hey, Viggo.”
“Karl I really don’t feel like talking.”
“I saw you and Orlando fighting.”
“I need to go talk to him, I just don’t know where he went.” he sighed and lowered his eyes.
“He’ll come back, he always does. Do you want me to help you find him?” Karl asked
Viggo looked up, surprised, “You’re going to help me...Find Orlando?”
“Yes, we’re still friends aren’t we.”
Viggo nodded and they went to Karl’s car.
They drove all around the neighborhood when Viggo spotted Orlando’s Toyota Hybrid around the corner. “Wait, wait, Karl stop the car, what is he doing here?” Orlando was at Eric’s. Viggo got out the car, Karl followed and they went to knock on the door, they heard music from inside and Viggo knocked again still no answer.
"Eric was in the Navy..." Karl reminded him, "He doesn't think he's a victim for home invasions." he added.
Viggo looked at him skeptically "So you think I should just go in?"
"If you need to talk to Orlando, I don't see why not."
Viggo nodded and turned the knob to see if the door was unlocked and it was. He walked through the black and white living room that consisted of leather furniture, a checkered floor, and a huge entertainment center that any bachelor would appreciate.
Viggo hesitated and looked to Karl, “Which way is Eric’s room?” Karl pointed to the upstairs bedroom at the far end of the hall, they walked up the stairs, Viggo thought he heard muffled moans coming from the bedroom...
The door was open; as Viggo got closer the moans got louder and Viggo’s heart beat faster. Viggo came into the doorway and to his horror he saw what he feared the most since Orlando was 15...He was there under Eric. Viggo felt his heart shatter into a million pieces when he saw Eric pushing in an out of him, Orlando’s face was contorted in passion...A passion he was only suppose to know with Viggo. Karl came to stand next, he gasped and Orlando and Eric looked to the door way, Orlando opened his eyes from his haze to see a broken hearted Viggo.
“V.i.g.g.o..." he stuttered.
Viggo turned and 'ran back down the stairs, Orlando pushed Eric off him and with the sheet wrapped around him, Orlando ran past Karl following Viggo calling after him.
“Viggo, wait...It's not like that, let me explain.” He screamed almost tripping, Viggo turned around to face Orlando, “Just answer me one thing...Why him?”
Orlando wiped his face, loosing his grip on any explanation he could give, he looked up at Viggo with nothing but the utmost shame, he said, “Because he was there.”
Viggo nodded, “Just like that, Orli? I don’t even know who you are right now, you don’t even love him, Orlando. How could you?”
“I’m sorry.” He cried at Viggo's feet.
“YOU’RE SORRY?! IS THAT ALL YOU CAN SAY?! I told you we could have worked it out, but this...how do we come back from this, we can’t!" Orlando grabbed his wrist, “Viggo, please don’t leave.” he pleaded falling on his knees.
“I begged you not leave, then what 5 seconds later you’re in bed with him.” Viggo snatched his hand away. “You win, you wanted to hurt me so I would leave you alone, fine you’re free. We’re over!”
Orlando grabbed his arms again,“No, we will never be over, Viggo.”
Karl and Eric came to stand on the porch.
Viggo pushed him down, he struggled to get back up, Viggo wanted to help him but his pride wouldn’t let him, “I can’t even look at you, because now every time I do, I’m going to see you with him.”
Orlando held his chest, the tears felt like they would never stop streaming down his face, “What have I done?” he asked himself beginning to drown in his own sorrow.
Viggo let his own tears fall as he walked away from Orlando, “Bye, Orlando.” he said under his breath, never looking back.
**********************
End Flashback
**********************
Viggo knew a part of him would never get over Orlando, but he also knew what they had would never be the same. The betrayal was too great. Then there was Karl, who was always there waiting hoping Viggo would return the love he gave Orlando so willingly. But Viggo wasn’t sure he could ever give that to him, he’s tried to the last five years but the love he had for Orlando was still very much alive.
Then again, he couldn’t wait to make up his mind who he wanted to be with. It wasn’t fair to him, Orlando, or Karl and Karl never betrayed him, but Orlando didn’t mean to, a part of Viggo knew that. Viggo knew he regretted it soon as it was over. He'd swore it only happened once but if what they had was so real, how could Orlando let himself go astray? Viggo often asked himself. Viggo knew one thing he didn't have time to figure it out. When Orlando also made the decision to move on with Eric, and when Viggo tried to talk about what happened to them, Orlando would change the subject or cry; making Viggo out to be the bad guy for even bringing it up. Maybe it was time he gave Karl the love he deserves and finally let Orlando go. But every time he came to making that decision, Orlando always seemed to be there to remind him why it was a decision his heart would not allow him to make.
