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vigorliTitle : Sometimes a goodbye is a second chance PART I
Author :![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
obvmluver
Beta: by the lovelypeppervl
Pairing : Viggo/Orlando
Rating : PG-13
Summary : “Tell me that a goodbye is a second chance.”
Feedback : Please, let me know what you think. Constructive criticism is always good.
Disclaimer : Fiction and Lies.
I quietly slipped out of the warehouse where my last scene was shot. Everything felt so final, intensified by my bow breaking at the end of the shoot. I was leaving home soon, leaving wonderful memories behind; some sad but mostly happy. I felt I had finally belonged somewhere in this world, was finally part of something great and I found joy in knowing that. It wasn’t enough to push aside the thoughts of intense sadness I felt now, though, the sense of loss, too many words left unspoken, and too many secrets needing to be told.
I put the broken bow down onto the rock next to me and sighing, unbraided my wig starting with the big braid at the back and continuing the process with the smaller ones behind my still-pointed ears. Sighing again I stepped onto the rock and, picking up my bow turned to face the orange sunset. I knew I had changed so much during the time I had spent in New Zealand; I had grown up a lot but I also had found a new emotion, felt it washing over me like a wave leaving me feeling empty because I knew it was one-sided. Some might say I couldn’t know, at twenty-three, what I felt, that I hadn’t seen enough, experienced enough to call it love. People would say it was a mere meaningless crush, strong hero worship, or something else, perhaps slightly obscured friendship, but nothing more.
I had done a lot of soul searching, completely in private, during the long hours at night when I couldn’t sleep. I’d watch Viggo, with whom I shared the trailer, softly snoring, his face turned towards the back wall, and feel the emotion rise. Maybe it was just hero worship, Viggo was everything I had always wanted to be, but maybe, just maybe, it was deeper than that. I recalled slipping out into the night, quietly, when everything got a little too much, when I longed to touch the stubbled cheeks, when watching wasn’t enough and I needed a distraction.
Rain had become my friend during the time in New Zealand, it had washed away a lot of my sorrows and worries, sometimes even pain, just like the night. I loved the fact that in the darkness I could abandon the barriers I held in place during the day because I knew in silence I wouldn’t be rejected. In my daydreams I could be happy.
Warm, wet tears found their way onto my cheeks as the unfamiliar pain inside reached a new sphere. The gentle wind felt cool on my cheek and I welcomed it. It was a complete opposite to a whisper against sensitized skin. It was easy to imagine the blond hairs billowing against my neck were the fingertips of the certain someone tempting me into a sensual dance, deeper into the glorious union of two minds and souls.
I had never thought my feelings were wrong in some way. They had felt true and natural from the beginning once the shock of realization had worn off. What I couldn’t understand was how difficult it was to voice the carefully hidden thoughts. Partially I feared rejection and partially I feared I would ruin everything I had carefully built during the past eighteen months.
Determined on forgetting I ever felt anything, I sighed and cast my eyes up to the sky and pretended I’d still be in Middle-Earth, travelling to the shore and later boarding a ship that would carry me to the Undying Lands. Closing them, I concentrated on calming my raging emotions. I didn’t want anyone to see how affected I was by all this. I didn’t want anyone to come to me asking if I was alright. I hated that it was over. I hated the fact that I had fallen in love against my own will, let the love blossom from something as simple as friendship, let it all slip from my grasp.
I startled a little and opened my eyes as a warm, open palm was pressed against the small of my back, the heat radiating through the silk of my silvery tunic. The hand slowly sliding up and down felt familiar, the palm and fingers pressed against me with utmost care as if I would break into pieces.
“What are you doing here all alone?” a warm voice drawled into my ear so close I could feel the tiny puffs of air each word caused. I shuddered slightly because Viggo was so close and yet so far away. I knew my voice would be thick and husky after the emotional burst but I found I didn’t care.
“I needed to be alone, to...” I shook my head and fell silent. I dropped my head down and squeezed the handle of my bow for I was losing the battle against the onslaught of tears – fast. Viggo carefully touched one soft cheek and wiped away an errant tear with his forefinger. He carefully observed the shimmering pearl on the tip of his finger and tasted the pearly droplet. He caught another trying to slip past the angle of my jaw.
“What are these for?” he queried gently.
I was quiet for a long time and Viggo probably began to think I hadn’t even heard him until a shuddering sigh escaped my parted lips.
“Tell me that a goodbye is a second chance.”
TBC in PART II
Author :
obvmluverBeta: by the lovely
peppervlPairing : Viggo/Orlando
Rating : PG-13
Summary : “Tell me that a goodbye is a second chance.”
Feedback : Please, let me know what you think. Constructive criticism is always good.
Disclaimer : Fiction and Lies.
