vigorli

Title: Illusions (1/1)
Author:

obvmluver
Beta::

gypsy33_66
Pairing: Viggo/Orlando
Rating: PG-13
Summary: "Do you ever think about how it could have been?"
Warnings: Angst (at least an attempt at that)
Disclaimer: Lies, lies, it's all lies.
Feedback: Would be appreciated.
A/N: A huge thank you to my friend,

pale80, who made the banner for me.

Stars were shining above The Kodak Theater in Los Angeles; even the bright floodlights couldn’t dim them or the moon. Laughter and conversation was in the air, coloring the open room, almost drowning the soft music played by the live band. Champagne was flowing making people tipsy and more talkative than usual.

Orlando looked at Miranda who was chatting with her friends a few feet away, feeling empty and lonely in an unexplainable way - or he could explain the feeling just by looking across the room, looking at the familiar face, but he didn’t want to, couldn’t. Standing up from his seat Orlando made his way to the balcony; he desperately needed fresh air to stop the overwhelming feeling from reaching the surface.

Leaning against the balcony railing he looked over the city, sighing. Life was hard for him now, harder than before. He hated paparazzi and needed these little getaway places, like the balcony, to escape from the harsh reality, to remain sane. He felt he was pulled in too many directions, couldn’t be who he was inside. He was the daydream of teenaged girls and older women, the embodiment of a straight man.

Orlando had always despised labelling, how people needed to put others into molds, to fit in with the society, and originality, difference, everything distinguishing from the straight appearance was unacceptable, or thought to be somehow too eccentric. That’s why he kept his heart confined, never letting himself just be. He had learned to act as a well-mannered, young man long ago when, if revealed, he was just a man with flaws, he wasn’t perfect, couldn’t fit in with the mold.

Orlando straightened his back as he sensed he wasn’t alone anymore. He didn’t want to turn around, wasn’t curious enough to find out who had come out. Maybe it was one of the guests having a smoke, someone he didn’t know, but maybe it was the same familiar face he had seen countless of times before, knew the man behind it. Maybe it was Viggo who had, just like him, needed to escape the reality just for a few minutes.

They were so much alike in many ways; they both loved art, both in their own different way but loved art nonetheless. They were restless souls always feeling like they didn’t belong, these sad beings needing fresh air when things got too much, two lonely broken hearts needing respite. They also carried the same secret in the tiny pieces of their broken hearts.

Viggo leaned against the railing, casually letting his elbow touch Orlando’s, needing the little subtle contact more than anything. He was quiet for a long time, content to just watch the long lashes fluttering against soft cheeks with every blink from the corner of his eye. The need to break the silence became too much and he cleared his throat.

“Do you ever think about how it could have been?” he asked, his voice quiet, almost too soft to hear.

“Every single day,” Orlando answered quietly with a low voice, keeping his eyes fixed upon the city lights, fighting hard to keep his face expressionless.

“Maybe we can... Someday?” another soft, quiet and hopeful inquiry.

“I hope so,” Orlando answered, his voice cracked, thin, pained.

Viggo, encouraged by Orlando's words, turned and faced Orlando fully, gently grabbing his hand and turning him too. Taking a tentative step forwards Viggo brought their faces close to each other, looking deep into the brown eyes. He sank his fingers into the hair on Orlando’s neck and gently pulled him forwards, making their foreheads come in contact. Orlando, momentarily panicked, fearing they would get caught, tried to pull away but the overwhelming feeling of safety surrounding him drained all his will to run away. He closed his eyes, turned his head slightly, their noses touched and the tears that had welled up now ran free on his cheeks.

“Promise me...” he whispered, unable to trust his voice anymore.

“I’ll always be yours,” Viggo began, sliding his warm hand along Orlando’s neck and chest, finally coming in contact with Orlando’s heart and touching the place with fingertips.. “Deep inside.”

Orlando nodded, their upper lips touching by accident, and he pulled away, away from the safety, away from the warmth and away from love. He had to get away before he’d succumb to what he truly desired, and in the world they both lived in, it wasn’t acceptable. A strangled ‘I’m sorry’ escaped his lips before he stumbled back in leaving Viggo outside wondering, what exactly had happened.

Viggo kept staring at the stars and the moon up in the sky, berating himself for slipping, for putting them in danger by letting his emotions direct himself. Someday they may have a chance to be together, but until then they had to live in cells, pretend to love others, pretend Orlando loved Miranda and Viggo loved his girlfriend. They had hope, kindled in moments like this, but until they could be together it was fool’s hope. Everything they had.

~*The End*~