Viggo almost passed up Sean when he finally realized he was at the airport and he would have passed him up if Sean hadn’t shouted after the Jeep.
“Hey, mate, forgot where you were going?” Sean asked looking in Viggo’s passenger side window. He put his bags in the backseat.
“Yea, my mind was wondering.” Viggo said over his shoulder, Sean got in and they drove off.
“I’ll say, so spill it what has Orlando done now?”
Viggo gripped the stirring wheel, “Nothing.” He glanced at Sean’s disbelieving face, “It’s just after tonight I don’t know what to do anymore.”
“What happened?”
“It’s been a long time since I seen him this low, Beanie, so vulnerable, so angry, not since...”
“The day you two broke up and you left him crying on Eric’s lawn?" Sean finished sternly not hiding the fact that he still held resentments towards Viggo about that. “Yes, Viggo, I remember that day, you would have thought the world stopped, I know it did for Orlando.”
“It did for me too, why did he have to cheat and why did it have to be with Eric? The cheating part already felt like he ripped out my heart, but Eric, now that just felt like he stomped on it.” Viggo glanced at Sean waiting for his response, he said nothing but it was obvious he was thinking it.
Viggo thought nothing of it and continued, "But Karl, he was there to help me get though the worst year of my life. He helped me when I felt lost, he helped me cope with all those lonely nights without Orli. He was always there and I never saw it."
"Yea, he was always there, Viggo, and didn't that seem a bit strange?" Sean eerily reminded him.
Viggo flashed on him, “What's strange is how something so beautiful, so perfect could be tainted in a matter of seconds.”
Sean sighed, still trying his best to hold his tongue and not say too much.
Viggo continued, “But Orlando, I don’t think I will ever get over him. I’m not even sure if I want to. Even when I started going out with Karl, Orli was always first, and he still is. Then there was Eric who treated him like shit, and I was always still the one to clean up behind those that really couldn’t allow themselves to care for him.”
“Viggo, Eric treated him like shit because he knew Orlando’s heart was still with you. Orlando never loved Eric.”
“I think we all know that by now. But he left and hopped in the bed with someone who only wanted one thing from him since he was a kid, and he gave it to him without a second thought. How can I ever forget that and how can I open myself up to him after what he did to me?”
Sean finally cracked, “What about you, Viggo?”
Viggo gave him a puzzled looked.
“What about what you did to him?” Sean asked immediately wishing he hadn't, he realized his misstep and wished himself out of the jeep, to no avail.
“Ok, Orlando said the same thing before I left. What the Hell is going on between you two?” Viggo asked demanding.
Sean sat back stubbornly, “It’s nothing, forget I said anything.”
“SEAN! Damnit! What are you two not telling me?”
Sean relented, “It’s nothing you don’t already know.” he said.
When Sean still saw Viggo’s agitation and confusion he went on, “I promised him I would never say anything but you are really pissing me off right now. Viggo, if you love him so much and your life is not complete without him…Why would you write the opposite about him in your journal.”
“What are you talking about?” Viggo asked making glances back and forth between Sean and the road.
Sean reached behind him and opened his bag and pulled out a piece of paper with writing on it torn from Viggo’s journal. “This, Viggo, this is why Orlando left you and it’s all your fault!”
*********************
6 Years Earlier
Sean came into what use to be Orlando’s and Viggo’s bedroom to see Orlando packing up the rest of his things, “So it’s true, I had to see for myself.”
Orlando turned to him briefly before continuing to take the clothes out of his side of the closet, “If you've come here to lecture me, please spare me.”
“Orlando, you have been in love with Viggo since you were 15 how could you cheat how him?”
“It’s more complicated than that.”
“Then please, enlighten me.”
Orlando turned to him, “Fine! I didn’t cheat, I left him so how could I have cheated if we were broken up?”
“Don’t get smart, you wouldn’t just throw yourself at Eric right after you left Viggo without having a pretty damn good reason. Viggo’s too hurt right now to see that.”
“I didn’t have to throw myself at Eric.” Orlando spat back nastily.
Sean scratched his forehead, “Orlando!”
“WHAT? WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY?” Orlando yelled in a whiny voice.