I quietly slipped out of the warehouse where my last scene was shot. Everything felt so final, intensified by my bow breaking at the end of the shoot. I was leaving home soon, leaving wonderful memories behind; some sad but mostly happy. I felt I had finally belonged somewhere in this world, was finally part of something great and I found joy in knowing that. It wasn’t enough to push aside the thoughts of intense sadness I felt now, though, the sense of loss, too many words left unspoken, and too many secrets needing to be told.
I put the broken bow down onto the rock next to me and sighing, unbraided my wig starting with the big braid at the back and continuing the process with the smaller ones behind my still-pointed ears. Sighing again I stepped onto the rock and, picking up my bow turned to face the orange sunset. I knew I had changed so much during the time I had spent in New Zealand; I had grown up a lot but I also had found a new emotion, felt it washing over me like a wave leaving me feeling empty because I knew it was one-sided. Some might say I couldn’t know, at twenty-three, what I felt, that I hadn’t seen enough, experienced enough to call it love. People would say it was a mere meaningless crush, strong hero worship, or something else, perhaps slightly obscured friendship, but nothing more.
I had done a lot of soul searching, completely in private, during the long hours at night when I couldn’t sleep. I’d watch Viggo, with whom I shared the trailer, softly snoring, his face turned towards the back wall, and feel the emotion rise. Maybe it was just hero worship, Viggo was everything I had always wanted to be, but maybe, just maybe, it was deeper than that. I recalled slipping out into the night, quietly, when everything got a little too much, when I longed to touch the stubbled cheeks, when watching wasn’t enough and I needed a distraction.
Rain had become my friend during the time in New Zealand, it had washed away a lot of my sorrows and worries, sometimes even pain, just like the night. I loved the fact that in the darkness I could abandon the barriers I held in place during the day because I knew in silence I wouldn’t be rejected. In my daydreams I could be happy.
Warm, wet tears found their way onto my cheeks as the unfamiliar pain inside reached a new sphere. The gentle wind felt cool on my cheek and I welcomed it. It was a complete opposite to a whisper against sensitized skin. It was easy to imagine the blond hairs billowing against my neck were the fingertips of the certain someone tempting me into a sensual dance, deeper into the glorious union of two minds and souls.
I had never thought my feelings were wrong in some way. They had felt true and natural from the beginning once the shock of realization had worn off. What I couldn’t understand was how difficult it was to voice the carefully hidden thoughts. Partially I feared rejection and partially I feared I would ruin everything I had carefully built during the past eighteen months.
Determined on forgetting I ever felt anything, I sighed and cast my eyes up to the sky and pretended I’d still be in Middle-Earth, travelling to the shore and later boarding a ship that would carry me to the Undying Lands. Closing them, I concentrated on calming my raging emotions. I didn’t want anyone to see how affected I was by all this. I didn’t want anyone to come to me asking if I was alright. I hated that it was over. I hated the fact that I had fallen in love against my own will, let the love blossom from something as simple as friendship, let it all slip from my grasp.
I startled a little and opened my eyes as a warm, open palm was pressed against the small of my back, the heat radiating through the silk of my silvery tunic. The hand slowly sliding up and down felt familiar, the palm and fingers pressed against me with utmost care as if I would break into pieces.
“What are you doing here all alone?” a warm voice drawled into my ear so close I could feel the tiny puffs of air each word caused. I shuddered slightly because Viggo was so close and yet so far away. I knew my voice would be thick and husky after the emotional burst but I found I didn’t care.
“I needed to be alone, to...” I shook my head and fell silent. I dropped my head down and squeezed the handle of my bow for I was losing the battle against the onslaught of tears – fast. Viggo carefully touched one soft cheek and wiped away an errant tear with his forefinger. He carefully observed the shimmering pearl on the tip of his finger and tasted the pearly droplet. He caught another trying to slip past the angle of my jaw.
“What are these for?” he queried gently.
I was quiet for a long time and Viggo probably began to think I hadn’t even heard him until a shuddering sigh escaped my parted lips.
“Tell me that a goodbye is a second chance.”
TBC in PART II
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no subject
Date: 2009-03-02 12:06 am (UTC)*hugs*
no subject
Date: 2009-03-02 12:12 am (UTC)*hugs*
WN
no subject
Date: 2009-03-02 08:34 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-03-02 10:02 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-03-02 10:07 am (UTC)*hugs back*
no subject
Date: 2009-03-02 10:07 am (UTC)*hugs back*
no subject
Date: 2009-03-03 10:03 pm (UTC)Poor Orlando being so torn apart. I can't wait for the next part.
Love the song too. Shinedown are amazing *hopes its the right song in mind*
:]
no subject
Date: 2009-03-03 10:04 pm (UTC)I'll post the next chapter as soon as I get it back from the beta.
Thank you for stopping by and commenting. =D