Sean changed his tone to a softer one, “I just want to understand, you two are my best friends and I’d hate to have to choose sides but the way you’re acting is making me want to lean towards Viggo’s.”
“I don’t need you to be on my side, I don’t need anyone I just need to get out to get out of here before Viggo gets back.” Orlando tried to walk past him, letting his tears fly.
Sean blocked his exit, he grabbed his arms, “No you’re going to talk to me, I can see you’re upset. What happen?”
“Nothing, just let me go!”
Sean held his shoulders, “Orli wait did Viggo do something?
Orlando lowered his eyes, “No.” He said through cliched teeth.
Sean could tell there was more than Orlando was willing to say, he began to sooth his arms, “Did Viggo hurt you?” Sean knew it was a ridiculous question but he’d thought he would ask anyway.
Orlando lowered his eyes, “Yes, but he doesn’t know that.” Orlando turned away from him and sat at the foot of the bed, Sean came to sit next him, He stroked his curls giving him time to gather his words.
Orlando wiped the tears, while sniffing, “He doesn’t love me anymore.”
Sean arched his eyebrow, “Orlando, don’t be ridiculous, you know how crazy Viggo is about you.”
Orlando shook his head, “He was just being nice.”
“Where is this coming from? Did he tell you that?”
“He didn’t have to, he wrote it down.” Orlando reached in his pocket and pulled out a torn piece paper. “It’s from Viggo’s journal.” he said, handing it to Sean. Sean took it and began to read...
Dear Orlando,
The letter you will never see.
I want to start off by saying I care for you deeply, how could I not I’ve been practically the father figure you never had your entire life. There lies the problem; I am too old to be in this relationship. You need to be with someone your own age that you can laugh and talk with, someone who share the same interest as you. I don’t think I can be that man anymore, I’d be lying to you if I said I could. And I’d be lying to myself if I could just accept what I should have known all along, and that is you’re just to young for me. I’m trying, believe me, but what I have been feeling since we began dating is mere infatuation, nothing more. How do I find the words to tell you, I love you, but I am no longer in love with you and that I am in love with another? A man who I can be myself with, a man who can love me seriously, a man who doesn’t play games, someone who I can love in return and I found all that in Karl. I wanted to remain the man you looked up to, if you knew what I was feeling you would hate me and I couldn’t allow that. I’m being selfish, I know. I should just let you go find someone who will love you the way I can’t. I should just be with Karl like I want but I made a commitment to you long ago to love you and protect you; take care of you and make you happy. I have chosen to honor that the best way I know how. Even if it’s the hardest thing in the world for me to do. I’m sorry I never told you any of this, Orlando; even more I’m sorry I never will.
Your Always,
Viggo
Sean took his eyes off the letter and looked back at Orlando, “Where did you get this?”
Orlando looked away guiltily, “I found it.”
“WHERE, orli?” Sean demanded.
“Ok, I was just looking through some of Viggo’s artwork on his desk.”
He walked pass Sean and stopped to look at him, “I wasn’t snooping.” He said defensively. “Even though he always told me not to peek and wait until he was finish with his drawings, but I saw this sticking out from under the pile he was going to throw away."
Sean shook his head and balled up the letter and tossed it in the trash, “Orlando that letter is preposterous, let’s call Viggo and talk to him about this.”
“NO!” He screamed, “You saw what it said, I’m not even suppose to know about it.”
“Then you would think he would have done a better job hiding it.”
“Maybe secretly he thought I would find it so I could break up with him and he would be off the hook.” Orlando said going over to the little trash bin and taking out the bawled up letter.
Sean continued to sit not knowing how else to comfort Orlando, “I don’t know what to say, Orli, I’m sorry.”
“How could he do this to me, Beanie.” Orlando began crying and Sean went and pulled him against his chest, he combed his fingers through his curls.
“He has to know why you did what you did.”
“Why? He couldn’t tell me that what we had has all been a lie, I don’t own him anything.”
Sean nodded in silent agreement, “Well what are you going to do now?”
“I’m staying with Eric.”
“Orli, you’re kidding, right?”
“No, at least he has never hidden what his intentions were towards me, and he doesn’t pretend to love me.”
“Up until this morning you didn’t think Viggo had either. You should put the letter back, Viggo’s going to know you took and then how are you going to explain yourself?”
Orlando walked around the room, “Didn't you hear what I said, he was going to throw it away. It wasn't even dated, so who knows how long he's been feeling this way. He would have let us spend the rest of our lives together even though he did not want to be with me, just to keep from hurting me. Well, he will never know how badly he's hurt me.
"But it's ok that you hurt him?"
"It's better this way, so will you leave it alone?!"
Sean sighed at how stubborn Orlando was being. Sean picked up Orlando’s painting next to his suitcase.
“How could you think the person that gave you this could write that. I think you’re making a big mistake not talking to him about this.”
Orlando snatched the painting for him and sat it back down on the bed, “No this is the right decision, Viggo is free to be with Karl now. I love him so much, so I have to let him go.”
“And that’s why you slept with Eric? Of all people, Eric. You really wanted to kick him where it hurts."
"I really wish he hadn't seen that, I do. But I guess he needed to, the same way he needed me to need him. But not anymore, I won't be his responsibility or his burden any longer, he can stop trying to protect me from myself and everyone else now and live his own life."
Sean didn’t want to let Orlando give up so easily. He pulled out his cell phone, “I don’t believe what I'm hearing and and I certainly don't believe anything on that page. I’m calling Viggo right now.”
Orlando came and snatched the phone away, “No, let it go, we’re over, Beanie; both me and Viggo accept it, now you do the same.”
Sean looked down at the letter crumbled up in Orlando’s hand. "Orli, Viggo doesn't love Karl. You should know that better than anyone. Don’t do this! Don't throw your love away so easily."
"Easy, you think this is easy? You think it's easy to walk away from the only person who's ever gave a damn about me? You think it's easy to know I don't make him happy? You think it's easy to know Viggo doesn't love me anymore?" he screamed.
Orlando's heartfelt reply brought tears to Sean's eyes. Sean watched him walk around the bed.
Orlando stared down at the painting like he was in a trance and a thousand memories were flashing through his mind, "It's not easy..." He said slowly gliding hid fingers down the middle of the painting between him and Viggo, "But I have to do it, Viggo has gave up so much to make sure I was ok. It's time I do the same for him."
Orlando finished by wiping away a tear and placing the painting in his suitcase. He turned to look at Sean, "And you're going to let it stay that way, I'm begging you."
Orlando saw Sean' s hesitation and he went into another hysteric.
“PROMISE ME!” Orlando ordered desperately.
Sean look into Orlando’s pleading eyes, that in all the years he’s known him have been filled with light and joy. Now, replaced with sorrow and pain because his happily ever after had come to a screeching halt. He relented a sigh, “Fine, Orli, I promise.”
***********************
END FLASHBACK
***********************
Viggo was quiet as he listened to the end of the story.
“I took the letter from him when was at my place because every time he looked at it he broke down and cried but he would read it all the time to try to remind himself why he left you and why he...”
Viggo cut him off, “Wait, wait, wait a minute! Orlando left me because of that letter?” Sean nodded.
“He slept with Eric because of that letter?” he added his disbelief growing like a tumor.
“Yes, Viggo, why are you acting like this you didn’t realize he’d taken it after all these years?”
Viggo turned on him, “Are you serious, Sean?! I didn’t write that!” he snapped.
“You didn’t?”
“NO, idiot!”
“But it was from your journal and it was in your studio.”
“Where Orlando would conveniently find it, I use to tell Orlando all the time not to peek at my unfinished art work and he still did it, so why on earth would I write that and leave it there knowing he would come across it?”
Sean was silent knowing Viggo was right.
“Why didn’t you tell me this before? I would expect this from Orlando he’s impulsive and stubborn, but c’mon, you?!”
“He made me promise.”
“And what good did that really do, we were already broken up.”
“He just thought...” Sean started.
Viggo’s cracked voice finished his statement.
“I didn’t love him anymore.” Viggo started to cry, “I love him so much it hurts like I can’t breathe without him, I hate that I didn’t show him that enough, and I certainly wasn’t falling in love with Karl. I’ve tried to love him but Orlando is the first face I see when I wake up and the last face I see when I got to sleep. That kind of love you don’t just...”Viggo paused growing a bitter taste in his mouth, “Fall out of...”
Sean put a comforting hand on his arm.
"He didn't know, Viggo, you were the one person he could count on. When he thought he'd lost that, he was devastated. For all he knew it seemed real, you wouldn't go back to him. You choose to stay with Karl."
Viggo's deathly silence was making Sean uneasy.
Sean began to realize the ramification of his actions and that Orlando had been manipulated into leaving Viggo, and immediately grew angry at whoever had done so.
“So if you didn’t write it, who did?”
Viggo didn’t have to think twice about the one person who would prosper from him and Orlando breaking up, Viggo looked to Sean.
“Karl...” Viggo said, his voice growing dark.
Sean nodded, “Viggo, I’m sorry.”
“Not as sorry as Karl’s going to be.” He said angrily, then he grew nervous. “He’s there with Orlando now. Karl and I had an argument and Orli was upset. And you know how Karl is when he gets mad at Orlando and Orlando is so vulnerable when he’s feeling lost. ”
“But Karl, he wouldn’t really hurt him...would he?” Sean asked also feeling apprehensive.
“After this and on top of everything he's ever done to Orlando, I don’t know what he’s capable of. And I don’t want to take that chance, I have to get Orli.”
Viggo was body was filled with trepidation as he picked up the speed, flying as he headed to his home.
Orlando cried for what seemed like hours for him but only minutes for the rest of the world after Viggo left. His tears were tears of confusion and lost, he didn’t understand why Viggo would do this to him. He said he loved him. He knew he needed him. He made love to him. Still, he chooses to stay with Karl. Orlando wrapped his arms around the pillow that was drowning in his tears, he brought his knees up to his chest cradling himself like a baby. His mind began to wander, his
heart was shattered and if he couldn’t have Viggo, what is the point of living. The thought went as quickly as it came, Orlando knew that would destroy Viggo even if it would give him the piece he deserved so he could finally move on. After all, he still questioned if Viggo loved him anyway. Orlando let the last rain of tears fall as he fell asleep.
Karl listened outside the door at the younger man's sobbing, and his muffled voice calling out to Viggo. Karl knew one thing for certain this wasn’t the end. Viggo would never let Orlando go and Karl would always be a step behind. The letter wasn’t good enough, catching him with Eric wasn't good enough; no, he had to completely eliminate Orlando from the equation. He would make it painless and he would make it swift.
He turned the knob cracking the door so the light from the hall was making pathway to Orlando’s sleeping presence. Karl walked to the bed, so he was standing over Orlando listening to his soft breathing and watched his tear stained cheeks. He sat beside him on the edge of the bed, Orlando stirred but was still dead to the world.
Karl ran his finger down Orlando’s cheek, then brushed his hair out of his eyes, “You can have anyone you want.” He said softly. “You couldn’t just let me have, Viggo.” He reached over to the side of the bed picking up the extra pillow. The plan was simple; once Orlando was dead, he would drive his car off the bridge, he would have been so upset that he wasn’t paying attention to where he was going. Viggo told him to stay but his stubbornness got the best of him as usual. Viggo would grieve of course, but I would be there to help him, Karl though deviously. After all I always have; this time there would be no misses, I would have finally won the war, Orlando will be gone forever. Karl took the pillow holding it above Orlando‘s face.
“I’m sorry, Viggo.” He whispered and pushed it down.
The shock overtook Orlando, he couldn’t breath. He was suffocating, his whimpers did nothing to thwart Karl's murderous attempt.
Orlando stuggled to wave his arms, and kicked out his feet. But Karl was too strong as put all his body weight on the thinner man.
Orlando dug his nails into the Karl's arm. But Karl’s anger and rage kept him from even flinching as he tried to rid the world of someone so important to someone he claimed to love so much.
Orlando felt himself slipping, his resistance failing as life began to leave him. His life started to flash before his eyes, he saw his parents, he remembered the first day he met Viggo, he saw Dominic and Elijah, he saw Beanie, then he saw again the one person that made life worth living. Viggo and his beautiful smile, his laugh, his poetic energy, his love.
There was a loud thud and Orlando’s body went limp, how he wished to have held Viggo one last time and tell him how sorry he was.
How he wished he could have held on a little bit longer to tell Viggo how much he loved him. Orlando slipped one last breath, his body went limp, and that’s when he saw it, the white light.
***********************
TBC
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no subject
Date: 2010-01-22 11:48 am (UTC)Did Viggo make it? You wouldn't dare to kill Orlando?!
Hope this story has a happy-ending...
*hugs*
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Date: 2010-01-22 12:23 pm (UTC)PLEASE don't kill Orli.... unless Karl dies in fire. EEEEEEEK!
Noooooo
Date: 2010-01-22 12:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-01-24 11:55 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-01-24 03:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-01-24 06:11 pm (UTC)Just hoping Viggo and Sean are already there and can revive Orlando!
no subject
Date: 2010-01-24 09:30 pm (UTC)